Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

haha this is a good contest entry. I enjoyed it. Good job on the rhymes. One has to feel sorry for Freddy, right? Best wishes in the contest. Jan

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 12-Oct-2017

Not at all. He was a happy guy who loved his work. Thank you for the complimentary review, Jan. Much appreciated.

Comment from poetwatch

Excellent

The fifth line runs with this line, "If any saw the steaming Fred instead." I think (I don't know) you might improve it by placing between "any (,they) and saw. that line sounds a little bit bumpy. Otherwise you have a great poem. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 12-Oct-2017

Hi Poetwatch. It WAS bumpy, because I hadn't edited for punctuation before posting. It was supposed to connect with the following line. I corrected it to,
"None would guess what a happy life Fred led,
if any saw the steaming Fred instead. (There was another edit or two, too.)

Thanks for your alert reading and complimentary review.

reply by poetwatch on 12-Oct-2017

You can edit mine also. Many times I hit bumps in the way and I like to see.