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Short Stories and Flash

Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Abigail Humphrey"
Misc Fiction

16 total reviews 
Comment from Sharon Haiste
Excellent
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Carried away or not it is interesting and a decent read.
It tells a good story.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Sharon

 Comment Written 15-Nov-2017

Comment from BOO ghost
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i kinda recall this story about the five year old that dialed 911. Her parents were wise to teach her how to dial 911 if something ever happened. Lot of information here and the hero grew up to a beautiful woman. Lots of stuff here that I like. Favorite words: She nodded towards a man in military garb, laden with medals and stripes. "I believe we need to assure the world, we are more than ready to defend our country against all contingencies. What do you suggest?"

 Comment Written 14-Nov-2017

Comment from Gloria ....
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a brilliant character study, Mav. I especially how you introduced Abigail's rebellious nature and her willingness to do what is right in dangerous situations in the opening paragraph. It worked out well and also demonstrated her bravery.

You've most subtly introduced physical characteristics through the application of makeup and at the same time illustrated that Abby is not given to mere physical vanities as show through her spoken thoughts to herself and her civic responsibilities.

It seems also that she is a natural leader, but not someone who deliberately seeks out high office for power grabbing.

You woven in a great amount of rich detail in a sensible and interesting narrative.

Super job with this. Maybe she'll save the world too!!

Ange


 Comment Written 14-Nov-2017

Comment from frierajac
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This is an interesting take on character building. I find it interesting because of
the use of the main character dreaming up her own future based upon one heroic action, or perhaps two. I suppose this is possible for even a politician. Some of whom seem to live in unreality quite a lot.

 Comment Written 14-Nov-2017

Comment from robina1978
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A very nice photo of a girl called Abigail. Did she really achieve all this from an extremely young age till adulthood. I understand you got carried away. You wrote it for the Character Building event I the 'Not a flash in the Pan.' I enjoyed the read and reviewing. Best wishes for this challenge. No changes needed.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2017

Comment from artemis53
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I could've read on, my dear specter. When you are elevated due to your deeds it's like walking on coals without the water to diffuse the flames from your feet. few of the deserving can make it through the fame but, those who do elevate us all.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2017

Comment from barbara.wilkey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I enjoyed reading this post. You have a very interesting perspective and a fun way of presenting the facts of a story. I think this post is extremely well written. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2017

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
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"I'm wasn't even used to being President" check this sentence...I'm wasn't doesn't sound right.

Hello, Michael,

I like your character study. Abigail is quite a lady. You did a good job developing her character. Well done.

Gypsy hugs

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2017

Comment from apky
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First of all, don't worry about the length - I read (and write much longer posts here a few times a day. I actually prefer them.

It's so important for every author to know their character's background. It gives us some of what formed him - whether as weak or strong or sensitive. While it's more work on the front end, it pays off in the form of higher reader satisfaction and a stronger empathy bond that can help build interest to carry them through to the very last page.

This is good work, Michael.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2017

Comment from nordicgirl
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I don't really know exactly what you're supposed to be doing here, but I totally enjoy what you ARE doing. A great story and not impossible in this crazy day and age. Lots to find out here and I HOPE you plan to tell me. The Prez, Vice Prez and down the line all wiped out, senators and who knows. Wow! Tell me more. NG

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2017