When Do We Send Him Back?
Upon the birth of my baby brother...13 total reviews
Comment from RodG
You have nailed this one! You really get into the persona of a five-year-old who does not comprehend what NEW BABY BROTHER means, even after she sees him. Great closing sentence!
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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You have nailed this one! You really get into the persona of a five-year-old who does not comprehend what NEW BABY BROTHER means, even after she sees him. Great closing sentence!
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Thanks Rod....I got a critique to cut back on the CAPS and exclamation points and I think probably I should rework that portion of the story. The rest is so true it pretty much flowed naturally. Thanks for the time and comments...
Karenina
Comment from Van
Very well written. Engaging. It keeps the reader's attention throughout. I found no SPAGs or mechanical issues that would be worthy of recommendation. Excellent Contest entry. Good luck!
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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Very well written. Engaging. It keeps the reader's attention throughout. I found no SPAGs or mechanical issues that would be worthy of recommendation. Excellent Contest entry. Good luck!
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Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Thanks Van. I will tone down the CAPS and exclamation points...guess better writing could emphasize what I want to without them, but I enjoyed recollecting my five year old self...
Karenina
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Oh gee. I don't mind CAPS and exclamation points to make a point. Especially a point made from a 5 year old point of view. You're welcome though.
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Yeah....I tried to edit them out, but I left them in the end because that was how my five year old mind THOUGHT! (LOL)--Karenina
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I'm not sure to what you are referring... *shrugs.
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Sorry--I think I got wires crossed.... Thanks for your comments!
Comment from Deirdre Anne Gialamas
Dear Author,
What a really amusing and so tightly written account of 'Big Brother' arriving to dethrone you. You describe so accurately the feelings a firstborn must have receiving such an unwanted gift.
Great story!
Warmest wishes, Deirdre Anne
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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Dear Author,
What a really amusing and so tightly written account of 'Big Brother' arriving to dethrone you. You describe so accurately the feelings a firstborn must have receiving such an unwanted gift.
Great story!
Warmest wishes, Deirdre Anne
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
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Thank you so much Deirdre. I well remember the feeling of being "ousted" from my "royal" position...guess all families go through some version of this. I really did want to send him back but he ended up being a blessing.
Karenina
