Comment from Rasmine

Excellent

Good story.

I have a suggestion:
I lie awake in frozen state feeling the pulsating of my heart as if to protrude piercingly through my chest (this is good but maybe a comma somewhere maybe after heart to try to break it up a bit).

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018

Thanks so much for your review and advice. I will revisit this.
It is very much appreciated.
Kind regards.

Comment from Bridget Myer

Excellent

Congratulations on your placing in Ghost Story. This was such an enjoyable piece to read.
Some of your written descriptions are grand, they really pulled me into the location of the story.
Well done and congratulations again

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 24-Apr-2018

Thank you so much 😊

Comment from frogbook

Excellent

A well written description based on this house and the possibility of ghosts. Well described in a chilling and mysterious tale, leaving the reader to wonder about motivations of the spirits.

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018

Thanks so much for your kind review.
Kind regards.

Comment from JeffHarvy

Excellent

Of course,Mass. great inspiration. I fell into the poem immediately. The rocking chair and rockaby baby are haunting. Attics are scary. Including the address adds authenticity.

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018

Thanks so much Jeff for your kind review. Have you ever been to Salem, Ma?
Have a wonderful week.

Comment from Sharon Haiste

Excellent

I think this is a good entry for the Ghost Story writing prompt.
Your ghost story is very well told and clear.
Well done and good luck to you with this one in the competition.
Sharon

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018

Thanks so much for your kind review.
It is so appreciated. Have a wonderful week.