Our marriage
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "We did not date, but got engaged."Short book about how our marriage started.
13 total reviews
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
Finding true love is an amazing thing. Will and I are complete opposites. He grew up with vegetables at every meal where I did not. I grew up surviving through sexual abuse where he did not. But it's about accepting each other like you and Robert did. I love it
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Finding true love is an amazing thing. Will and I are complete opposites. He grew up with vegetables at every meal where I did not. I grew up surviving through sexual abuse where he did not. But it's about accepting each other like you and Robert did. I love it
Comment Written 28-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your kid review, Ine. Have a great second part of the week.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
My husband I Scottish and after a very brief meeting 9two days) we had decided to get engaged, we didn't want to waste time, my mother and father were the same. A brilliant write I am so happy for you. One nit: It is 'hell breaks' loose rather than 'Brakes'. I wish you a very happy marriage so sweet love and regards Meia xx
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2018
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My husband I Scottish and after a very brief meeting 9two days) we had decided to get engaged, we didn't want to waste time, my mother and father were the same. A brilliant write I am so happy for you. One nit: It is 'hell breaks' loose rather than 'Brakes'. I wish you a very happy marriage so sweet love and regards Meia xx
Comment Written 24-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a lovely and blessed Sunday. Thanks for the tip.
Comment from Pamusart
"A none of my friends could go at the time I had planned for this holiday, I was forced to go by". Should start with As none
"from the shop. I threatened to loose my temper." Should be lose
"that his education was no good enough." Should be not
"When I asked hid sister she'd go completely ballistic. She is a fat pig, so different from Robert. She was hid father's favourite though. His father even tried to get her on a private school. Thy would not take her."
Several typos; hid, her on rather than in, Thy instead if they
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Tomorrow, Hell brakes loose, if I can't see him."
Should be breaks
If I were you, I would fix these errors. Especially since this is a contest entry. Good luck in the contest. Thank you fir sharing
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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"A none of my friends could go at the time I had planned for this holiday, I was forced to go by". Should start with As none
"from the shop. I threatened to loose my temper." Should be lose
"that his education was no good enough." Should be not
"When I asked hid sister she'd go completely ballistic. She is a fat pig, so different from Robert. She was hid father's favourite though. His father even tried to get her on a private school. Thy would not take her."
Several typos; hid, her on rather than in, Thy instead if they
"
Tomorrow, Hell brakes loose, if I can't see him."
Should be breaks
If I were you, I would fix these errors. Especially since this is a contest entry. Good luck in the contest. Thank you fir sharing
Comment Written 22-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great second part of the week. I will check it later, when the book is nearly ready.
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello, is anyone ever good enough for your daughter, hahaha
Good story for the 'dating romance' contest and best of luck with this story. I only noticed one thing:
Unfortunately for her(,) this stayed a one-off. And one-off is hyphenated, also, do you need to capitalize 'mum'? No other suggestions for improvement and thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Hello, is anyone ever good enough for your daughter, hahaha
Good story for the 'dating romance' contest and best of luck with this story. I only noticed one thing:
Unfortunately for her(,) this stayed a one-off. And one-off is hyphenated, also, do you need to capitalize 'mum'? No other suggestions for improvement and thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great second part of the week.
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The work reminisces a holiday trip of the protagonist that surprisingly made her skip dating and go straight for wedding.
The main character outlay comprise the protagonist, Robert, Brian and the Italian who fell by the way.
A scenario of contrasting families and individuals notwithstanding, the protagonist and Robert were able to sustain a flourishing and fulfilling union.
The work highlights their surprise meeting and how it eventually grew into a flourishing union.
Excellent work! Keep the flag flying!
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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The work reminisces a holiday trip of the protagonist that surprisingly made her skip dating and go straight for wedding.
The main character outlay comprise the protagonist, Robert, Brian and the Italian who fell by the way.
A scenario of contrasting families and individuals notwithstanding, the protagonist and Robert were able to sustain a flourishing and fulfilling union.
The work highlights their surprise meeting and how it eventually grew into a flourishing union.
Excellent work! Keep the flag flying!
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have great second part of the week.
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Keep on flourishing!
Comment from emptypage
Hi. There are two places in the same paragraph where you wrote "hid" instead of "his."
Some other things like "stayed a one off" I wasn't certain about...is this the way something would be said in the Netherlands, r do you mean something else? There are lots of places where I question this.
The story needs work, but could be good, with some editing and a plot.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Hi. There are two places in the same paragraph where you wrote "hid" instead of "his."
Some other things like "stayed a one off" I wasn't certain about...is this the way something would be said in the Netherlands, r do you mean something else? There are lots of places where I question this.
The story needs work, but could be good, with some editing and a plot.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Thank, Ine
Comment from Artasylum
Twenty two years of marriage for me. I completely identify with you character, good flow and form with this story. Nailed It. thanks, and I will be back
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Twenty two years of marriage for me. I completely identify with you character, good flow and form with this story. Nailed It. thanks, and I will be back
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week.
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YOU AS WELL
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi there;
This story reminded me of the stories my grandmother used to tell me. And then, it reminded me of my love story with my hubby. We've been together almost thirty-five years and we still joke that we only had one date.
We met on September 30th and went out for a date on October 7th. We got engaged on October 29th and married on December 16th. Some say it's a miracle we're still together. I say it was true love.
Thank you for sharing your story,
~patty~
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Hi there;
This story reminded me of the stories my grandmother used to tell me. And then, it reminded me of my love story with my hubby. We've been together almost thirty-five years and we still joke that we only had one date.
We met on September 30th and went out for a date on October 7th. We got engaged on October 29th and married on December 16th. Some say it's a miracle we're still together. I say it was true love.
Thank you for sharing your story,
~patty~
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is a marvelous contest entry. It is witty and thoroughly engaging from start to finish. I wish you the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2017
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This is a marvelous contest entry. It is witty and thoroughly engaging from start to finish. I wish you the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2017
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a lovely weekend and a blessed Sunday.
Comment from apky
I actually read this twice but I'm still not sure where you wanted to go with your, shall we say, love story. At times it is rather interesting, other times, vindictive, and yet other times downright, well unpleasant (e.g. about Robert's sister).
Below you need to do some line space formatting:
At night there was a hotel disco. I went down there as I liked and like dancing a lot. Here Robert approached me ( it turned out later he had already spotted me at breakfast time ). We fell for each other immediately. We danced some, had interest in several things. If looks could have killed The Italian bastard would have killed him, but he did not.
At the end of the evening Robert walked me back to my room. Now here our stories split or differ quit a bit. Robert claims, as I invited him in for coffee I seduced him.
My plain mind thinks no way, coffee is not an invitation for sleeping together. In his country it is also not that, there it means: please leave sometime soon.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2017
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I actually read this twice but I'm still not sure where you wanted to go with your, shall we say, love story. At times it is rather interesting, other times, vindictive, and yet other times downright, well unpleasant (e.g. about Robert's sister).
Below you need to do some line space formatting:
At night there was a hotel disco. I went down there as I liked and like dancing a lot. Here Robert approached me ( it turned out later he had already spotted me at breakfast time ). We fell for each other immediately. We danced some, had interest in several things. If looks could have killed The Italian bastard would have killed him, but he did not.
At the end of the evening Robert walked me back to my room. Now here our stories split or differ quit a bit. Robert claims, as I invited him in for coffee I seduced him.
My plain mind thinks no way, coffee is not an invitation for sleeping together. In his country it is also not that, there it means: please leave sometime soon.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2017
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine,. Have a great last part of the week.
