A Life Of Silent Cries
The children suffer most.86 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, A Life of Silent Cries, presented with five ABAB-rhymed quatrains, is once again before me with perhaps a different title or significant revision. It is too poignant and powerful to be forgotten.
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This poem, A Life of Silent Cries, presented with five ABAB-rhymed quatrains, is once again before me with perhaps a different title or significant revision. It is too poignant and powerful to be forgotten.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2023
Comment from Lisasview
Oh dear Easyeverett1,
Although this was so well written It was so difficult to read because of the visual thoughts that swam through my brain.
So sad...really...The Life of Silent Cries.. War is terrible.
Lisasview, new to this site
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Oh dear Easyeverett1,
Although this was so well written It was so difficult to read because of the visual thoughts that swam through my brain.
So sad...really...The Life of Silent Cries.. War is terrible.
Lisasview, new to this site
Comment Written 05-Jul-2023
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is both horrible and wonderful at the same time. Wonderful that you have expressed a truth so clearly and descriptively.Horrible because, although they say the pen is mightier than the sword, even your carefully crafted words can not open closed minds. Keep writing because one day you will get through. Best wishes!
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This is both horrible and wonderful at the same time. Wonderful that you have expressed a truth so clearly and descriptively.Horrible because, although they say the pen is mightier than the sword, even your carefully crafted words can not open closed minds. Keep writing because one day you will get through. Best wishes!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2023
Comment from royowen
I've been on mission to Cambodia, seen the torture place where only 5 survived out of 14,000 tortured men, women and children tortured to death, the killing fields where 3,000,000 were killed brutally, babies dashed against a tree to save bullets, this was beautifully written, blessings Roy
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I've been on mission to Cambodia, seen the torture place where only 5 survived out of 14,000 tortured men, women and children tortured to death, the killing fields where 3,000,000 were killed brutally, babies dashed against a tree to save bullets, this was beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 05-Jul-2023
Comment from Aaron Milavec
Excellent use of word images around a familiar theme.
"rales of death" It's OK to invent new words but they must make sense.
Terminal respiratory secretions, commonly known as a "death rattle," occur when mucous and saliva build up in the patient's throat. As the patient becomes weaker and/or loses consciousness, they can lose the ability to clear their throat or swallow.
"To life of silent cries" Obscure. You can do better here.
Peace and joy in word crafting,
Aaron M
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Excellent use of word images around a familiar theme.
"rales of death" It's OK to invent new words but they must make sense.
Terminal respiratory secretions, commonly known as a "death rattle," occur when mucous and saliva build up in the patient's throat. As the patient becomes weaker and/or loses consciousness, they can lose the ability to clear their throat or swallow.
"To life of silent cries" Obscure. You can do better here.
Peace and joy in word crafting,
Aaron M
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2023
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is an extremely evocative and haunting portrayal of a young boy dying in the street - a victim of war, the graphic details are deliberately, I assume, designed to pierce the protective shell the reader so often has. It achieves that effect well. Debbie
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This is an extremely evocative and haunting portrayal of a young boy dying in the street - a victim of war, the graphic details are deliberately, I assume, designed to pierce the protective shell the reader so often has. It achieves that effect well. Debbie
Comment Written 04-Jul-2023
Comment from JSD
Another excellent display of verbal and metaphorical pyrotechnics. Your language is quite vicious here, and rightly so. Painful to read. Well done. John
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Another excellent display of verbal and metaphorical pyrotechnics. Your language is quite vicious here, and rightly so. Painful to read. Well done. John
Comment Written 04-Jul-2023
Comment from Monica Chaddick
This poem saddens and disgusts me. It disgusts me because people allow this to be the case. Sadly, even in our wonderful country there are people (including children) starving to death every day. It saddens me because the powers that be claim they are helping, but they really aren't. In our country, NO ONE should have to live on the streets begging. You did a great job portraying the distress of this situation.
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This poem saddens and disgusts me. It disgusts me because people allow this to be the case. Sadly, even in our wonderful country there are people (including children) starving to death every day. It saddens me because the powers that be claim they are helping, but they really aren't. In our country, NO ONE should have to live on the streets begging. You did a great job portraying the distress of this situation.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2023
Comment from ImaginosBuzzardoDesdinova
That was heartbreaking. Poverty, war, and famine hurt so many, the children worst of all. And what is worse is that it's happening here too, and we look at our own unfortunate with disdain
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That was heartbreaking. Poverty, war, and famine hurt so many, the children worst of all. And what is worse is that it's happening here too, and we look at our own unfortunate with disdain
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
Comment from Sanku
It is a very grim scenario you have painted .What angers me that this story will continue to enact over and over and over .Humanity will shed a few 'shocks' and tears and would soon forget..
Wars are here to stay because people are power greedy...
Very effectively written..
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It is a very grim scenario you have painted .What angers me that this story will continue to enact over and over and over .Humanity will shed a few 'shocks' and tears and would soon forget..
Wars are here to stay because people are power greedy...
Very effectively written..
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
