The Real Deal
A woman's world is changed by a single act of kindness.39 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Rhonda
I wish I had read you excellent story about how your character changed her depressed felling to the felling of
joy by her act of kindness.
My thought
Don't we wish the entire human race be kind
without their restless and faithless mind
all through the year.
Gert
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Hello Rhonda
I wish I had read you excellent story about how your character changed her depressed felling to the felling of
joy by her act of kindness.
My thought
Don't we wish the entire human race be kind
without their restless and faithless mind
all through the year.
Gert
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Yes, I wish they would. The world would be a better place. Thanks for taking the time to read and review.
Take care,
Rhonda
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You are welcome Ronda
Gert
Comment from BeasPeas
A very good write. Doing good deeds for others and/or just a simple kindness makes the giver as well as the "getter" feel more positive and happy. I enjoyed reading your nice story. Marilyn
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2017
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A very good write. Doing good deeds for others and/or just a simple kindness makes the giver as well as the "getter" feel more positive and happy. I enjoyed reading your nice story. Marilyn
Comment Written 28-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2017
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Thank you, Marilyn! I'm so glad you stopped by to read it. I was trying to think outside the box for a Christmas story.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Ricky1024
The real deal was very well written rich and Tina's was imagery it read well flow well no grammar issue so to speak objective and subjective contents were firmly in place and excellent scripted measures aligned perfectly thanks for this doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2017
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The real deal was very well written rich and Tina's was imagery it read well flow well no grammar issue so to speak objective and subjective contents were firmly in place and excellent scripted measures aligned perfectly thanks for this doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 25-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2017
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Thank you for the wonderful comments. I hope you have a wonderful time in this Holiday season!
Rhonda
Comment from Angela VA
Nice! This is a sweet story that is great for the season. I like how you filled out the story with Suzette's background, career, state of mind, and implied singleness. In the end, she felt seen and loved and she found hope. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2017
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Nice! This is a sweet story that is great for the season. I like how you filled out the story with Suzette's background, career, state of mind, and implied singleness. In the end, she felt seen and loved and she found hope. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2017
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Thank you, Angela. You pretty much summed the whole thing up nicely.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Poetic Friend
This story captures the true meaning and spirit of Christmas. I like that the spirit took her to place of merry nostalgic moments.
Also, this story also conveys the message: regardless of how gloom things may seem, there are always reasons to count your blessings.
I love this story. I hope it does well in the contest.
Happy holidays!
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2017
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This story captures the true meaning and spirit of Christmas. I like that the spirit took her to place of merry nostalgic moments.
Also, this story also conveys the message: regardless of how gloom things may seem, there are always reasons to count your blessings.
I love this story. I hope it does well in the contest.
Happy holidays!
Comment Written 22-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much, my friend. It was a journey to write, if that makes sense.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from prettybluebirds
Such a lovely and touching story. It is perfect for the true meaning of Christmas. I tend to get depressed myself when I see all the crazy people in stores shoving and pushing to get the sale items. It is disgusting. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2017
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Such a lovely and touching story. It is perfect for the true meaning of Christmas. I tend to get depressed myself when I see all the crazy people in stores shoving and pushing to get the sale items. It is disgusting. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2017
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Thank you for the beautiful review! I was trying to show that side of Christmas, and about how some people get too caught up in their own pain that they forget the pain of others.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from F. Wehr3
Great Christmas story, Rhonda! I enjoyed this one immensely. I found a couple of things for your consideration.
Her cell phone had died that morning for no apparent reason, she was thirty four-years-old with no husband or children, and she worked as a kindergarten teacher in inner city Dallas.--I know you're trying to make a list with this one, but you have three complete sentences. Suggest period after reason and start new sentence with She. You might also want to take a look at the number of times you start a sentence with she.
she quoted, and closed the book.--No comma. She performs two actions.
Good luck in the contest,
Russell
Happiness, or, at the very least contentment, should have been hers.--I would suggest no comma after or. This is because you want the sentence to read: Happiness should have been hers.
Then there was the fact she was thirty four-years-old with no husband or children, and worked in inner city Dallas as a kindergarten teacher.--Kind of the same thing as above. It's an inflection, an aside, or a parenthetical expression ( extra information non-essential to the sentence). Suggest a comma after old.
Good luck!
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2017
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Great Christmas story, Rhonda! I enjoyed this one immensely. I found a couple of things for your consideration.
Her cell phone had died that morning for no apparent reason, she was thirty four-years-old with no husband or children, and she worked as a kindergarten teacher in inner city Dallas.--I know you're trying to make a list with this one, but you have three complete sentences. Suggest period after reason and start new sentence with She. You might also want to take a look at the number of times you start a sentence with she.
she quoted, and closed the book.--No comma. She performs two actions.
Good luck in the contest,
Russell
Happiness, or, at the very least contentment, should have been hers.--I would suggest no comma after or. This is because you want the sentence to read: Happiness should have been hers.
Then there was the fact she was thirty four-years-old with no husband or children, and worked in inner city Dallas as a kindergarten teacher.--Kind of the same thing as above. It's an inflection, an aside, or a parenthetical expression ( extra information non-essential to the sentence). Suggest a comma after old.
Good luck!
Comment Written 20-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2017
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All great ideas, Russell. I'll go back and fix them. Thanks for the six stars and the suggestions. All so very welcome, my friend!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from mbroyles2
What a delightful and encouraging story.
Christmas is definitely a wonderful time of year and the "healing" process of the true spirit works magic both for Santa and Suzette.
Great writing!
Michael
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2017
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What a delightful and encouraging story.
Christmas is definitely a wonderful time of year and the "healing" process of the true spirit works magic both for Santa and Suzette.
Great writing!
Michael
Comment Written 20-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2017
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Thank you, Michael. It's good to hear from you, and I appreciate the warm review.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A wonderful story, Rhonda.
-It flows well from beginning to end,
with so many good messages, as well.
-I think Suzette probably represents
many people like her.
-One example is trying to think positive
thoughts when you're just having a bad day!
-There are also some excellent quotes that
show the true meaning of Christmas:
"Sometimes all it takes is one act of kindness to restore many offenses of hurt."
"Now go and help others. You might just find yourself healed in the process. Such is the way of the world. Such is the Spirit of Christmas."
-Not only do I wish you well in the contest, but most importantly, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and joyous New Year, my friend.
-One very small thing: "In start contrast to his powerful build..."
[In stark contrast?]
[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Photos*]
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2017
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-A wonderful story, Rhonda.
-It flows well from beginning to end,
with so many good messages, as well.
-I think Suzette probably represents
many people like her.
-One example is trying to think positive
thoughts when you're just having a bad day!
-There are also some excellent quotes that
show the true meaning of Christmas:
"Sometimes all it takes is one act of kindness to restore many offenses of hurt."
"Now go and help others. You might just find yourself healed in the process. Such is the way of the world. Such is the Spirit of Christmas."
-Not only do I wish you well in the contest, but most importantly, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and joyous New Year, my friend.
-One very small thing: "In start contrast to his powerful build..."
[In stark contrast?]
[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Photos*]
Comment Written 19-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2017
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Pam, thank you for the wonderful 6 stars. You have brightened my day in a special way.
I tried other things rather than "stark contrast", but wasn't sure any sounded better. Any ideas??
Thank you for all your thoughts on this. It is so very helpful.
Take care,
Rhonda
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You are very welcome for the stars and glad they brightened your day, Rhonda. A good place to find synonyms is rhymezone.com It is a great site with all kinds of options, like synonyms, rhyme, and much more. I looked quickly and "striking" came to mind. You are very welcome for the thoughts. Great story!
Comment from rspoet
Hello Rhonda,
What a wonderful story of how kindness can change people
and indeed, change the world.
The spirit of Christmas lives within all of us
we simply have to be open to it.
The mere fact that she stopped to see if she could help
sets her apart from many.
Excellent development of the theme
Even the cell phone (and I don't like cell phones) lol
Well done
I hope you win!
RS
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2017
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Hello Rhonda,
What a wonderful story of how kindness can change people
and indeed, change the world.
The spirit of Christmas lives within all of us
we simply have to be open to it.
The mere fact that she stopped to see if she could help
sets her apart from many.
Excellent development of the theme
Even the cell phone (and I don't like cell phones) lol
Well done
I hope you win!
RS
Comment Written 19-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much, my friend, for the six stars and the marvelous review.
When I started this, I wanted to send a message, and didn't think it would have much of a reception since it's non-traditional, but I think it spoke to people in a way I hadn't expected. I'm so very glad it did.
Take care,
Rhonda
