In the End
It was a fitting exit for everyone....11 total reviews
Comment from Mary Hollingsworth
Well writer I must say there is a lot of action going on here, you're trying to explain to Clare that you were stabbed by a guy. Then in the confusion you tell Clare that you think that it might be two guys and you don't quite know which one really stabbed you you're bleeding profusely and you trying to explain to Claire what's going on. As you then colapse do the floor with a bag of C4 as you begin to scream profanity at the media. WOW that's a lot of action. Then if I'm not mistaken you're also trying to prevent a president's assassination it's just so much going on it's hard to keep up so that is a lot of action you get 15 points for the action
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2018
Well writer I must say there is a lot of action going on here, you're trying to explain to Clare that you were stabbed by a guy. Then in the confusion you tell Clare that you think that it might be two guys and you don't quite know which one really stabbed you you're bleeding profusely and you trying to explain to Claire what's going on. As you then colapse do the floor with a bag of C4 as you begin to scream profanity at the media. WOW that's a lot of action. Then if I'm not mistaken you're also trying to prevent a president's assassination it's just so much going on it's hard to keep up so that is a lot of action you get 15 points for the action
Comment Written 04-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2018
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Thank you so very much for your review, Mary! :) :) :) I really had fun with Clarice -- she was a much needed "break" from summer lesson planning -- so, I am glad that you enjoyed her, too!! :) :) Many thanx for those wonderful stars an enjoy the weekend ahead! :)
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You're welcome and you also enjoy your weekend as well.
Comment from MissMerri
This was really, really good! I was a little confused, perhaps out of touch with current explosive devices and government intrigue, but I would love to read a longer version of this. It is definitely well written and exciting and curiosity- building. I hope there will be more to read when there is no word limit. I know that inhibits the storytelling somewhat, but you still told quite a fascinating tale. Great work!
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2018
This was really, really good! I was a little confused, perhaps out of touch with current explosive devices and government intrigue, but I would love to read a longer version of this. It is definitely well written and exciting and curiosity- building. I hope there will be more to read when there is no word limit. I know that inhibits the storytelling somewhat, but you still told quite a fascinating tale. Great work!
Comment Written 04-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2018
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Thank you so very much for your review, Miss Merri! :) :) :) I really had fun with Clarice -- she was a much needed "break" from summer lesson planning -- so, I am glad that you enjoyed her, too!! :) :) Many thanx for those wonderful stars an enjoy the weekend ahead! :)
Comment from Bill Schott
This action scene, In The End, was invigorating to read. It had a sense of the deactivating the nuke scene from The Andromeda Strain. Lots of unknowns here, but I guess that's not the issue. Good action.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2018
This action scene, In The End, was invigorating to read. It had a sense of the deactivating the nuke scene from The Andromeda Strain. Lots of unknowns here, but I guess that's not the issue. Good action.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2018
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Thank you so very much for your review, Bill! :) :) :) I really had fun with Clarice -- she was a much needed "break" from summer lesson planning -- so, I am glad that you enjoyed her, too!! :) :) Many thanx for those wonderful stars an enjoy the weekend ahead! :)
Comment from JDRBAR
I'm afraid that I found this piece to awkward and confusing to follow. Perhaps a second or third reading would clarify the action better, but it was difficult to read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2018
I'm afraid that I found this piece to awkward and confusing to follow. Perhaps a second or third reading would clarify the action better, but it was difficult to read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2018
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Thank you for your review. :) :)
Comment from meeshu
well, there certainly was a lot of action. I'm a little confused about the box. is it a rejuvenator ? time travel? I will have to read more won't I?
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2018
well, there certainly was a lot of action. I'm a little confused about the box. is it a rejuvenator ? time travel? I will have to read more won't I?
Comment Written 03-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2018
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Thank you so very much for your review, meeshu! :) :) And, nah...the box was actually a manual launch mechanism (Clarice was in the silo)....but, it's no matter -- the piece was something I did to break free from the "summer lesson planning blues"........saw the contest and thought it would make the perfect "escape". :) :) Didn't really think too hard on it -- just had fun with Clarice for a little while!! :) :) :) Again, thanx for reading and being out there -- have a wonderful week ahead!! :) :) :)
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I had fun trying to figure out what it was
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Well, you just squeaked this one in under the word limit 499. lol
but my side was literally killing me now - woohoo, at last literally used in the correct manner. it's been a long time...
although the voice was faring better - you could use it rather then the repetition of voice here.
Bullets, knives, throwing stars... nice!
This is a good strong, and fast-paced piece. Exactly what was called for I think.
good luck
GMG
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2018
Hi there,
Well, you just squeaked this one in under the word limit 499. lol
but my side was literally killing me now - woohoo, at last literally used in the correct manner. it's been a long time...
although the voice was faring better - you could use it rather then the repetition of voice here.
Bullets, knives, throwing stars... nice!
This is a good strong, and fast-paced piece. Exactly what was called for I think.
good luck
GMG
Comment Written 03-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2018
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Oh my goodness -- you actually caught the "literally" I threw in there!! :) :) :) I had a lot of fun with Clarice on this one -- it was a much needed break from the "lesson planning blues/frustrations" -- lol! Thank you so very much for your review, giraffman -- glad to have put a smile on your face today! Have a wonderful week ahead! :)
Comment from Sugarray77
Excellent! Fast paced and riveting from beginning to end. This is a great entry for the Quick Action Scene contest prompt. I loved the flow and rhythm of your piece and think it will do well. Good luck and great job!
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2018
Excellent! Fast paced and riveting from beginning to end. This is a great entry for the Quick Action Scene contest prompt. I loved the flow and rhythm of your piece and think it will do well. Good luck and great job!
Comment Written 02-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2018
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Wow! Thanx so very much for the wonderful six stars, Sugarray! You made my week! :) :) :) I really had fun with "sweet" Clarice -- it was one of those "escape from lesson planning" writings!! :) :) Thank you again!
Comment from Dean Kuch
No, there would be very little need to depress the button on the detonator if an ICBM had been launched.
In the grand scheme of things it would be akin to farting in a hurricane, or pissing in the ocean.
In other words, it wouldn't make much of an impact, considering.
The tension was palpable in this fantastic, well penned action scene entry.
Best of luck to you in the voting.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018
No, there would be very little need to depress the button on the detonator if an ICBM had been launched.
In the grand scheme of things it would be akin to farting in a hurricane, or pissing in the ocean.
In other words, it wouldn't make much of an impact, considering.
The tension was palpable in this fantastic, well penned action scene entry.
Best of luck to you in the voting.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018
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I get that, but she doesn't launch it. :) :) ;) ;) Thank you so very much for your review, sir! Have a wonderful week ahead! :) :)
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I love your use of images in your reviews/replies.....I've got to find time to figure that out! :) :) :) Take care!
Comment from Phillip C Kuhn
Dammit Clare is a bad ass, it's shaky as to if she is a good guy or bad guy or maybe a good guy working for the wrong people, all in all it was a food fun read, thanks for sharing ð???ð??»ð???ð??»
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018
Dammit Clare is a bad ass, it's shaky as to if she is a good guy or bad guy or maybe a good guy working for the wrong people, all in all it was a food fun read, thanks for sharing ð???ð??»ð???ð??»
Comment Written 02-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018
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Thank you so very much for your review, Phillip! :) I had fun writing Clare -- was a welcome break from summer lesson planning.......you know, the whole living vicariously through your writing shtick?! :) :) :) Thanx for the wonderful stars and have a wonderful week ahead!
Comment from tfawcus
Certainly action packed! I wasn't sure who Clarice was - or was that a misprint for Claire? Your heroine seems to have gone down fighting and taken everyone else with her.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018
Certainly action packed! I wasn't sure who Clarice was - or was that a misprint for Claire? Your heroine seems to have gone down fighting and taken everyone else with her.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018
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Ha! They're one in the same -- went back and changed the spelling from "ai" to just "a" to indicate such. :) :) Thank you so very much for your review today and for your eagle eye! Have a wonderful week ahead!