Comment from brenda faye curtis

Excellent

"Welcome to the rat race" indeed! I see so many layers of meaning in this simple poem--gerbil and rat, wheel and the race, and a newborn in a cold world. This will do well in the contest, I'm sure.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2018

---

reply by the author on 11-Jul-2018

Thanks, Brenda.

reply by brenda faye curtis on 12-Jul-2018

You're welcome, Bill.

Comment from Cindy McIntyre

Excellent

Oh, that sweet tiny little face is so darn cute--great photo! :) I love the sentiment, "welcome to the rat race!" This is fun-loving 5-7-5 and I wish you luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2018

---

reply by the author on 10-Jul-2018

Thanks, Cindy

Comment from nomi338

Excellent

That poor little guy is going to build up some muscles as he spends the rest of his miserable little life running around going nowhere fast. Funny, his life kind of parallels mine in many ways.

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2018

---

reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018

Nomi World 4?

reply by nomi338 on 09-Jul-2018

Not a chance.

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

This little ditty captures the hectic pace of our lives.
Wonderful use of alliteration with we welcome and wheel, awaits, rat race. I always feel so sorry for that gerbil.

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2018

---

reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018

Thank you, Shari, for giving this a look. Bill

Comment from Phillip C Kuhn

Excellent

baby gerbils are one of the cutest things ever, and how you use the term rat race that includes another rodent was smart, I enjoyed the read. good work

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2018

---

reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018

Thanks, Phillip

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Lol. Well the "wheel" could be a kind of a "world" that awaits them. I hope the little gerbil makes it in the "rat race!"
Good syllable count and cute poem overall.

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2018

---

reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018

Thanks, lyenochka.

Comment from Boogienights

Excellent

This is a very cute contest entry, I've had many a gerbil in my life as well as hamsters and I love them. They don't take up a lot of room and they are surprisingly loving. As far as the wheel is concerned... We are all on one in this life so no big deal. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2018

---

reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018

Thanks, BN, for giving this a look. Bill

reply by Boogienights on 08-Jul-2018

Comment from judiverse

Excellent

This gerbil's future is all planned out. Welcome to the rat race is cute. That's such a tiny little guy. It won't be long before he's on that wheel, or maybe looking for that sexy gerbil gal. Your syllable count is right on in this. Best of luck in the contest. Cute picture. judi

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2018

---

reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018

Thanks, Judi, for giving this a look. Bill

reply by judiverse on 08-Jul-2018

You're very welcome. judi

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

This is just so funny, Bill. What a welcome into the world for this cute little guy. Nice play on your destiny awaits you. I guess the mode of transportation and if it in facts takes one beyond the never ending circle is in the eye of the gerbil.

Excellent entry into this contest and best of luck to you.

Gloria

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2018

---

reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018

Thanks, Gloria.

Comment from F. Wehr3

Excellent

Lol, too cute. Love the picture. It's true a wheel awaits this little one. Syllable count looks good. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

Take care,
Russell

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2018

---

reply by the author on 08-Jul-2018

Thanks, Russell.