empty beer bottles
For now we see through a glass, darkly.80 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Oh my!!!! I enjoyed reading your contest entry. If flows nicely, it reminds of scenes I've seen of male dorm rooms with pyramids made of beer cans. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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Oh my!!!! I enjoyed reading your contest entry. If flows nicely, it reminds of scenes I've seen of male dorm rooms with pyramids made of beer cans. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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Thank you, Barbara, for your review and for wishing me good luck in the contest. Many reviewers have shared their own beer-bottle-decorating stories.
Comment from Douglas Paul
This is a well constructed tanka. Your turn line is superb and allows both the upper and lower set of lines read well independently, yet flow together seamlessly. Well done, y friend
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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This is a well constructed tanka. Your turn line is superb and allows both the upper and lower set of lines read well independently, yet flow together seamlessly. Well done, y friend
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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Oh, thank you, Douglas, for your review. That is quite an honor coming from an esteemed poet such as yourself. Within the first five minutes of a two hour walk on Saturday, I saw empty beer bottles in a kitchen window and began to write. I had one hour and fifty-five minutes to construct my tanka so that the upper and lower set of lines read well independently and together.
Comment from wordsfromsue
I like your clever play on words.
I could see the amber waves of grain alongside your rays of grain... and see those rays diminishing as the bottles got cracked open. :-)
Your poetry is as winning as your stories. Nice work!
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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I like your clever play on words.
I could see the amber waves of grain alongside your rays of grain... and see those rays diminishing as the bottles got cracked open. :-)
Your poetry is as winning as your stories. Nice work!
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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Oh, thank you, Wordsfromsue, for your winning review. Within the first five minutes of my two hour walk on Saturday, I saw empty beer bottles in a second floor kitchen window of a nearby condo. I began to write. By the time I returned home, it was dark and my poem was finished. Thanks again.
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Ooh, I love to hear your stories behind the posted pieces. :-)
Comment from Ricky1024
This is a Tanja Contest Entree rich in Theme and imagery.
It flowed well and read well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content was aligned well with Objective.
Good luck with this.
Dr Ricky 1024.Later today
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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This is a Tanja Contest Entree rich in Theme and imagery.
It flowed well and read well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content was aligned well with Objective.
Good luck with this.
Dr Ricky 1024.Later today
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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Thank you, Dr Ricky, for your review and compliments of my Tanka. Thanks also for wishing it good luck.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Sis, this is a really good Tanka and a perfect entry to the contest. You write these forms so well. A very nice descriptive piece. 'amber rays of grain climb the wall toward sunset' - lovely use of metaphor describing the shadows as they move on the wall. Good read. Warm regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Hi Sis, this is a really good Tanka and a perfect entry to the contest. You write these forms so well. A very nice descriptive piece. 'amber rays of grain climb the wall toward sunset' - lovely use of metaphor describing the shadows as they move on the wall. Good read. Warm regards Dorothy
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Thank you, Dorothy, for your review. I knew that pivot line "amber rays of grain" made my poem. I am glad you found my use of metaphor lovely.
Comment from Cycler
I like this tanka. It flows great into the third line than outward to the fifth; cool transition and nice artistic message is presented (beyond just the picture). Great job!
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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I like this tanka. It flows great into the third line than outward to the fifth; cool transition and nice artistic message is presented (beyond just the picture). Great job!
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Thank you, Cycler, for your review and for finding my transition cool.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 'Tanka Poetry' writing prompt.
Nicely said and well done. The picture is a good match as well.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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I think this is a good entry for the 'Tanka Poetry' writing prompt.
Nicely said and well done. The picture is a good match as well.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Yes, Sharon, I could not believe my near match with the picture because it came close to matching my observation of beer bottles in a kitchen window yesterday. Thank you for your review and for wishing me good luck in the competition.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I really enjoyed your Tanka, and it's given me an idea for my kitchen! Some of the colours in drink bottles are too nice to throw away and would make for a lovely display. As your words so beautifully point out. Well done and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra x
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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I really enjoyed your Tanka, and it's given me an idea for my kitchen! Some of the colours in drink bottles are too nice to throw away and would make for a lovely display. As your words so beautifully point out. Well done and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra x
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Oh, Sandra, you nailed it. Some bottle colors are too nice to throw away. The bottles in the window create a stained glass effect. Thank you for your review and for wishing me good luck in the contest.
Comment from dragonpoet
Sounds like a pretty sight for a sad happening. This person must be far from happy to be drinking so much.
I like the pun with grain for the wheat fields of a song and the grain the beer
is made of.
Good luck and keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Sounds like a pretty sight for a sad happening. This person must be far from happy to be drinking so much.
I like the pun with grain for the wheat fields of a song and the grain the beer
is made of.
Good luck and keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Yes, Joan, when I saw those bottles in a kitchen window during my walk yesterday, I spent the next two hours fantasizing about what would bring a person to decorate an herb window with empty bottles instead. The last line implies there will be more drinking that night and more empty bottles will join the others on the windowsill by morning. Thank you for your review, your wishing me good luck, and for noting my pun "amber rays of grain."
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You're welcome. My son is really big on puns.
Joan
Comment from Mame
So apt- picture and verse married perfectly. Love your expression of colour as your words have brought the sunset and colour to life - terrific!
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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So apt- picture and verse married perfectly. Love your expression of colour as your words have brought the sunset and colour to life - terrific!
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Oh, thank you, Mame, for your review. After I saw beer bottles in a kitchen window yesterday, I spent the next two hours writing about them. I was thrilled to find a FanArt photo that approximated what I saw. Thank you for your review.
