Miscellaneous Poems Vol 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "First day of school"More poems
23 total reviews
Comment from Mark Valentine
Satire of the highest order - just brilliant and a deserving poem of the month nominee. I love that you putt your finger on an aspect of the whole school shooting phenomenon that goes overlooked. Even when nothing happens (as in the vast majority of schools), still the little ways in which we take away the magic of childhood have to take their toll. All the active shooter drills, and metal detectors, and armed teachers send a message, and can't help but have an effect on a child's sense of security in the world.
Your ending, where you point out that we're "special" and that it's not like this in all parts of the world - followed by the point that those who would most vociferously claim that we are a Christian country, makes your point in a powerful way.
Great poem!
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2018
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Satire of the highest order - just brilliant and a deserving poem of the month nominee. I love that you putt your finger on an aspect of the whole school shooting phenomenon that goes overlooked. Even when nothing happens (as in the vast majority of schools), still the little ways in which we take away the magic of childhood have to take their toll. All the active shooter drills, and metal detectors, and armed teachers send a message, and can't help but have an effect on a child's sense of security in the world.
Your ending, where you point out that we're "special" and that it's not like this in all parts of the world - followed by the point that those who would most vociferously claim that we are a Christian country, makes your point in a powerful way.
Great poem!
Comment Written 05-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2018
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Thanks you very much, Mark, for your thoughtful and most kind and generous assessment of my poem. The most bemusing thing I find about the whole issue is that some just some just absolutely flat-out refuse to believe that measures which have been shown to work in every single place they've been tried could not possibly work for "us". A strange attitude. Most appreciated! Craig
Comment from catch22
Hi Craig, I don't think I have to tell you how strongly this poem hits home the entire point of the problem with arming schools. That makes all of us less free and we give into the fear mongering. And for what? That's the real price of the problem--our children's quality of life as well as our own. Teachers don't generally up for handling a weapon or existing in fear in classes. This happens frequently in war torn countries, places where there is real conflict. By preserving some freedoms without limit, it limits even greater ones--like openness and understanding of others. That's the world we should all advocate for, and a world that is accessible if we can just stay open minded and level headed. Lots of irony and sarcasm in this clever write.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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Hi Craig, I don't think I have to tell you how strongly this poem hits home the entire point of the problem with arming schools. That makes all of us less free and we give into the fear mongering. And for what? That's the real price of the problem--our children's quality of life as well as our own. Teachers don't generally up for handling a weapon or existing in fear in classes. This happens frequently in war torn countries, places where there is real conflict. By preserving some freedoms without limit, it limits even greater ones--like openness and understanding of others. That's the world we should all advocate for, and a world that is accessible if we can just stay open minded and level headed. Lots of irony and sarcasm in this clever write.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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Thanks so much for the wonderful review, and the lovely comments, Pam. I saw a post on my FaceBook feed today which I thought was quite pertinent. It suggested someone give Mr Trump a handgun and put him in a classroom up against someone armed with an AR15 - because that's exactly what he is proposing for teachers. I'm glad some people get it. Most grateful - Craig
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Yeah, there was an article from a doctor in the newspaper describing the damage an AR15 does to a victim. It causes 3x as much damage to a body than a pistol. It's scary.
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a good poem to take a break with from your word of the day poem. It is sad what happen in Florida and in all mass shootings like this. It is sad that it seems to be coming to this. That everyone will have to where a kevlar vest. I don't think I could ever carry a gun though.
Keep writiing
Joan
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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This is a good poem to take a break with from your word of the day poem. It is sad what happen in Florida and in all mass shootings like this. It is sad that it seems to be coming to this. That everyone will have to where a kevlar vest. I don't think I could ever carry a gun though.
Keep writiing
Joan
Comment Written 25-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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Too bad more don't think as you do, Joan. Thanks for the kind comments, much appreciated. Craig
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You are very welcome, Craig.
Joan
Comment from closetpoetjester
Unfortunately the reality of school in America today.
With that said, I'm a thankful Aussie and mighty glad John Howard had the balls to change the situation.
I think our record speaks for itself.
Zero, I repeat zero mass shootings, let alone mass SCHOOL shootings since, 1996, I repeat 1996.
USA has had I believe to date around 18 mass shootings since the start of the year. Not sure if they were all school shootings but does it really matter?
Hell no.
When the children of USA are standing up by laying down, I think its time.
The NRA are an evil lot.
LOVED this post. Outstandingly spoken and underlyingly haunting from the pov of the child. Stark reality.
Well done Craig. I like your style.
Cheers
P
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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Unfortunately the reality of school in America today.
With that said, I'm a thankful Aussie and mighty glad John Howard had the balls to change the situation.
I think our record speaks for itself.
Zero, I repeat zero mass shootings, let alone mass SCHOOL shootings since, 1996, I repeat 1996.
USA has had I believe to date around 18 mass shootings since the start of the year. Not sure if they were all school shootings but does it really matter?
Hell no.
When the children of USA are standing up by laying down, I think its time.
The NRA are an evil lot.
LOVED this post. Outstandingly spoken and underlyingly haunting from the pov of the child. Stark reality.
Well done Craig. I like your style.
Cheers
P
Comment Written 25-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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Thanks very much for the really lovely words, and the very generous rating! I never was a huge fan of Howard, even though we went to the same high school (some years apart). But one thing he got 100% right. Most grateful for your kindness :) Craig
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I wasn't his biggest fan either but me thinks he got the gun thing spot on!
Your post was terrific!
Comment from Cycler
You touched upon several topics here. I liked the innocence of the first day of school that you started. I do not remember my first day, but I do recall the first day for my children; it would be fun to put words in their mouths like you did with this child.
Your ending is striking - poignant. Puzzling, our situation -
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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You touched upon several topics here. I liked the innocence of the first day of school that you started. I do not remember my first day, but I do recall the first day for my children; it would be fun to put words in their mouths like you did with this child.
Your ending is striking - poignant. Puzzling, our situation -
Comment Written 25-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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Thank you for reviewing. School is about to get a lot less innocent for a great many, if some people get their way. We were lucky, I guess. Much appreciated - Craig
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yes ... it's one of those stories that I'd almost like to jump to the future to see how it turns out ... then quantum leap back to try to fix it.
Comment from Teri7
Craig, I have to say this is a very well written poem that sounds so true. It is very sad if you think about it. It's not like school was when I was growing up. so sad. You used very good descriptive words and very good imagery. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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Craig, I have to say this is a very well written poem that sounds so true. It is very sad if you think about it. It's not like school was when I was growing up. so sad. You used very good descriptive words and very good imagery. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 25-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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It certainly isn't like my school days either, Teri. My worst problem was a few rather unpleasant teachers. The problems for today's children go far beyond that, sadly. I really appreciate the wonderful review, and very generous rating :) Craig
Comment from mrsmajor
An extremely telling story in a poem, flawless meter and rhyming...You have used your muse well, no need to give my thoughts on the horror of school violence, you know my thoughts on the subject from the forum
For some reason I thought you only wrote stories, which I seldom read, mainly because there's more to it than just saying how much one enjoys it...poetry is more my cup of tea...I really enjoyed this, and hope to read more of your poetry...thanks for sharing, it was s poem well worth 6 stars...at least it was for me...
Warmly,
Victoria
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2018
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An extremely telling story in a poem, flawless meter and rhyming...You have used your muse well, no need to give my thoughts on the horror of school violence, you know my thoughts on the subject from the forum
For some reason I thought you only wrote stories, which I seldom read, mainly because there's more to it than just saying how much one enjoys it...poetry is more my cup of tea...I really enjoyed this, and hope to read more of your poetry...thanks for sharing, it was s poem well worth 6 stars...at least it was for me...
Warmly,
Victoria
Comment Written 24-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2018
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Yes, Victoria, I know your views on the matter, and I know to a large extent we agree on this issue. It's very nice to receive your comments - a "first", I believe.
I haven't had a great deal of time to write stories of late, in between this silly challenge of a poem a day I have set myself, making my opinionated rants on the forum, and all the other things life tends to throw in the way.
I'm very grateful for the wonderful review, and the very generous rating.
Cheers,
Craig
The stars were well deserved, Craig, I don't give then often...but your poem was such a pleasure to read and flowed along so well, yes we do agree on this issue...I'm trying to keep up with 2 of the clubs...but I'm going to have to choose between that and the forum...I'm too old to keep up with them both...lol...
Cheers!
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
I'm trying to review these without stating what I think and it's been hard but here I go. I'm an American gun owner. I don't understand how people can take guns and kill innocent and young people. My gun is put away and only comes out when we go target shooting. My heart breaks whenever there is a shooting. I can't imagine what the kids think when they hear things about the shootings. I'm sure it's even harder when they are so much younger asking questions. You want to put an end to their fears without adding to them. It's just hard. But I do want to emphasis that there are good gun owners out there. You're looking at one.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2018
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I'm trying to review these without stating what I think and it's been hard but here I go. I'm an American gun owner. I don't understand how people can take guns and kill innocent and young people. My gun is put away and only comes out when we go target shooting. My heart breaks whenever there is a shooting. I can't imagine what the kids think when they hear things about the shootings. I'm sure it's even harder when they are so much younger asking questions. You want to put an end to their fears without adding to them. It's just hard. But I do want to emphasis that there are good gun owners out there. You're looking at one.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2018
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Thank you for your very reasoned, and reasonable comments. I appreciate it's a very emotive issue, and becoming more so with every single incident. You do indeed sound like a responsible owner, and therefore perhaps you are willing to accept that some measures must be taken, and something must be done to limit the carnage. Perhaps you don't agree, and that's your right. But I can't believe the answer to the problem is yet more guns, and in my opinion those who think so are grievously mistaken. Again, thanks for a thoughtful review - Craig
Comment from MercurySeven
A fun, droll piece that's not only topical but chilling in a dystopian kind of way. As soon as I read the word Kevlar I thought, this is gonna be good. And it is.
"freedom looks like jail, last time I checked."
Armed teachers, security checks, shooter drills: school time must already feel like Under Siege. You struck just the right tone with this poem, and the meter and rhyming were spot on too. Well done.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2018
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A fun, droll piece that's not only topical but chilling in a dystopian kind of way. As soon as I read the word Kevlar I thought, this is gonna be good. And it is.
"freedom looks like jail, last time I checked."
Armed teachers, security checks, shooter drills: school time must already feel like Under Siege. You struck just the right tone with this poem, and the meter and rhyming were spot on too. Well done.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2018
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Thanks very much for the thoughtful review. I've heard from a kindergarten teacher, who says that's exactly what it feels like. Most grateful for the kind remarks. Craig
Comment from Dawn Munro
I can barely manage to comment on this outstanding poem. Other than saying the meter is smooth and the rhyme impeccable, I'll add only this: once upon a time I would have said, "Thank God I live in Canada!" But gun crime has risen dramatically in recent years. Still nothing to compare to the horrors in the States, thank God, and it's because our gun laws are stringent.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2018
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I can barely manage to comment on this outstanding poem. Other than saying the meter is smooth and the rhyme impeccable, I'll add only this: once upon a time I would have said, "Thank God I live in Canada!" But gun crime has risen dramatically in recent years. Still nothing to compare to the horrors in the States, thank God, and it's because our gun laws are stringent.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2018
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Exactly correct. And you don't have this silly ideology, or whatever you want to call it, that your right to own deadly weapons is more sacrosanct than the lives of children and innocent adults. Which blinds otherwise sensible people to the answer which, if it were a snake, would have bitten them on the arse long ago. Thanks so much for the thoughtful and very kind comments, Dawn - Craig