I and my husband, Robert
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Robert always wanted to be a lawyer."A prayer, then the walk through our marriage.
20 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written heartfelt poem. It is sad when parents treat their children worse than animals and refuse to allow their children to follow their dreams that will make them happy.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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A very well-written heartfelt poem. It is sad when parents treat their children worse than animals and refuse to allow their children to follow their dreams that will make them happy.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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thanks for your kind review, ine. have a great second part of the week.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good submission for the 'The Life He Almost Lived' writing prompt.
Well done, your story is well told. A sorry story related in memorandum.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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I think this is a good submission for the 'The Life He Almost Lived' writing prompt.
Well done, your story is well told. A sorry story related in memorandum.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 08-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week.
Comment from wordsfromsue
This is so sad. Different things about it: his father, for whatever reason, thinking that it was okay to abuse his child, the person he was supposed to love and protect.
And then your husband, never knowing the joy of at least chasing his dream, to see if he could do it.
You conveyed the prompt well regarding what he wanted to do, but what he did instead.
Wish I could give him a hug.
One possible correction: take out the (also) before battered, as I didn't see a first action on the dad's part listed beforehand.
Nice work.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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This is so sad. Different things about it: his father, for whatever reason, thinking that it was okay to abuse his child, the person he was supposed to love and protect.
And then your husband, never knowing the joy of at least chasing his dream, to see if he could do it.
You conveyed the prompt well regarding what he wanted to do, but what he did instead.
Wish I could give him a hug.
One possible correction: take out the (also) before battered, as I didn't see a first action on the dad's part listed beforehand.
Nice work.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Poet (-wink-)
We've all read many times about your poor husband and his thwarted dreams. I had the same thing happen when I was younger so I can KINDA relate. I wanted to go to college for elementary teaching but my dad said absolutely not. If he was paying for it, I would major in Human Resource Management and minor in Computer Sciences. Turns out that he knew me better than I knew myself, but at the time, I was so disgusted and disappointed, that I dropped out of school.
--sigh-- I'm sorry for your husband. Glad he was able to find a way to be content and successful. Sounds like a super guy.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Dear Mystery Poet (-wink-)
We've all read many times about your poor husband and his thwarted dreams. I had the same thing happen when I was younger so I can KINDA relate. I wanted to go to college for elementary teaching but my dad said absolutely not. If he was paying for it, I would major in Human Resource Management and minor in Computer Sciences. Turns out that he knew me better than I knew myself, but at the time, I was so disgusted and disappointed, that I dropped out of school.
--sigh-- I'm sorry for your husband. Glad he was able to find a way to be content and successful. Sounds like a super guy.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week.
Comment from kiwisteveh
This is quite a personal poem and perfectly illustrates the prompt wit its sad story of your husband, fated to abandon the career he really wanted.
Although you narrate his story clearly, I have awarded four stars because I see nothing particularly 'poetic' in your words - there seems to be no passion or feeling for your husband's predicament. I wonder if you could have tackled this in a different way by trying to get inside his mind more and expressing his frustration and anger.
The 'as you probably know' in the first line is also somewhat of a distraction - it is a case of the author addressing the reader directly which takes them out of the story being told.
Good luck in the contest.
Steve
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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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This is quite a personal poem and perfectly illustrates the prompt wit its sad story of your husband, fated to abandon the career he really wanted.
Although you narrate his story clearly, I have awarded four stars because I see nothing particularly 'poetic' in your words - there seems to be no passion or feeling for your husband's predicament. I wonder if you could have tackled this in a different way by trying to get inside his mind more and expressing his frustration and anger.
The 'as you probably know' in the first line is also somewhat of a distraction - it is a case of the author addressing the reader directly which takes them out of the story being told.
Good luck in the contest.
Steve
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week.
Comment from writerjen
Sad free verse poem, but a story worth telling. This is a good contest entry, it seems to fit the requirements well. I'm sure it's helpful for you to tell his story. So many people don't do what they really like in their life. Thanks for telling your husband's story. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Sad free verse poem, but a story worth telling. This is a good contest entry, it seems to fit the requirements well. I'm sure it's helpful for you to tell his story. So many people don't do what they really like in their life. Thanks for telling your husband's story. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week.
Comment from Dean Kuch
When we have to "settle" for a job just to make ends meet rather than working at something we love to do or always wanted to become, we're never happy, Ine.
But, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do to provide for his family.
Good luck in the contest.
~Dean
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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When we have to "settle" for a job just to make ends meet rather than working at something we love to do or always wanted to become, we're never happy, Ine.
But, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do to provide for his family.
Good luck in the contest.
~Dean
Comment Written 08-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a sad poem, but we can always change our course of direction in life at anytime in our lives if we are unhappy, I suspect your husband did a good job because he enjoyed it, but you know the truth, I am sorry for your loss and you remember your husband fondly, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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This is a sad poem, but we can always change our course of direction in life at anytime in our lives if we are unhappy, I suspect your husband did a good job because he enjoyed it, but you know the truth, I am sorry for your loss and you remember your husband fondly, love Dolly x
Comment Written 08-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements nicely as you recount what he had always wanted to be but was prevented from attaining in this life. Maybe he is now defending the sinners at heaven's door and got his wish after all :). All the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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This meets the contest requirements nicely as you recount what he had always wanted to be but was prevented from attaining in this life. Maybe he is now defending the sinners at heaven's door and got his wish after all :). All the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week.
Comment from royowen
I frowned internally as I read this Ine. My heart cries for three dear folk that have been abused by nasty fathers who beat their kids senseless. Beautifully written my friend, and once again, you write about it all you want, great therapy for you and us.well done, blessings, Roy
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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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I frowned internally as I read this Ine. My heart cries for three dear folk that have been abused by nasty fathers who beat their kids senseless. Beautifully written my friend, and once again, you write about it all you want, great therapy for you and us.well done, blessings, Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week.
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Most welcome
