Commentary and Philosophy
Viewing comments for Chapter 144 "DAY at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High"My thoughts about t
16 total reviews
Comment from Just2Write
OH, oh my God - was heard everywhere, except in the halls where gun laws get changed. Except in the homes where guns are coveted and revered.
Excellent political poem, Tom. This form is ideal for expressing the shock and the terrible reality of what happened on that day.
No more sympathy and tears are required. It is war on our children, and it's time to make it stop. And, no - not with guns in every lunch box.
Like the Peter, Paul and Mary song:
Where have all the flowers gone... Long time passing.
When will we ever learn? When will we ever learn.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
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OH, oh my God - was heard everywhere, except in the halls where gun laws get changed. Except in the homes where guns are coveted and revered.
Excellent political poem, Tom. This form is ideal for expressing the shock and the terrible reality of what happened on that day.
No more sympathy and tears are required. It is war on our children, and it's time to make it stop. And, no - not with guns in every lunch box.
Like the Peter, Paul and Mary song:
Where have all the flowers gone... Long time passing.
When will we ever learn? When will we ever learn.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
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Thank you Rose. I are sorry to say, not likely. As Bob Dylan said, "The answer is blowin in the wind."
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We need another sixties type grassroots movement. Our generation stopped a war and the slaughter of countless lives. Not soon enough to save them all, but eventually, the pressure worked.
Kids should not be acceptable collateral damage to enshrine a law that promotes the right to kill them.
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
A very well chosen repeat line to highlight the intense drama and emotional
assault as bedlam and carnage were unleashed.
Each stanzas opens the readers conscious thoughts to the individual/s who were impacted so severely by this senseless tragedy.
The simple, stark presentation applies respect to all involved and highlights the magnitude of this event.
:-) Shirley
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2018
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A very well chosen repeat line to highlight the intense drama and emotional
assault as bedlam and carnage were unleashed.
Each stanzas opens the readers conscious thoughts to the individual/s who were impacted so severely by this senseless tragedy.
The simple, stark presentation applies respect to all involved and highlights the magnitude of this event.
:-) Shirley
Comment Written 10-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2018
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Thank you Shirley for such an insightful review. The event moved my, and I am glad it did you too.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
"OH! Oh My GOD!" I'm sure there were cries for God in that hour, but He is not allowed in classrooms anymore. Remember? Is it a hint from him? Perhaps if that boy had been subjected to thoughts of God in the classroom he wouldn't have murder in his heart. Good poem Tom. I think it's time to invite God to watch over our children. Well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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"OH! Oh My GOD!" I'm sure there were cries for God in that hour, but He is not allowed in classrooms anymore. Remember? Is it a hint from him? Perhaps if that boy had been subjected to thoughts of God in the classroom he wouldn't have murder in his heart. Good poem Tom. I think it's time to invite God to watch over our children. Well done. Nancy
Comment Written 10-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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Thank you Nancy. Very good point. Yes, we need prayer, Pledge of Allegiance (with God back in), and discipline. Maybe even parents should be allowed to spank again.
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I do believe children are the foundation of society and our society is being downgraded every year.
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Sad, but true.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You poem shouts out the atrocities that are happening in your schools, it's happening a lot, too. I don't think I'd send my children to school if that happened in England. We don't have guns here, only some police are armed, and the army, of course. Some criminals do manage to get hold of guns, but it's a rare occurrence and I've never known them be used against children in schools. I can't say whether it's right or wrong that anyone can easily buy a gun in the US, but surely it is wrong for just anyone to buy an assault weapon? You state the problem well in your poem, my friend. Very well done. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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You poem shouts out the atrocities that are happening in your schools, it's happening a lot, too. I don't think I'd send my children to school if that happened in England. We don't have guns here, only some police are armed, and the army, of course. Some criminals do manage to get hold of guns, but it's a rare occurrence and I've never known them be used against children in schools. I can't say whether it's right or wrong that anyone can easily buy a gun in the US, but surely it is wrong for just anyone to buy an assault weapon? You state the problem well in your poem, my friend. Very well done. Sandra xx
Comment Written 10-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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Thank you Sandra. Certainly there is no need to own an assault rifle. It is and issue I never had to face when I was growing up. Thanks for the review.
Comment from Pantygynt
And it does too. The repetition used this way is a powerful tool of the orator and, under certain circumstances of the poet too. I find this confuses some students who have been told that repetition is poor poetry but that I think is in the case of a single word re-used, particularly in rhyming verse, as the rhymer. A phrase, even a three or for word phrase is a different matter entirely.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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And it does too. The repetition used this way is a powerful tool of the orator and, under certain circumstances of the poet too. I find this confuses some students who have been told that repetition is poor poetry but that I think is in the case of a single word re-used, particularly in rhyming verse, as the rhymer. A phrase, even a three or for word phrase is a different matter entirely.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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Thank you Pantygynt. I tend to agree with you.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hello Treischel. Oh my goodness I haven't seen you on site in ages. So nice to see you and with having written such an important piece too. It is horrid to think of children using weapons to kill under any circumstances. You do it well and in perfect format for your author's notes explanation. Nice to see you writing. I hope you are well. xoxo Kiwi (deborah)
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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Hello Treischel. Oh my goodness I haven't seen you on site in ages. So nice to see you and with having written such an important piece too. It is horrid to think of children using weapons to kill under any circumstances. You do it well and in perfect format for your author's notes explanation. Nice to see you writing. I hope you are well. xoxo Kiwi (deborah)
Comment Written 10-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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Thank you Kiwigirl, it's nice to hear from you too. I appreciate you comments on this tragic Event. One on too many occurring.
Comment from sunnilicious
Gun control is something to talk about all right. The last major event was ridiculous. So was Columbine, TX. These things don't get forgotten so simply. Dateline had a special this week running on cable that rights teaching children about guns in the house. I was outraged, but not yet married with child.
Fantastic work.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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Gun control is something to talk about all right. The last major event was ridiculous. So was Columbine, TX. These things don't get forgotten so simply. Dateline had a special this week running on cable that rights teaching children about guns in the house. I was outraged, but not yet married with child.
Fantastic work.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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Thank you Alicia. It seems like something might finally be happening on the issue. At least I hope so.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Anaphoric poem. It is a heartbreaking event and all over the world we are shocked to know even our children is. Of safe at school anymore.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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A very well-written Anaphoric poem. It is a heartbreaking event and all over the world we are shocked to know even our children is. Of safe at school anymore.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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Thank you Sandra. It is very frightening.
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing your social commentary and intensifying it with the application of anaphora. I admired your use of alliteration as well. Sighs- Joan
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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Thank you for sharing your social commentary and intensifying it with the application of anaphora. I admired your use of alliteration as well. Sighs- Joan
Comment Written 10-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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Thank you, Joan. It is so unimaginable that this happens.
Comment from Debbie Pope
Not enough can be written on violence in our schools. Thank you for that. I thought that your use of anaphoric was highly appropriate. Thanks for the notes. It refreshed my memory on several matters. Excellent job all around.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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Not enough can be written on violence in our schools. Thank you for that. I thought that your use of anaphoric was highly appropriate. Thanks for the notes. It refreshed my memory on several matters. Excellent job all around.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
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Thank you Debbie. I agree.
