Loophole
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Clothes, But No Cigar"All chapters
6 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
Well you got me laughing right off the bat Marv, with the Clothes, but No Cigar title. I'll admit it, puns, good ones anyway are a real treat for me.
Sterling thought. You can remove that because the italics is used to indicate thought.
Haaaaaaa, funny thing about surgery eh? They have to remove the externals to get to the internals. Love his thought process by the way because he thinks very much like I do. And on second thought, leave the Sterling thought in because I get the humour now.
I guess it is a good idea to read the fine print.
Very much enjoyed this. Your humour is understated, but stellar.
Gloria
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2018
  |
Well you got me laughing right off the bat Marv, with the Clothes, but No Cigar title. I'll admit it, puns, good ones anyway are a real treat for me.
Sterling thought. You can remove that because the italics is used to indicate thought.
Haaaaaaa, funny thing about surgery eh? They have to remove the externals to get to the internals. Love his thought process by the way because he thinks very much like I do. And on second thought, leave the Sterling thought in because I get the humour now.
I guess it is a good idea to read the fine print.
Very much enjoyed this. Your humour is understated, but stellar.
Gloria
Comment Written 21-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2018
-
I'm hooked on the sound of your laughter. Thanks for being a loyal supporter.I'm very glad you liked this chapter. I'm also glad you like the 'fine print' line.
I use more than one type of humor, but I wouldn't know how to label them.
I wish you success with all of your writing.
Marv
Comment from judiverse
They can't keep Sterling down, even if he's in the hospital. Brennan guessed he'd go after Ronald's clothes. I think it's funny that Sterling wonders why his clothes were taken. He's a criminal, after all. Chico is willing to take on the task of eliminating Ronald. Sterling's decided that if he lives he could well spill the beans. Chico comes cheap, too. Just $20, Great work with the inner dialogue and characterization. Well done indeed! judi
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2018
|
They can't keep Sterling down, even if he's in the hospital. Brennan guessed he'd go after Ronald's clothes. I think it's funny that Sterling wonders why his clothes were taken. He's a criminal, after all. Chico is willing to take on the task of eliminating Ronald. Sterling's decided that if he lives he could well spill the beans. Chico comes cheap, too. Just $20, Great work with the inner dialogue and characterization. Well done indeed! judi
Comment Written 20-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2018
-
Thanks, Judi, for reviewing chapter 14.
I should have made it clearer that Chico is the Filipino patrolman who, with his partner, Charlie, came to the hospital to keep an eye on Sterling.
Wearing a hat that almost covers his eyes and being out of uniform, he wouldn't look much like a cop. Fear not. There' has to be a reverse coming up.
Thank you for the compliments and the five stars.
Brennan made a good guess but it's not surprising. He's near retirement age and with his many years of experience, ideas of this kind come to him naturally.
Thanks again.
Marv
-
Thanks for filling me in on Chico. I must have missed that part. judi
Comment from ShirleyT1
I like your strange and well-written story. I like the insight to the inner thinking of your character. And I thought Sterling's last remark was so appropriate for his character. Great job!
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2018
|
I like your strange and well-written story. I like the insight to the inner thinking of your character. And I thought Sterling's last remark was so appropriate for his character. Great job!
Comment Written 20-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2018
-
Thank you, Shirley, for reviewing Chapter 14 of FOW Play, (No matter what name FS gives it.) my first murder mystery.
The thoughts of some characters seemed necessary at times and I'm happy that you liked that.
Thanks for the compliments. Thank you for the five stars.
Marv
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Nice instalment here. Good solid deep point of view.
Right now, I need a sidekick, a helper, a cohort. Someone who will do me a small favor. Oh, I'll pay the person, alright. I'm no cheapskate, Sterling thought. - you don't really need the tag here as you've identified it earlier.
It was five after nine when Tico left the dimly - Chico?
tip-toed into Sterling's room - tiptoed could be a single word here.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2018
|
Hi there,
Nice instalment here. Good solid deep point of view.
Right now, I need a sidekick, a helper, a cohort. Someone who will do me a small favor. Oh, I'll pay the person, alright. I'm no cheapskate, Sterling thought. - you don't really need the tag here as you've identified it earlier.
It was five after nine when Tico left the dimly - Chico?
tip-toed into Sterling's room - tiptoed could be a single word here.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2018
-
It seems that in my writing, I always leave mistakes for you to find and I'm ever so thankful that you do find them and inform me in a timely manner.
Thanks for the good review. I appreciate your comment: 'Good, solid, deep point of view.'
Thank you for the five stars.
Marv
Comment from pome lover
Love the title! funny.
this is a crazy story, MM. I wish I didn't have to say this, but I'm kind of lost. Does everybody but me know what's going on? I think your characters are humorous,, though.
- is it Chico or Tico? and could you tell me again who Ronald Roman is?
thanks,
PL
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2018
|
Love the title! funny.
this is a crazy story, MM. I wish I didn't have to say this, but I'm kind of lost. Does everybody but me know what's going on? I think your characters are humorous,, though.
- is it Chico or Tico? and could you tell me again who Ronald Roman is?
thanks,
PL
Comment Written 19-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2018
-
Every now and then I come up with a good title. I like them to mean something.
It's Chico. He's one of the plainclothes patrolmen.
Ronald Roman is the robber.
If you like I'll send you chapters.
Thanks
-
ok thanks! appreciate it.
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello, good chapter, interesting and I liked your initial hook with the 'catch 22' situation, made me have to think about it, and then you're into the narrative. And Sterling takes over then as he is a very easy character to visualize.
The story read really well and I appreciated your use of Italics and other editing tools. Nicely done and I have no suggestions for improvement, so it's a strong five for me, and thanks for sharing your writing, Ana :)
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2018
|
Hello, good chapter, interesting and I liked your initial hook with the 'catch 22' situation, made me have to think about it, and then you're into the narrative. And Sterling takes over then as he is a very easy character to visualize.
The story read really well and I appreciated your use of Italics and other editing tools. Nicely done and I have no suggestions for improvement, so it's a strong five for me, and thanks for sharing your writing, Ana :)
Comment Written 19-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2018
-
I can't ask for anything more than this very nice review.
The 'Catch 22' portion was originally toward the end but something inspired me to move it up to the beginning.
I hope you visit me again, soon.
Thank you very much for the five stars and everything.
Marv
The last time we spoke: The old lady who hated Halloween 5 *
-
haahah the old lady poem. I have a terrible memory for names, not faces, but names. Nice to see you today. I liked your writing, and what a good idea that you moved that 'catch 22' line. Hooked me. Ana.
