A Letter To Saigon
A former soldier writes a letter66 total reviews
Comment from Mabaker
War takes boys and returns men. To what degree who knows. I have known grown men to cry like small boys at the memories of war. Some raise their heads proudly and shout loudly of their efforts while others cringe in fear at man-made Hell. Regards Mabaker.
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War takes boys and returns men. To what degree who knows. I have known grown men to cry like small boys at the memories of war. Some raise their heads proudly and shout loudly of their efforts while others cringe in fear at man-made Hell. Regards Mabaker.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2017
Comment from write hand blue
This is a great poem, the flow was such that although a rather long poem the end came all to soon. I like the lack of punctuation it helps the flow. Good story base from the pov of a soldier stationed in Korea.
Good poem.
~Mel~
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This is a great poem, the flow was such that although a rather long poem the end came all to soon. I like the lack of punctuation it helps the flow. Good story base from the pov of a soldier stationed in Korea.
Good poem.
~Mel~
Comment Written 31-Oct-2017
Comment from Ricky1024
Horizon gone to this very day almost 70 years later will probably result in our third world war if the idiot so deems of release another Atomic missile I'm sure president Trump is not going to take any more crap from them it'd be a shame to destroy the whole country of Korea with a nuclear bomb maybe we should use like a little mini bomb and just wipe out the area exactly where that idiot lives communism is another word for cruelty and in this day and age communist countries are changing they realize the error of their ways they realize their dominant rule in the end doesn't pay everybody deserves their freedom very well written dr. Ricky 1024
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Horizon gone to this very day almost 70 years later will probably result in our third world war if the idiot so deems of release another Atomic missile I'm sure president Trump is not going to take any more crap from them it'd be a shame to destroy the whole country of Korea with a nuclear bomb maybe we should use like a little mini bomb and just wipe out the area exactly where that idiot lives communism is another word for cruelty and in this day and age communist countries are changing they realize the error of their ways they realize their dominant rule in the end doesn't pay everybody deserves their freedom very well written dr. Ricky 1024
Comment Written 31-Oct-2017
Comment from B.B. Rose
Rather than an epistolary poem, this seemed like a rite of passage memory -- that longing for a time of "innocence" or, at least a time before war and death became the staple of the day. Your delineation of the how the simple pleasures of love and sex and an entire culture become corrupted as it was trapped by war was excellent.
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Rather than an epistolary poem, this seemed like a rite of passage memory -- that longing for a time of "innocence" or, at least a time before war and death became the staple of the day. Your delineation of the how the simple pleasures of love and sex and an entire culture become corrupted as it was trapped by war was excellent.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2017
Comment from Mimi Linny
This poetic letter is very nicely written, bringing back memories of years past. I loved the rhyming of the story and the rhythm of each stanza lends to a smooth and easy read. Great job!
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This poetic letter is very nicely written, bringing back memories of years past. I loved the rhyming of the story and the rhythm of each stanza lends to a smooth and easy read. Great job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2017
Comment from rama devi
Wow. THis is awesome. Captures the time and place and intensity of the scene. I like the short-line swift pace and it works fine without punctuation. Great rhymes and flow. Great POV and voicing. Great phonetics
Outstanding metaphor here:
And soon the sin
Of choices made
Joined in the din
Of war's grenade
Especially applaud the rhyme pairs of:
scent/orient
Saigon/rising-dawn
marines/machines
CIA's/ways
made/grenade
These are outstanding stanzas too:
The CIA's
Illicit games
Had changed their ways
To napalm flames
and
And you and I
Were losing heat
Which made each lie
One more defeat
Bravo. Another six.
Warmly,
Sis
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2017
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Wow. THis is awesome. Captures the time and place and intensity of the scene. I like the short-line swift pace and it works fine without punctuation. Great rhymes and flow. Great POV and voicing. Great phonetics
Outstanding metaphor here:
And soon the sin
Of choices made
Joined in the din
Of war's grenade
Especially applaud the rhyme pairs of:
scent/orient
Saigon/rising-dawn
marines/machines
CIA's/ways
made/grenade
These are outstanding stanzas too:
The CIA's
Illicit games
Had changed their ways
To napalm flames
and
And you and I
Were losing heat
Which made each lie
One more defeat
Bravo. Another six.
Warmly,
Sis
Comment Written 30-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2017
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I am so glad you enjoyed this trip down my long ago memory
lane. I don't know how I ended up with the unusual meter and
form but I think it worked well for this particular style. You've
made me very happy Sis and as you know I thank you from the
bottom of my old dogged (or doggerel if you choose) Vet who
still aches for friends lost and relationships over before they
ever got started. Thanks again. tom
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Thanks, dear Brother Tom! Living in the moment is the best way to be at peace...but that ache reminds you your heart's alive!
Love, rd
