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This Time - That Time 2

Viewing comments for Chapter 38 "One Step Forward-Two steps Back"
Veronica is sent back again

35 total reviews 
Comment from Contests

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A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for the recognition this post has received from the FanStory community. While this was not a Contest Committee decision, the committee recognizes this achievement with a seven star review.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2018


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2018
    Thank you so very much, I really appreciate this award.:)) xxx
Comment from l.raven
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

HI Sandra, well Mildred's not real not to busy...bring Francis home with ya...just tell Mildred that her idea didn't pan out...I don't think James would notice this red eyed...white haired boy running around the place...my mom had six of us...I know she wouldn't have notice...he should have bought Rosie some chocolates home...bribe her...LOL...lets see if he has what it takes to change her mind...love your story told sweet girl...and I'm so sorry I am so late...so much going on here...I wish it would get done...sigh...one step forward...two steps back...love you so lots my wonderful friend...xxoo Linda

hi to Ian...and pray they are keeping him out of pain...xxoo

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
    I'm sure Mildred would love him to bits! She's like that. :) Thank you so much, my lovely friend, for the galaxy of bright shiny stars!!!! How can he bribe his Rosie with chocolates, he's got to make them first. LOL! Joe's got a big problem now, and Veronica isn't at all happy with him! Thank you again, my wonderful friend. Love you lots too. :)) Big hugs. Sandra xx

    How far have you got now? What are you doing now? I have to know these things!! Ian bored and totally fed-up. How is your mother? Sending her a hug too. :)) Sandra xx
reply by l.raven on 28-Mar-2018
    the man who was going to do under the house before I had to leave...I talked to him today...he said he hopes to do it in to weeks...I am praying...I so want it done....we will see...and leave Joe alone...LOL...I'll send him all the chocolate he can eat...LOL...and it's Rosie's fault...not my sweet Joe...you are so welcome sweet angel...love you sooooooooo lots...smiling back at ya...

    I feel so bad for Ian...poor baby...lots of hugs for him...oooooooo xxxxxx...my sounded pretty good the other day...my brother went and got her computer from her house...all she does is plays games on it...but it keeps her mind busy...so she doesn't feel so lost...I will give her your hug next time we talk...I sent her an Easter card...problem is...she can't remember getting them...sigh...love you girl...xxoo
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
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Your writing is so well done, Sandra. Good dialogue and use of accents of the time period that you've chosen to write about. Well described with realistic nuances of your characters. Marilyn

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
    Thank you so much, Marilyn, for reading and reviewing and the lovely comments. I was brought up with a lot of people who are like Mildred, and others in a way, so it's easy to mimic them by adding just a little more flavour. Thanks again, my friend. Sandra xx
Comment from Rasmine
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello, :)

Sandra, you deserve a six every time I read a chapter, but this was great! Love the speech--can really hear an Irish accent in Joe and Rosie.

I didn't find any SPAGS; just good writing.

See you next chapter.

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
    Thank you so very much, my friend, for the amazing review and the lovely 6 stars! I really appreciate your comments, that was so nice of you to say that. Big hugs!! :) Sandra xx
Comment from Curly Girly
Excellent
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Hi, Sandra. This chapter read well. I like the way you placed links at the bottom of your page that takes readers back to your synopsises. It's much better doing that than writing out the whole thing each time.
Nicole

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018

    Thanks, Nicole. It did get a bit tiresome writing it out each time. Now I just add a few lines to update it. Thank you for reading and reviewing, I appreciate that. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh dear, Sandra, what a lovely chapter and what a cliff hanger you leave us on. I think Veronica's idea is brilliant, a great solution to it all, but Rosie is obviously of a different opinion. I can understand where she's coming from, and Joe has probably not sold the idea well enough. I hope Veronica can sort them out. I can't wait for the next chapter. A big hug from a rather cool Spain. Ulla xxxx

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
    Aww, thank you, Ulla for the lovely 6 stars!! You are so kind to wait until today, I really appreciate that! You are such a lovely friend. Cool Spain? It's weird weather everywhere. How are you settling in? Do you have a postal code so I can find you on Google earth? Or the name of your road. I found Alexis' home on there, it makes you so much closer when we can find you.
    Big hugs, dear friend, for the lovely review! :) Sandra xxx
reply by Ulla on 25-Mar-2018
    As you know, I love your story. I'll Pm you my address so you can google it. xxxx
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi Sandra,

Poor old Joe, hiding away like that. Good job with the emotions in this piece. Really come through well. Nice bookending with Joe in another predicament altogether... lol

ridding himself of Gwendolyns embarrassing child." - Gwendolyn's.

"I ... I" Joe looked at the ground - need punctuation before the closing speech marks here.

an' that won't be a chat I'll look forward to." - I'm not sure how this would work out but Joe doesn't pronounce 'to' in his speech, using the clipped t', so perhaps the last word should be likewise here? I tend to think that our speech patterns are more consistent, although I know others such as Humpwhistle doesn't. So your choice!

be cheaper for Sir John to bump me - same thing here with 'to'

be good to us workers, an' always 'ad a nice word t' say - here you use to and t'. (there may be more of these but I'll stop pointing them out)


 Comment Written 25-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
    Thank you so much for finding my slip-ups again, Gareth!! I've gone back and made the corrections and read through the whole part to check out if there were any more. You caught them all. :)) I had fun with this part. I'm really pleased you thought the emotions came through well, I could just imagine Rosie being like that, especially as it seems like Joe didn't explain it properly. Thanks again, and a big hug, my friend, Sandra xxx
Comment from karenina
Excellent
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Since I am less than three week s onsite (after a ten year hiatus) I have embraced the challenge of hopping in midway with a synopsis to guide me. My first question is does the font size have to be so small in each story or chapter submission? I just wondered if you, a s author, has some editing leeway because tiny font c a n be straining to (at least my 64 year old) eyes....

Aside from that I like your writing style--the way you flash out your characters, you skill with th e flow of dialogue (including the local vernacular!)--I see no grammar errors, though I a m not an expert....

I see I have entered where you are approaching a serious conflict ...

Another child!?

I will be for the next post...

Karenina



 Comment Written 25-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
    Hi Karenina, first off, Welcome back. Next, your question. No, the print on FS can be as large as you want it to be. I normally use the 14 for the site but forgot to do that this time. (I've changed it now.) but, for the publisher, they like it to be 12 points. Too large means more pages, more print ink.... so it does keep the cost down.

    I'm glad you had a chance to read the synopsis as this is quite a complicated story to explain in one hit. Yes, there is a huge dilemma here, and we have to get Rosie to agree, or Joe will be in big trouble. At the moment, she doesn't know how much her answer will affect him, or her and the children. Thank you so much for coming in this far into the story, I hope you'll be able to call again! :) Sandra xx
reply by karenina on 26-Mar-2018
    Oh, I'm in! Emotionally invested now!

    Karenina
reply by karenina on 26-Mar-2018
    Oh, I'm in! Emotionally invested now!

    Karenina
Comment from alexisleech
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

As you say, one step forward, one step back. I can understand Joe's impatience to talk to Rosie, but I think he's got a lot more chance if Veronica is there to spur him on.
I can't wait for the next chapter when she'll do exactly that!

Hugs from a 'moderate' Scotland.
Alexis xxx

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
    Thank you so much, my dear friend, for another wonderful review, and alllll those lovely stars!!! I really appreciate all the support you have given me, and so pleased you are enjoying this story. Big hugs, from a reasonably mild Southampton! xxxx Sandra x
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

-The dialogue between Ver.
and Joe is excellent.
-It is very understandable that
he is afraid, but he was
interested in her plan.
-Ver. assures him she will
be there for support.
-I like his reply: "I don't know.
It'd be cheaper for Sir John
to bump me an' Francis off."
-It is good to see Gwendolyn
supportive of the plan and that
Ver. will tell him of her presence.
-The ending is good with the
argument between Joe and Rosie
sounding "like blaring trumpets."
-Another excellent chapter, Sandra.

Glitter Photos
[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Photos*]



 Comment Written 24-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
    Thank you so very much, my dear friend, for this galaxy of golden stars! Are they all for me, this time? Or am I still sharing them with Mildred. (she's not in this part, so they must me for me!!!! lol) I'm so pleased you enjoyed the dialogue between Joe and Veronica. Even though he now knows Francis isn't the devil's son, it's still hard for him when he remembers the colour of his eyes. We'll have to see what happens next. So many hugs coming your way, my friend, thank you!! :)) Sandra xxx
reply by Pam (respa) on 25-Mar-2018
    You are very welcome for the stars and review, Sandra. They are all for you🙂 The dialogue and Joe and Rosie's dialect was very good and added to the story. Hugs are always appreciated, my friend. Have a great day.