The Homecoming
Sometimes things do go bump in the night.16 total reviews
Comment from Rasmine
Wow! You had me from the beginning. I liked the description of the candy dish and glass unicorn. Going fishing with grandpa and baking cookies with Grandma sound so sweet. I really miss mine.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Wow! You had me from the beginning. I liked the description of the candy dish and glass unicorn. Going fishing with grandpa and baking cookies with Grandma sound so sweet. I really miss mine.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on my story. Glad you liked it. Have a great week.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello sherrygreywolf
I'm so glad I spotted your Horror contest entry
I like the introduction of how you lured me to find out what the horror was going to be
Well I found out.
no more to be said, all I know your entry must be read by others reviewers.
Gert
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Hello sherrygreywolf
I'm so glad I spotted your Horror contest entry
I like the introduction of how you lured me to find out what the horror was going to be
Well I found out.
no more to be said, all I know your entry must be read by others reviewers.
Gert
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Thanks, Gert, for taking the time to read and comment on my story. Glad you liked it. Have a safe New Year's Eve and try to stay warm.
Comment from sibhus
listening (to) her parents
A good short piece. The details were very good and gave a wonderful sense of your setting. It has had a good flow that made for a good read. I also your build up and feeling of looming dread worked very well.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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listening (to) her parents
A good short piece. The details were very good and gave a wonderful sense of your setting. It has had a good flow that made for a good read. I also your build up and feeling of looming dread worked very well.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my story. And thanks for the "catch". I'd seen that too but I don't think I can edit it until the contest is over. I appreciate your other comments, as well. Have a safe New Year's Eve and try to stay warm.
Comment from oliver818
This is a great story. Poor girl. I like the way you set it up, with everyone telling her it's fake but actually it was real. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day. Best of luck with the competition.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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This is a great story. Poor girl. I like the way you set it up, with everyone telling her it's fake but actually it was real. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day. Best of luck with the competition.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on my story. Have a safe New Year's Eve and try to stay warm.
Comment from c_lucas
The mind will do more damage then in visible monsters. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read. There is good imagery. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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The mind will do more damage then in visible monsters. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read. There is good imagery. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. Have a great weekend and a warm and safe New Year's Eve.
Comment from robyn corum
Sherry,
Hey! Welcome home~!
Ummm... yuck. No thank you, I think. *smile* But this premise does make for an interesting story-line. I wish we had more information about these creatures or where they came from...
But I enjoyed. Good luck!
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Sherry,
Hey! Welcome home~!
Ummm... yuck. No thank you, I think. *smile* But this premise does make for an interesting story-line. I wish we had more information about these creatures or where they came from...
But I enjoyed. Good luck!
Comment Written 30-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Evening Robyn - thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment on my story. And yes, I plan on expanding this into a little longer piece. I saw the contest late and didn't have much time to work on this (finished it and got it posted about a minute and a half before the deadline - lol). Glad you enjoyed it and I'll let you know when I post the longer version.
Comment from Dan Diego
I loved the premise of this story - a woman returns to her childhood home and the terror resumes. There are certainly elements of horror in this narrative. I thought the flow was evenly paced and the horror well-described. You chose third person point of view. It worked fine. But I wondered if you considered first person? Either way, I finished this with a shiver and wondered what happened next. And that is the goal of horror writing. Great job.
Between the fourth and fifth paragraphs, I think I see an errant punctuation mark. It looks like an open single quote mark. Other than that, I didn't really inspect for spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors. You seemed to be well in charge of this narrative. Good luck. I hope this gets read.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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I loved the premise of this story - a woman returns to her childhood home and the terror resumes. There are certainly elements of horror in this narrative. I thought the flow was evenly paced and the horror well-described. You chose third person point of view. It worked fine. But I wondered if you considered first person? Either way, I finished this with a shiver and wondered what happened next. And that is the goal of horror writing. Great job.
Between the fourth and fifth paragraphs, I think I see an errant punctuation mark. It looks like an open single quote mark. Other than that, I didn't really inspect for spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors. You seemed to be well in charge of this narrative. Good luck. I hope this gets read.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my story. Especially appreciate you pointing out some things I missed. I'll take a look at that after the contest ends. Have a warm and safe New Years!
Comment from Sasha
This is an excellent entry for this contest. Strong, scary imagery and an ending I was not expecting. I sincerely wish you all the best in this contest. I didn't see any spags. Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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This is an excellent entry for this contest. Strong, scary imagery and an ending I was not expecting. I sincerely wish you all the best in this contest. I didn't see any spags. Very nicely done.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my story. Always glad to hear that I managed to surprise people by the ending. Have a nice weekend and a warm and safe New Year's Eve.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written horror poem. A childhood fear that was seen as imagination at the time. Is still alive twenty years later. It seems the crratures were waiting for her homecoming.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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A very well-written horror poem. A childhood fear that was seen as imagination at the time. Is still alive twenty years later. It seems the crratures were waiting for her homecoming.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Evening, Sandra. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my story. Have a great weekend and a warm and safe New Year's Eve.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks about the poor, wretched condition and pathetic environment and inadequate space how awkwardly and unhappily in a horrendous state author's grandparents live in the house; I liked. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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This speaks about the poor, wretched condition and pathetic environment and inadequate space how awkwardly and unhappily in a horrendous state author's grandparents live in the house; I liked. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 30-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Thanks for much for taking the time to read and comment on my story. Always like hearing that someone enjoyed my work. Have a nice weekend and a warm and safe New Year's Eve.