Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Bill, Oh I liked this 5-7-5 poem. I've said it before, but you have a way with words that really set off my vivid imagination. In this case it was supported by a great illustration. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018

Thanks, Ulla

Comment from Angela Hayes

Excellent

Good read, educational, well presented, rats having fun on a treadmill, good creative idea to use rats in a poem, artistic and poetic, creative way of thinking, creative use of words.

Good Luck!

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018

Thanks, Angela

reply by Angela Hayes on 13-Jul-2018

:)

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a very cute 5-7-5 poem about the gerbils in a crazy gerbil wheel. You used very good descriptive words that went well with your art work you chose. Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 12-Jul-2018

Thanks, Teri

reply by Teri7 on 18-Jul-2018

you are so welcome!

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

I love Escher's works. This one is a little different from his norm. Nice use of boldfaced letters. Is there a TV show called Infinity Run? It does fit the gerbil's treadmill.
Great paradox in line two. Effective ending with the alliteration of T sound.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2018

Thanks, Shari. No show called infinity run that I know of.

Comment from damommy

Excellent

It certainly is a twilight zone treadmill. Poor little guys will never figure out how to get off unless they just drop.

What an imagination. Good photo for this piece.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2018

Thanks, da

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Ha, now that is funny, Bill. Gerbils disoriented on a mobius strip. I think that might be fun and it is sure to drive the gerbils and humans watching crazy. Yes, very Escherish.

I'm much enjoying Gerbil land adventures.

Gloria

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2018

Thank you, Gloria.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Lol! Love the idea. And it would be like those spooky shows like Outer Limits and the Twilight Zone if Escher designed the treadmill for the poor gerbils. I'm guessing this is an ekphrastic poem as the picture came first?

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2018

Thanks, lyenochka, for giving this a look. Bill

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Poor little gerbils. MC Escher's art is certainly intriguing, but I wouldn't want to get lost in it. There's no way out. Your poem is both fun and nightmarish for the gerbils. Marilyn

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2018

Thanks, Marilyn

Comment from Kerry Foley

Excellent

lol, Very cute, Bill. "infinity run" lol Nice humor in this 5-7-5.
I always enjoy your animal writes:))) ~Kerry

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2018

Thanks, Kerry

reply by Kerry Foley on 15-Jul-2018

Welcome:))

Comment from judiverse

Excellent

It would be nice if they thought of some more activities for gerbils. Maybe they'd like an agility course. The artwork makes it look like they're on a roller coaster. Twilight Zone treadmill is a great description. Nice alliteration, too. Correct syllable form, but since it's not for a contest who's counting. judi

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2018

Someone out there is counting.

reply by judiverse on 11-Jul-2018

No doubt. There are always busy-bodies who will make it their business to count. judi