Reviews from

Couples unite

A love kindered

4 total reviews 
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am so happy to see you placed in the contest with this wonderful story, my friend. Congratulations on this achievement~Debbie

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2018
    Thank you so much and I hope you are well.
Comment from Cmelton
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very well written and such an excellent ending. I love the way you snuck the ending in there. It gave me a laugh. Very well done and good luck in the contest. I think you have a good chance at winning.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2018
    Thank you, once more.
Comment from apky
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted



A very enjoyable story with well written narrative as well a dilogue that rings true and flows. The reader was pulled into the story from the beginning.

The only suggestion I have is below.

Harry's dad laughed, kissed his wife on the cheek and turned to his son's(sons-without apostrophe).

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2018
    Thank you and I am glad you liked it.
Comment from Henry King
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a nice romantic story with the surprise hook at the end. Excellent. It is difficult to notice the transition in Harry's aging. At first, I thought this was a children's story about a crush. I recommend a sentence showing that aging has taken place be inserted. The four shots of scotch seem too much, unless both Harry and Jenny were alcoholics.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2018
    Thank you. The scotch symbolises Harry's shock but I get your point and will change it.