Been here. Done that.
Lonely vigil, being tested...4 total reviews
Comment from mmonaghan777
I would have never figured out the end. Never thought about a hospital or doctor's office setting. A great relief ending to so much tension. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2017
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I would have never figured out the end. Never thought about a hospital or doctor's office setting. A great relief ending to so much tension. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2017
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Thanks for your nice review. However, I don't think I will enter any more writing contests: I got 4 or 5 very nice reviews, but no votes! I think my writing is not for this venue. But, it felt good to write and I thought it one of my best works. Thanks again.
Comment from Sis Cat
You are right--sometimes we face the toughest moments alone even when others are close. Your 100 word story about a parent's vigil in the hospital engaged and riveted me. We follow a young man who paces all over what is apparently a hospital as he awaits the second test results of his daughter. I sense his nervousness and tension. He even blames himself,
(H)e moaned, "(W)hat did I do wrong?"
(Capitalization are suggested edits.)
Finally, refief arrives:
When a waiting room door opens, all inside look, all brace, all anticipate both the best and the worst simultaneously...
"Your daughter does not have Multiple Sclerosis..."
This is a finely crafted 100 story which improves on my second read as I study the work and creativity you put into it.
Thank you for sharing. I wish you contest success with your profound entry.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
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You are right--sometimes we face the toughest moments alone even when others are close. Your 100 word story about a parent's vigil in the hospital engaged and riveted me. We follow a young man who paces all over what is apparently a hospital as he awaits the second test results of his daughter. I sense his nervousness and tension. He even blames himself,
(H)e moaned, "(W)hat did I do wrong?"
(Capitalization are suggested edits.)
Finally, refief arrives:
When a waiting room door opens, all inside look, all brace, all anticipate both the best and the worst simultaneously...
"Your daughter does not have Multiple Sclerosis..."
This is a finely crafted 100 story which improves on my second read as I study the work and creativity you put into it.
Thank you for sharing. I wish you contest success with your profound entry.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
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Thank you, Sis Cat, for your enthusiastic review. All of us who write do so with the hope that we give the reader something to relate to, as well as, enjoyment of a moment reported in an interesting way. All of us who have been blessed with children have had (endured) similar moments. Being accused of being profound is indeed a rare treat! Best regards.
Comment from teols2016
Well, that's good news. Still, those pesky doctors do tend to keep people waiting. With that in mind, you did a great job building tension as you awaited the results. Well done and best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
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Well, that's good news. Still, those pesky doctors do tend to keep people waiting. With that in mind, you did a great job building tension as you awaited the results. Well done and best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
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Thank you, teols2016, for your enthusiastic review. All of us who write do so with the hope that we give the reader something to relate to, as well as, enjoyment of a moment reported in an interesting way. All of us who have been blessed with children have had (endured) similar moments. Best regards.
Comment from Paul Bownas
God bless you for the last sentence, which thankfully, wasn't a sentence at all. I am sure this is worth a five even if only for the Very Happy Ending! I liked the way the suspense built up and that we had no idea of the reason or the outcome till the last sentence. Well done!
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
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God bless you for the last sentence, which thankfully, wasn't a sentence at all. I am sure this is worth a five even if only for the Very Happy Ending! I liked the way the suspense built up and that we had no idea of the reason or the outcome till the last sentence. Well done!
Comment Written 11-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2017
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Thank you, Paul, for your enthusiastic review. All of us who write do so with the hope that we give the reader something to relate to, as well as, enjoyment of a moment reported in an interesting way. All of us who have been blessed with children have had (endured) similar moments. Best regards.
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I shall read it again .