Just One and No More
It was more than he ever gave me18 total reviews
Comment from rspoet
The is an excellent emotional 3-5-3 poem and entry for the contest
Sounds like even one small tear may have been too much
Excellent choice of photograph to match your poem
Well done
Best wishes in the contest
RS
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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The is an excellent emotional 3-5-3 poem and entry for the contest
Sounds like even one small tear may have been too much
Excellent choice of photograph to match your poem
Well done
Best wishes in the contest
RS
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Thank you for the review and the wonderful input, RS -- that was exactly where I was going with this .... one tear too many! :) :) Thank you for taking the time to read my work -- always much appreciated! :) :) Have a wonderful remainder of the weekend! :)
Comment from phill doran
Hello Anon
This is an excellent and evocative set. I am reading it as though the narrator has no regrets about the passing of the other character, and the key for me is that the tear was 'small' but of course it may be read that they have the opposite feelings and are distressed by their lack of distress.
I prefer the former, darker, idea.
A very engaging 3/5/3 which is important as the contest normally attracts lots of entries and the challenge for the writer is working out how to stand out: this one certainly does.
I wish you well with this and with your further writing
cheers
phill
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Hello Anon
This is an excellent and evocative set. I am reading it as though the narrator has no regrets about the passing of the other character, and the key for me is that the tear was 'small' but of course it may be read that they have the opposite feelings and are distressed by their lack of distress.
I prefer the former, darker, idea.
A very engaging 3/5/3 which is important as the contest normally attracts lots of entries and the challenge for the writer is working out how to stand out: this one certainly does.
I wish you well with this and with your further writing
cheers
phill
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Thank you for the review and the wonderful input, Phil -- and, yes, "dark" was exactly where I was going with that one. I had hoped that the title tagline would help folks who might have questions, but your words here reassure me that the message got through! :) :) I sincerely thank you for taking the time to read my work -- always much appreciated! :) :) Have a wonderful remainder of the weekend! :)
Comment from RodG
The poem coupled with that picture convey a provocative story in only eleven syllables. We wonder if the Speaker is "his" widow or child. In either case, a single tear shed is a sad legacy.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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The poem coupled with that picture convey a provocative story in only eleven syllables. We wonder if the Speaker is "his" widow or child. In either case, a single tear shed is a sad legacy.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Thank you for the review and the wonderful input, Rod -- that was exactly where I was going with that one....sad legacy for one, freedom for the other! :) :) Thank you for taking the time to read my work -- always much appreciated! :) :) Have a wonderful remainder of the weekend! :)
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You are very welcome. Rod
Comment from Cindy McIntyre
Very telling and profound of the honest sentiment felt. A short poem, but it conveys so much. A well- written 3-5-3. I hope you do well in the contest. This is a fine entry!
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Very telling and profound of the honest sentiment felt. A short poem, but it conveys so much. A well- written 3-5-3. I hope you do well in the contest. This is a fine entry!
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Thank you for the review and the wonderful input, Cindy -- the short ones are always the tougher ones, in my opinion! :) :) Thank you for taking the time to read my work -- always much appreciated! :) :) Have a wonderful remainder of the weekend! :)
Comment from Van
Excellent submission for the contest. The piece has an air about it that is complemented by the sunrise peeking through the foliage in the artwork. The death of the antagonist is only mourned by one small tear, as if that's all that is warranted.
Well done. Good luck with the submission.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Excellent submission for the contest. The piece has an air about it that is complemented by the sunrise peeking through the foliage in the artwork. The death of the antagonist is only mourned by one small tear, as if that's all that is warranted.
Well done. Good luck with the submission.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Thank you for the review and the wonderful input, Van -- that was exactly where I was going with that one! :) :) Thank you for taking the time to read my work -- always much appreciated! :) :) Have a wonderful remainder of the weekend! :)
Comment from Miranda Langston
man, this is dark. this is super depressing but it also shows that the author wasn't exactly sad about a specific person passing. it's a wonderful 3-5-3 poem though :)
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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man, this is dark. this is super depressing but it also shows that the author wasn't exactly sad about a specific person passing. it's a wonderful 3-5-3 poem though :)
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Thank you for the review and the wonderful input, Miranda -- that was exactly where I was going with that one! :) :) Thank you for taking the time to read my work -- always much appreciated! :) :) Have a great remainder of the weekend!
Comment from Praveen J.
Very powerful and moving. I like it. This is a tough genre to express a meaningful thought or story. You've done well. I guess the trick is to tease the reader's imagination sufficiently to build upon it.
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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Very powerful and moving. I like it. This is a tough genre to express a meaningful thought or story. You've done well. I guess the trick is to tease the reader's imagination sufficiently to build upon it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Thank you for the review and the wonderful critique, Praveen, I do so appreciate your taking time to read my work! :) :)
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written 3-5-3 poem, it is very sad but also true that some people can hurt us so much that we cannot even shed one tear when they die, because we cannot feel anything.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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A very well-written 3-5-3 poem, it is very sad but also true that some people can hurt us so much that we cannot even shed one tear when they die, because we cannot feel anything.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2018
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Thank you for the review and the wonderful input -- that was exactly where I was going with that one! :) :) Thank you for taking the time to read my work -- always much appreciated! :) :)
