The Georgia Chic Who Crossed the Rd
a home grown fable6 total reviews
Comment from kingpin.101
The story has a good meaning with the moral of cooperation and teamwork. The characters are sturdy, however the relations are a little confusing. Some of the vocabulary you used was a little complex such as " corpulent". Simple vocabulary can help with get your message across easier. There is the also needs more dialogue in to give more detail to the story. The suspense at the end was shocking but it was a little disorganized so I had to read a few times to understand what happen. All in all, the story had a good message. Hope to see more of your work.
   |
The story has a good meaning with the moral of cooperation and teamwork. The characters are sturdy, however the relations are a little confusing. Some of the vocabulary you used was a little complex such as " corpulent". Simple vocabulary can help with get your message across easier. There is the also needs more dialogue in to give more detail to the story. The suspense at the end was shocking but it was a little disorganized so I had to read a few times to understand what happen. All in all, the story had a good message. Hope to see more of your work.
Comment Written 05-May-2018
Comment from Harry Smith
Great picture for a story that kept the reader interested from the beginning until the end. It is filled with lots and lots of imagery.
reply by the author on 04-May-2018
|
Great picture for a story that kept the reader interested from the beginning until the end. It is filled with lots and lots of imagery.
Comment Written 04-May-2018
reply by the author on 04-May-2018
-
thanks, Harry, much appreciated.
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello, you've taken a familiar joke, why does the chicken cross the road? and turned it into a modern fable, I liked it a lot and best of luck in the competition. This certainly meets the criteria and I started to think about a third of the way through, this is not going to end well, hahahaah
Thanks for sharing your story. It was a fun work to review, Ana.
reply by the author on 04-May-2018
|
Hello, you've taken a familiar joke, why does the chicken cross the road? and turned it into a modern fable, I liked it a lot and best of luck in the competition. This certainly meets the criteria and I started to think about a third of the way through, this is not going to end well, hahahaah
Thanks for sharing your story. It was a fun work to review, Ana.
Comment Written 04-May-2018
reply by the author on 04-May-2018
-
thanks so much. nope, 'fraid it didn't.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the Write a Modern Fable.
You told a story with a moral and a twist.
Well done and good luck to you with this one in the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 04-May-2018
|
I think this is a good entry for the Write a Modern Fable.
You told a story with a moral and a twist.
Well done and good luck to you with this one in the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 03-May-2018
reply by the author on 04-May-2018
-
many thanks, Sharon
Comment from Feisty Gecko
haha! Loved the story great job! especially the ending "Mama always knows best, and if you don't believe it, ask Dad." I found that part to be the funniest. Great work!
-Fiesty gecko
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
|
haha! Loved the story great job! especially the ending "Mama always knows best, and if you don't believe it, ask Dad." I found that part to be the funniest. Great work!
-Fiesty gecko
Comment Written 03-May-2018
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
-
thanks a lot!
Comment from Katya
Ho-ho-ho-ho! That is really cute. I feel it succeeds well as a modern fable. It's clear, well written, full of humor, logic, and common sense. I love the wonderful picture of the chicken crossing the road too.
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
|
Ho-ho-ho-ho! That is really cute. I feel it succeeds well as a modern fable. It's clear, well written, full of humor, logic, and common sense. I love the wonderful picture of the chicken crossing the road too.
Comment Written 03-May-2018
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
-
thank you for all your kind words!
