Daylight Streams
Senryu: Hoping for relief16 total reviews
Comment from wordsfromsue
I know it's 'just a poem', but what a great poem! I reread it multiple times and let the reality of it sink in. Daylight might come, but nightmares don't leave a person feeling refreshed or peaceful.
Great work. :-)
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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I know it's 'just a poem', but what a great poem! I reread it multiple times and let the reality of it sink in. Daylight might come, but nightmares don't leave a person feeling refreshed or peaceful.
Great work. :-)
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Hello!
Much appreciation for your thoughtful review~
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi mystery poet (lol) I liked your piece. I think we have all had things in our heads interrupt our sleep and we wished like all get out the sun would rise and chase things away ... A great entry into this one. Good luck. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Hi mystery poet (lol) I liked your piece. I think we have all had things in our heads interrupt our sleep and we wished like all get out the sun would rise and chase things away ... A great entry into this one. Good luck. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Hello!
So very pleased that you enjoyed my offering!
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
I am terrified of the dark an extreme phobia in fact. This poem addresses this so well. I need someone with me or the T.V on if it is dark, also a nightlight. A great poem I enjoyed very much good luck in the competition love Meia x
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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I am terrified of the dark an extreme phobia in fact. This poem addresses this so well. I need someone with me or the T.V on if it is dark, also a nightlight. A great poem I enjoyed very much good luck in the competition love Meia x
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Hello Meia!
Much appreciation for your thoughtful review.
Comment from LIJ Red
The combination of meds I take gives me an mix of uneasy dreams, but they seem to get milder as time goes by. The senryu counts right and the message is sound, Excellent.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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The combination of meds I take gives me an mix of uneasy dreams, but they seem to get milder as time goes by. The senryu counts right and the message is sound, Excellent.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your kind review!
And Best Wishes!
Comment from mermaids
The feeling of lack of rest is clear in your poetic form and use of words. "Still no peaceful rest" is a fitting last line that sums up the first two and makes a statement.I wish you well in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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The feeling of lack of rest is clear in your poetic form and use of words. "Still no peaceful rest" is a fitting last line that sums up the first two and makes a statement.I wish you well in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Hello!
Thank you for your thoughtful review and kind wishes.
Comment from Bill Schott
This senryu, Daylight Streams, uses a five-seven-five format and welcomes the daylight and the wakened world over the trap and terror of nightmarish, troubled sleep. Wake up!
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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This senryu, Daylight Streams, uses a five-seven-five format and welcomes the daylight and the wakened world over the trap and terror of nightmarish, troubled sleep. Wake up!
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Hello!
Thank you for your thoughtful review!
I'm awake! :)
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written senryu. A sleepless night is one of the things we cannot always avoid. When the light odcthe sun drives the night away we still feel no peace.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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A very well-written senryu. A sleepless night is one of the things we cannot always avoid. When the light odcthe sun drives the night away we still feel no peace.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Hello Sandra,
So pleased you enjoyed my offering!
Comment from Thomas Bowling
It's common for everything to seem worse in the dark. My sister spent her whole life terrified of the dark. She slept with a nightlight. If it went out she would scream.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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It's common for everything to seem worse in the dark. My sister spent her whole life terrified of the dark. She slept with a nightlight. If it went out she would scream.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Hello Thomas,
Thank you for stopping by and your thoughtful review!
Comment from Dean Kuch
Do't ya hate it when that happens, Anonymous Poet?
The only good thing about having adult night terrors is they make for some great topics for us to write about.
But ya gotta write everything down in a journal, or diary.
Century, or time, the dream took place.
Style of dress.
Cobblestone streets with gas streetlamps, or something more modern?
Were you an active participant in the events unfolding in the nightmare? Or were you merely an outsider--unheard and unseen--looking in; much like watching a horror flick?
You're right, though. They certainly don't allow you to get much sleep.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2018
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Do't ya hate it when that happens, Anonymous Poet?
The only good thing about having adult night terrors is they make for some great topics for us to write about.
But ya gotta write everything down in a journal, or diary.
Century, or time, the dream took place.
Style of dress.
Cobblestone streets with gas streetlamps, or something more modern?
Were you an active participant in the events unfolding in the nightmare? Or were you merely an outsider--unheard and unseen--looking in; much like watching a horror flick?
You're right, though. They certainly don't allow you to get much sleep.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2018
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Hello!
Not necessarily an active participant to the extent related here.
Thank you so much for your kind, thoughtful, and thorough review!
Comment from jaded831
Everyday is a struggle, as the sun rises we feel we can do anything. Unfortunately each day brings new troubles, and once again sleeplessness. Your words are profound, and easy to relate to. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2018
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Everyday is a struggle, as the sun rises we feel we can do anything. Unfortunately each day brings new troubles, and once again sleeplessness. Your words are profound, and easy to relate to. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2018
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Hello!
Much appreciation!
Thank you!