FAMILY TIES.
Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "Fun Teaching Auntie Ami""ALL IN THE FAMILY."
3 total reviews
Comment from MsPetra
I liked this offering. I can see that you took great care with it.
Your ending was spot on. Well done on that regard.
Good luck. I hope it gets published.
  |
I liked this offering. I can see that you took great care with it.
Your ending was spot on. Well done on that regard.
Good luck. I hope it gets published.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2018
Comment from Katya
Nice little romp through part of Gwendolyn's day. I'd like to see it illustrated. What's up with this elf that lives at the bottom of her stomach? Sounds disquieting to me.
|
Nice little romp through part of Gwendolyn's day. I'd like to see it illustrated. What's up with this elf that lives at the bottom of her stomach? Sounds disquieting to me.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2018
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello Rhonnie, this is very good writing, and I enjoyed your descriptions, and your grammar and spelling are so proficient it made for a smooth read. Engaging, and good dialogue.
Some lovely word-smithing here:
After breakfast, Gwendolyn cleans her fingers with soapy suds.
Swish-swash splash-wash goes her little hands.
Germs know they're done, so away they run.
Then rush-n-brush pasty-mush her toothbrush goes.
Now I'll help auntie Amie pick out my clothes.
I saw no errors and would recommend your to others, as it is entertaining and well-written. Ana :)
|
Hello Rhonnie, this is very good writing, and I enjoyed your descriptions, and your grammar and spelling are so proficient it made for a smooth read. Engaging, and good dialogue.
Some lovely word-smithing here:
After breakfast, Gwendolyn cleans her fingers with soapy suds.
Swish-swash splash-wash goes her little hands.
Germs know they're done, so away they run.
Then rush-n-brush pasty-mush her toothbrush goes.
Now I'll help auntie Amie pick out my clothes.
I saw no errors and would recommend your to others, as it is entertaining and well-written. Ana :)
Comment Written 19-Apr-2018