Playing the Human Game
Decisions makes one who a person becomes5 total reviews
Comment from tfawcus
I enjoyed reading your prose poem. The conclusion that we are responsible for our own actions is a valid one. Those who use their beliefs to justify their actions in terms of being the will of some exterior force or god cause much misery in the world.
Just one small typo to fix: others perception (others' perception).
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2018
  |
I enjoyed reading your prose poem. The conclusion that we are responsible for our own actions is a valid one. Those who use their beliefs to justify their actions in terms of being the will of some exterior force or god cause much misery in the world.
Just one small typo to fix: others perception (others' perception).
Comment Written 19-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2018
-
I am pleased you enjoyed this piece. Thanks for the read.
Comment from meeshu
this is very close to my belief system, so, of course, I like this poem. to me religion is a tool to help you act right. if it works use it. same goes for atheism. too many people play this "I hope I picked the right one and everyone else is wrong' game..
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2018
|
this is very close to my belief system, so, of course, I like this poem. to me religion is a tool to help you act right. if it works use it. same goes for atheism. too many people play this "I hope I picked the right one and everyone else is wrong' game..
Comment Written 19-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2018
-
I am pleased you could identify with this piece. Thanks for the read and comments.
Comment from Gloria ....
A very deep and introspective examination of personal motivation, author. It's sounds like you've done a lot of soul-searching and have arrived at a most sensible conclusion.
So true, be kind, don't lie, not even the small stuff and do your best.
Best of luck to you in the contest. This is a fine entry.
Gloria
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
|
A very deep and introspective examination of personal motivation, author. It's sounds like you've done a lot of soul-searching and have arrived at a most sensible conclusion.
So true, be kind, don't lie, not even the small stuff and do your best.
Best of luck to you in the contest. This is a fine entry.
Gloria
Comment Written 19-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
-
Thank you for taking the time to read my work and the comments. Much appreciated
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello Anon, this is an intelligent poem that poses a lot of questions, and I appreciated that aspect of your poem. It has a good flow and is a good entry for the writing prompt. (I do think Nietzche was right off the mark, but that's just my personal opinion.)
I liked your ending, too, it wraps it up really nicely and it is right, the choices we make, especially when we're young, determine the way we will live and be into the future. So many people blow their life's opportunities when young and carry that for the rest of their lives, often in the form of sick bodies and minds.
I have one thing I will bring to your attention:
Decisions makes one who a person becomes
I would write 'make' instead of 'makes', but that could be me, so just check it out. I noticed nothing else and this is a work I'd recommend to other readers for review, cheers, Ana.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
|
Hello Anon, this is an intelligent poem that poses a lot of questions, and I appreciated that aspect of your poem. It has a good flow and is a good entry for the writing prompt. (I do think Nietzche was right off the mark, but that's just my personal opinion.)
I liked your ending, too, it wraps it up really nicely and it is right, the choices we make, especially when we're young, determine the way we will live and be into the future. So many people blow their life's opportunities when young and carry that for the rest of their lives, often in the form of sick bodies and minds.
I have one thing I will bring to your attention:
Decisions makes one who a person becomes
I would write 'make' instead of 'makes', but that could be me, so just check it out. I noticed nothing else and this is a work I'd recommend to other readers for review, cheers, Ana.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
-
You must have seen an earlier version of the work. I removed the line "Decisions makes..." But, I agree it should be Decisions make. Thanks for your thoughtful comments. Much appreciated.
Comment from Lady Jane
Just because it isn't kitschy, overly rhymed, and the flow was perfect. The thought provoking subject was well penned and the overall effect on the reader was profound. Nicely done, writer. Good luck in the contest. This ones a sure contender. God bless, Janelle
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2018
 |
Just because it isn't kitschy, overly rhymed, and the flow was perfect. The thought provoking subject was well penned and the overall effect on the reader was profound. Nicely done, writer. Good luck in the contest. This ones a sure contender. God bless, Janelle
Comment Written 18-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2018
-
Thank you so much for your read, the rating and the encouraging words.