The Great Race
Jenny tries to prove she has what it takes to succeed.16 total reviews
Comment from robertwb
A fun tale of conflict and success. I admit I was a bit surprised at the ending. It felt as though you dropped in right in an intense moment. Will be looking forward to see what more is to come.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
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A fun tale of conflict and success. I admit I was a bit surprised at the ending. It felt as though you dropped in right in an intense moment. Will be looking forward to see what more is to come.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review. It was a fun write.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from MelB
Hi Rhonda, this is a great flash fiction piece. You did a great job of withholding the identity of the frogs until the ending!
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2017
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Hi Rhonda, this is a great flash fiction piece. You did a great job of withholding the identity of the frogs until the ending!
Comment Written 14-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2017
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Thank you! It was a silly little thing, but it got me back in here writing, and that was fun!
Comment from robyn corum
Rhonda!
What a fun piece -- you totally had me going. Thought this was about a lady bank robber - was that your intention? *smile* Anyway, it was a great story and good fun. Good luck!
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2017
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Rhonda!
What a fun piece -- you totally had me going. Thought this was about a lady bank robber - was that your intention? *smile* Anyway, it was a great story and good fun. Good luck!
Comment Written 14-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2017
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Yes, I was trying to make it seem that way, but twisted in the end. Great job of catching to drift...
Comment from Chrissy710
Hi Rhonda, Congratulations on you second place with me . What fun and you must be in it to win it and your strory had all the elements and a surprise ending. Jenny did well for a frog. Made me think before I worked it out. Cheers Christine
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2017
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Hi Rhonda, Congratulations on you second place with me . What fun and you must be in it to win it and your strory had all the elements and a surprise ending. Jenny did well for a frog. Made me think before I worked it out. Cheers Christine
Comment Written 14-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2017
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Thank you, Chrissy. Congratulations to you, too! It was a fun contest!
Rhonda
Comment from mmonaghan777
You took it to the limit. The picture totally throws off the story line. I'm thinking money bank but when she slurped I had to say, what??
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
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You took it to the limit. The picture totally throws off the story line. I'm thinking money bank but when she slurped I had to say, what??
Comment Written 13-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
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I tried to find something more appropriate, but couldn't just find an obscure looking race, and to put a frog would have blown it right away. Thank you for your input!
Comment from Dean Kuch
I'm not sure what type of animal Jenny was, Anonymous Author, but I can tell you this much.
She wasn't a tortoise, that's for sure!
A rabbit, perhaps?
But rabbits don't eat insects, do they?
Some sort of water fowl, like a crane maybe?
Anyhow, frogs are sneaky--you gotta watch 'em.
They like to make you croak.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
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I'm not sure what type of animal Jenny was, Anonymous Author, but I can tell you this much.
She wasn't a tortoise, that's for sure!
A rabbit, perhaps?
But rabbits don't eat insects, do they?
Some sort of water fowl, like a crane maybe?
Anyhow, frogs are sneaky--you gotta watch 'em.
They like to make you croak.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
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She's a frog, too, my mysterious friend, just a girl one. Guess I should have made it more obvious. Oh well. I guess we can leave her a mystery creature.
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Oh, okay. I got ya. :)
Comment from emptypage
Well, I sure as heck wasn't counting on this ending, the great revelation enough to make me gag a little. Nice job with the surprise. And with the outside-the-box thinking. Great job.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
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Well, I sure as heck wasn't counting on this ending, the great revelation enough to make me gag a little. Nice job with the surprise. And with the outside-the-box thinking. Great job.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
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Thank you, my friend. I realize it was a little gross, but it did grab attention, especially from Feral, who, I think, went home and cooked up some grubs. haha.
Thanks for the review!
Comment from teols2016
Nice twist in the end there. I'm glad Jenny made it and in just a hundred words. Well done and best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
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Nice twist in the end there. I'm glad Jenny made it and in just a hundred words. Well done and best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
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Thank you for your great read and review. It's sort of fun to do the short ones. Kind of like a poem, but not. haha.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
This is a very good contest entry with an unexpected twist at the end. I love stories with a twist. All short stories should have a surprise ending. You provided that.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
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This is a very good contest entry with an unexpected twist at the end. I love stories with a twist. All short stories should have a surprise ending. You provided that.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
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Thank you, Thomas. It was fun, and that's half the reason we write, right?? I'm not too sure what the other half is, but oh well. Appreciate you!
Comment from rspoet
An excellent short story for the contest that satisfies all the requirements.
At least nobody croaked in the race to the bank.
Never underestimate girl power, regardless of species.
A nice switch at the last paragraph with the word play on "bank".
This should do well. You can bank on it.
Good luck in the voting.
RS
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
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An excellent short story for the contest that satisfies all the requirements.
At least nobody croaked in the race to the bank.
Never underestimate girl power, regardless of species.
A nice switch at the last paragraph with the word play on "bank".
This should do well. You can bank on it.
Good luck in the voting.
RS
Comment Written 12-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
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Thank you, my friend, for a hopping good six star review.
I love your sense of humor, and your play on words.
Bank, bank. You got it...
Yes, good thing no one croaked.
~anon