Comment from Sis Cat

Excellent

This is a fine, ribald 1-6-1 that made me smile. Who has not screamed an explicative when stuck? Your poem is humorous and your words well-chosen.

Suggested edits are to eliminate the parenthesis and the quotation marks and use Chuck instead of Cluck so you poem reads:

Chuck,
again here we are stuck.
Fuck!

Keep the punctuation minimal so as not to clutter your small poem and distract from your message.

Thank you for sharing. I wish you contest success.

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2018

---

reply by the author on 29-Apr-2018

Thanks for your critique, Andre, but, in this case, an explanation is in order.

The first line, 'Cluck,' is to indicate the wife's mindless chattering.
The rest of the poem (in a different typeface, to indicate a different voice) is in parentheses (to suggest the words are thought, rather than spoken. After all, there's a kid in the car). The quotation marks indicate that the utterances are by the characters, not the writer.

I don't expect the reader to take note of these details, but I believe they guide him to the interpretation I intend.

In many situations, your points would be exemplary.

Thanks again.

Don

Comment from Cindy McIntyre

Excellent

Ugh...you picked a perfect topic to write about for your 1-6-1 formatted poem. So honest and true. Nothing like traffic to bring out the worst in us! Your rhyming pattern works well, too. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2018

---

reply by the author on 29-Apr-2018

Thanks for the compliments, Cindy, but it's not the traffic jam, itself. As the picture shows, the problem is getting caught in it with the clueless wife blabbing happily on for who knows how much longer.
Don