Love on the Lake
A Native American fairy tale inspired this story.3 total reviews
Comment from samantha0930
I really like the idea of using a Native American fairy tale for the contest. :)
There were a few places where you're paragraphs started in a weird spot or some paragraphs weren't quite separated. I was a little confused at the end, because I didn't really understand how Feylyn's scars disappeared, and if Oren was invisible to everyone except for Feylyn, how could she tell that he was visible now?
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2018
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I really like the idea of using a Native American fairy tale for the contest. :)
There were a few places where you're paragraphs started in a weird spot or some paragraphs weren't quite separated. I was a little confused at the end, because I didn't really understand how Feylyn's scars disappeared, and if Oren was invisible to everyone except for Feylyn, how could she tell that he was visible now?
Comment Written 01-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2018
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Thank you, samantha0930, for your feedback and comments. I will go back and take a look at my story again. Thank you again. Feedback only makes us better writers.
Comment from Cass Carlton
This is a lovely story. Many "fairy stories" are based on historical fact. Although the first memories have not survived, the story has, only to be told as a fictional tale. The names of the characters are well chosen with Delpha's name resonating with the Delphic Oracle of ancient Greece. Feylyn reminds me of "Fey" the old Gaelic word for
"fairy" or "sprite". Well done cheers Cass
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2018
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This is a lovely story. Many "fairy stories" are based on historical fact. Although the first memories have not survived, the story has, only to be told as a fictional tale. The names of the characters are well chosen with Delpha's name resonating with the Delphic Oracle of ancient Greece. Feylyn reminds me of "Fey" the old Gaelic word for
"fairy" or "sprite". Well done cheers Cass
Comment Written 25-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2018
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Thank you, Cass Carlton, for your feedback. I tried to choose appropriate names for the characters that reflected their personalities, so I'm glad you liked them. Thank you again for your feedback.
Comment from diamondbogle
I love this. Its pleasant to read. Very well put together and flows nicely. I noticed no errors. Held my attention throughtout. Overall very well done.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2018
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I love this. Its pleasant to read. Very well put together and flows nicely. I noticed no errors. Held my attention throughtout. Overall very well done.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2018
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Thank you, diamondbogle, for your feedback. I'm so glad the story held your attention, which means I achieved one of my goals with this story. Thank you again for your feedback.
