Reviews from

Perennials of War

Viewing comments for Chapter 70 "Chapter Einundzwanzig part drei"
Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan

29 total reviews 
Comment from Janilou
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

An interesting chapter that propels the plot forward nicely. I'm thinking Benjamin doesn't care how well off Anderson is because he's not Jewish?
The only thing I found to comment in the way of suggestions would be this line:

"Papa, that brings me to the second reason. Liam had sexual intercourse with any woman he could bed."

Considering she is more casual in her reference to this when she says in at the table to Liam, I wondered if she would have been quite this formal when telling her day. To me, she might have said,

"Papa, that brings me to the second reason. Liam had sex with any woman he could bed."


Just a thought!
Otherwise, a great chapter.
Jan

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 30-Mar-2018
    Very good point. During the novel I have her talking pretty formal with her dad. I will think about it. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Katya
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Interesting and engaging. I'm jumping in in the middle, slightly confused, but I had a good read. The dialogue works, and the plot turns are interesting. I'm getting a sense of the characters. I really enjoyed how Shana dealt with the matter of Liam, and wanted to cheer when grandma told him to go home. I like Anderson. Is he Jewish?

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 30-Mar-2018
    Anderson is NOT Jewish, hence the problem. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Katya on 30-Mar-2018
    thanks
Comment from Zue65
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So Shana can really speak her mind squarely with her ultra conservative father. That's good, because I like women characters to be strong-willed and a bit stubborn when needed. This post is really interesting. Keep writing.

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 30-Mar-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Pamusart
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I could not find a single thing wrong with this. Well written and held my attention. Thank you very much for the detailed character information. I have missed all chapters besides this one I am rather new to FSR. Thank you for sharing. Actually, I did read a different chapter that also discussed the painting

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 30-Mar-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi, Barbara

I like the tension you maintain throughout this chapter. Anderson is the one keeping the cooler head at the moment, but Shana is showing real grit in standing up to the family with the truth about Liam. Things are moving fast!

Great job.

:) Bev

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2018
    I hope I can bring it all together. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Writingfundimension on 28-Mar-2018
    I've got complete confidence in you :)
Comment from Swampfox1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an excellent chapter in your book. I like the way the conversations are realistic and that works very well in any book. I enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from apky
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted


Yes, I loved Shana stepping out of her backstage cocoon and right into the limelight. It makes her an interesting character and a woman with her own backbone.

I could sympathise with the parents as well as Shana and Anderson. I come from such conservative extended families who think they know what's best for their children when it comes to matters of the heart - and especially such matters involving their daughters.

Great write, great read.

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2018
    Thank you. I promised Shana would get stronger. LOL As she moves to Texas she takes things a little slower, again but be patient, she comes out much stronger when needed.
Comment from mbroyles2
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Well I definitely didn't expect Shana to stand up to her father so quickly.
She does have spunk.
I liked seeing this side of her.
Anderson hit them with some interesting news there at the end as well.
Can't wait to see how it plays out.
Very Good!
Michael

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
    Sshana does have spunk and can show it when she feels strongly about something. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello, a nicely written piece of prose, I enjoyed your characters and Shana is a well-developed character and her conversation with her father was so real and reminded me of my dad. Is anyone ever good enough for your dad? hahaha

I like the author's notes and list of characters, that helps to read the work when you are not familiar with all the chapters. I have no suggestions for improvement and would recommend this to other readers for review, cheers, Ana.

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
    Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Artasylum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

After Anderson put away his phone, Shana touched his arm. When he turned around, she said, "I'm sorry I'm keeping you from your responsibilities."

"You're not keeping me from anything." Anderson laughed. "Hell, who am I fooling? Since I met you, you've completely turned my world upside down." This a romantic, sensuous piece sexy and a fun read. thanks so much yours, diana

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
    Thank you for the encouragement.