Adrian
Introduce your Main Character3 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Warren
Oh, I hope she will disobey him. You make the reader cheer for her. I feel like she's someone who deserves to be her own person. In your first paragraph, new should be knew.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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Oh, I hope she will disobey him. You make the reader cheer for her. I feel like she's someone who deserves to be her own person. In your first paragraph, new should be knew.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much Cindy. I only proofed it once. I?ll correct it.
Comment from Purpleflower
i enjoyed reading this. I think you have given us some nice detail, especially about her personality. the shuffling of her feet, the lowering of her eyes and her reluctance to disobey her father, the way her hair falls around her face. she sounds very kind but almost shy, and reluctant to stand up for herself. I can see how this girl is sad, your mention of the lowering of her eyes. I think you have done well to talk about this character, so well, in such a short segment of writing. the only suggestion i would say is maybe you could add a little bit more information about her character. but personally , i like it as it is
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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i enjoyed reading this. I think you have given us some nice detail, especially about her personality. the shuffling of her feet, the lowering of her eyes and her reluctance to disobey her father, the way her hair falls around her face. she sounds very kind but almost shy, and reluctant to stand up for herself. I can see how this girl is sad, your mention of the lowering of her eyes. I think you have done well to talk about this character, so well, in such a short segment of writing. the only suggestion i would say is maybe you could add a little bit more information about her character. but personally , i like it as it is
Comment Written 10-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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Hey, thanks for the review. There was a 150 Word limit on this prompt and it was to introduce the main character of a story. I would have loved to have had more room. I appreciate you taking the time to review.
Comment from L. Bevan
An interesting account of the social expectations and traditional limits for young women of the era. I wonder how many young women at present around the world face the same lack of life optons.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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An interesting account of the social expectations and traditional limits for young women of the era. I wonder how many young women at present around the world face the same lack of life optons.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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Thank you. I?m sorry if it offends. It?s a true account of my great grandmother.
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Oh, I was touched and impressed by the inspired thought and the story intro. I could see this expanded into a longer story. Thank you for posting.
