Operation Nightmare
Surgeon gets sidetracked.2 total reviews
Comment from kiwisteveh
This doesn't quite work for me, I think because the three lines don't all seem to pull together.
I would suggest, that having used the word 'cougar' to describe the predatory older woman. the next line should present you as helpless prey - in other words, keep the metaphor going.
Steve
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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This doesn't quite work for me, I think because the three lines don't all seem to pull together.
I would suggest, that having used the word 'cougar' to describe the predatory older woman. the next line should present you as helpless prey - in other words, keep the metaphor going.
Steve
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Thanks once again for your insightful input. Your point is well-taken, Steve Trying to address it in five syllables wasn't practicable. I had painted myself into a corner, so I did a rewrite. If you have the time, I'd appreciate it if you take a look, and let me know what you think.
D
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a nightmare unfolding in front of my eyes and I was thankful for your author's notes that it as only your cat! Still it gave me a fright! Great stuff, love Dolly x
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This is a nightmare unfolding in front of my eyes and I was thankful for your author's notes that it as only your cat! Still it gave me a fright! Great stuff, love Dolly x
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018