Courtly Love
a story in a poem-hope it is acceptable27 total reviews
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is a sad but beautiful love story in a poem. Your well chosen words allow the reader to easily envision each scene, as a young couple prepare to separate due to war. Prior to separation, they did have many a day to abide together. Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2022
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This is a sad but beautiful love story in a poem. Your well chosen words allow the reader to easily envision each scene, as a young couple prepare to separate due to war. Prior to separation, they did have many a day to abide together. Well done.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2022
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Thanks, LJ, for reading and reviewing my poem. I am glad you liked it.
Joan
Comment from Ric Myworld
I don't know the first thing about poetry, but I always enjoy stories told in poetic form, and about any type of poetry with some kind of rhyming pattern. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2022
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I don't know the first thing about poetry, but I always enjoy stories told in poetic form, and about any type of poetry with some kind of rhyming pattern. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2022
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Thanks, Ric, for taking the time to read and review. I am glad you enjoyed my poetic love story.
Joan
Comment from lyenochka
I like how you capture a time period in your love poem. It tells a story of true love in the language of courts with ladies-in-waiting and knights. Thanks for sharing.
One suggestion:
My heart sung loudly (sang) or 'had sung'
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2022
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I like how you capture a time period in your love poem. It tells a story of true love in the language of courts with ladies-in-waiting and knights. Thanks for sharing.
One suggestion:
My heart sung loudly (sang) or 'had sung'
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2022
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Thanks for the nice review and the editing help. I appreciate both. I am glad you liked it.
Joan
Comment from nomi338
This is a bitter reminder that although war is sometimes necessary, it is always unwelcomed. A taker away of love and support, it creates widows, orphans and men crippled by wounds and troubled memories. War is not a friend of any man who has hold of his sanity.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2022
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This is a bitter reminder that although war is sometimes necessary, it is always unwelcomed. A taker away of love and support, it creates widows, orphans and men crippled by wounds and troubled memories. War is not a friend of any man who has hold of his sanity.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2022
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Thanks for the insightful comments and high rating, Nomi.
I totally agree you about war.
Joan
Comment from Marienkiefer
A bittersweet remembrance.
-You have achieved great flow in this poem.
Interesting comparison and metaphor of budding roses, flowers.
-Nice word selection in rhyme.
Sparkling in your poem: emotions, sentimentality and as well as themes conveyed on country, fighting spirit and love.
I enjoyed reading your work.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2022
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A bittersweet remembrance.
-You have achieved great flow in this poem.
Interesting comparison and metaphor of budding roses, flowers.
-Nice word selection in rhyme.
Sparkling in your poem: emotions, sentimentality and as well as themes conveyed on country, fighting spirit and love.
I enjoyed reading your work.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2022
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Thank you, Marie, for your thorouogh and encouraging review.
Joan
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I enjoyed this poem that tells a sombre tale.
I could feel the pain come through your writing.
You write with honesty, longing and pure emotion. All of this makes for a moving verse.
The rhymes work well here without force.
Keep writing and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2022
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I enjoyed this poem that tells a sombre tale.
I could feel the pain come through your writing.
You write with honesty, longing and pure emotion. All of this makes for a moving verse.
The rhymes work well here without force.
Keep writing and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2022
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Hi KL,
Thanks for the words of encouragement and high rating. Both are much appreciated.
Joan
Comment from Alyssa Wilson
I enjoyed this piece, but need clarification:
Did she die? Was her castle dismantled and abandoned so now he just doesn't know where to find her?
I would also say I think the language needs double checked to make sure it's consistent. If you're using the ole ye' type language I would use it everywhere applicable in the work.
Great job. Thank you!
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2022
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I enjoyed this piece, but need clarification:
Did she die? Was her castle dismantled and abandoned so now he just doesn't know where to find her?
I would also say I think the language needs double checked to make sure it's consistent. If you're using the ole ye' type language I would use it everywhere applicable in the work.
Great job. Thank you!
Comment Written 15-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2022
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Thanks for your review, Alyssa. I will check the language. I was thinking he died at war and she is morning him. I was alluding that the flower died when he did.
Joan
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job, DP, with your contest entry. I enjoyed reading it. Your story of true love reads well. Your rhymes are good--not sure about words/swords. Your story poem is bittersweet--true love, war, loss, and finally realization that she will never see him again although he is forever in her heart. Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 04-May-2020
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You did a great job, DP, with your contest entry. I enjoyed reading it. Your story of true love reads well. Your rhymes are good--not sure about words/swords. Your story poem is bittersweet--true love, war, loss, and finally realization that she will never see him again although he is forever in her heart. Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 04-May-2020
reply by the author on 04-May-2020
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Thanks for the thorough review. I was hoping for a slant rhyme with words and swords. Glad you liked this old poem.
Joan
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You may be ok. I'll leave it to the judges.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-You have written a
good story and poem, Joan.
-It flows well with good
imagery and rhyme.
-I like how the rose becomes
a symbol for two different reasons.
-In the beginning, there is
that special love that is blooming,
and hearts are glad.
-But the war interferes, yet
he hands you a pink bud,
and is optimistic about his return.
-But that isn't to be, and now
you have his love tucked safely in your heart.
-Very well done; good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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-You have written a
good story and poem, Joan.
-It flows well with good
imagery and rhyme.
-I like how the rose becomes
a symbol for two different reasons.
-In the beginning, there is
that special love that is blooming,
and hearts are glad.
-But the war interferes, yet
he hands you a pink bud,
and is optimistic about his return.
-But that isn't to be, and now
you have his love tucked safely in your heart.
-Very well done; good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-May-2020
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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Thanks for reading and reviewing. Happy you liked it so much.
Joan
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You are very welcome, Joan, it was a very good poem.
Comment from jenintorre
This is such a beautiful and heart rending poem. I really enjoyed reading it. I think it should do well in the competition. Good luck a d best wishes. Jen.
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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This is such a beautiful and heart rending poem. I really enjoyed reading it. I think it should do well in the competition. Good luck a d best wishes. Jen.
Comment Written 02-May-2020
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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Thank you, Jen. I appreciate your encouraging comments.
Joan
