Comment from Alec Gould

Excellent

Very powerful my friend! Who says one must display many words to get their point across? 5-7-5, a very interesting poem. Well done! Have a great week my friend! ~Alec

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018

Thanks, Alec. I hope it was food for thought.
Be happy!
Don (Ogden)

Comment from catch22

Excellent

Interesting poem about the neutral nature of the universe. I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment, and I like the use of internal rhyming in the last line. My only real criticism is it sounds a little preachy and accusatory to me, instead of being neutral or objective. There is a strong value judgement made against the reader here. This tone can be off putting.

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 14-Jan-2018

Yes. I agree. i was aware of that possible interpretation when I wrote it. As they say, 'the truth hurts.' I know it's a long-shot, but, t's an attempt to cause the reader to consider the labels or preconceptions she/he consciously or unconsciously attaches to other human beings.

Thanks for your well-intentioned heads-up, Catch22!

Comment from Sharon Haiste

Excellent

I think this is a good entry for the '5-7-5 Poem' writing prompt.
A good message, all too true.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 14-Jan-2018

Thank you, Sharon.