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Worlds

Viewing comments for Chapter 222 "Aardvark World 7"
Animal poetry and short stories

15 total reviews 
Comment from brenda faye curtis
Excellent
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You've fleshed out the story more with the added element of genetic development (no, rhyme not really intended). The script is getting more interesting, and your cliffhanger at the end is effective.

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
    Thanks, Brenda
reply by brenda faye curtis on 08-Dec-2017
    You're welcome.
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
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It was good to learn that the humanoid animals had taken over a century to develop and were investigating Pluto. I liked your references to several popular movies and the dialog. More smiles- Joan

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
    Thanks, Joan
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
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I feel so much better now that I know that you are going to continue this story. It seems that Father Bear is acting like so many other parents, anybody but my child. Rare is the parent willing to allow their child to venture out into the unknown.

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
    He should have added not to volunteer for dangerous missions to his list of DON'Ts.
Comment from apky
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Professor Gorilla's last remark regarding an explanation, sounded as civil servant as they come!

I'm still having a great time with this, and almost there in transcribing Bear's accent on my word processor!

I had a huge grin at this one, Bill:
Similar, perhaps, to ice cubes melting on one's navel or other area of the skin's surface, all at once, and not in an enjoyable way?

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
    I hope this ends well. This is Aardvark 's World so I guess he needs to be a part of wherever we're going.
    Thank you for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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He's right that Pluto is colllddd... shudder. Not my first choice, nor theirs, but it's the only one left. I love Plan 9 from Outer Space... so funny! I must have watched it four times over the years. :)

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
    Ed Wood came up in conversation the other day as someone was discussing bad movies with cult followings.
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
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Another fascinating chapter, Bill. Uh oh, the plot is thickening because any time there's a secret it usually means bad news for the ones kept out of the secret.

Looking forward to where this goes next.

Gloria

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 02-Dec-2017
    Thanks, Gloria. I've changed some dialogue to make the captain seem more informed about the secret mission.
Comment from pbomar1115
Excellent
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Isn't it always the way? The leader, the one who called the meeting, Captain Lion is the last to know the particulars of the meeting. Now, what will he do? Hopefully, I will learn that in the next scene.

Phillip

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 02-Dec-2017
    That's a great point, Phillip. I've reassigned some dialog to get the skipper up to speed. Thanks.
reply by pbomar1115 on 03-Dec-2017
    No, no, no, Bill. I'm not making any corrections, but if you see where my review helps then that's ok. Write what you think. I get ideas from reviews too. Sometimes they help my story goal and sometimes not. Do what you what.

    Phillip
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
    Too late; changed it!!
reply by pbomar1115 on 03-Dec-2017
    It was up to you, my friend.

    Phillip
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
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Good job on this, Bill. As a matter of fact, I may be the only person on the planet (except perhaps you) who actually has a VHS tape of "Attack of The Killer Tomatoes." It's on the bookshelf next to me as I type this.

There is a slight typo here: "other area (areas) of the skin's surface, all at once, and not in an enjoyable way?"
Marilyn

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 02-Dec-2017
    I see your point on the 'area' use, but feel that my intention was suggestive of a specific area as opposed to anywhere. Otherwise I'd agree wholeheartedly.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Lol. Suspense. I can't imagine the need for such secrecy but we will know in the next episode. I did watch Plan 9 from Outer Space. I don't remember a thing except that we watched it because of the Ed Wood movie.

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 02-Dec-2017
    Thanks, Helen, for giving this a look. Things have changed in the future. There is no trust, unlike now. Things may get better though. (In the future; for now we're SOL.)
Comment from Sharon Haiste
Excellent
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Another good chapter in your Aardvark tale.
I think that you are having fun with this one, yes?
Well done.
I'm looking forward to the next bit.
Sharon

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 02-Dec-2017
    Thanks, Sharon.