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Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Voices Pt.1"A Romantic, Superhero-like, Geek Horror story.
30 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was excellent! What a nightmare that boy is living, and you can't run from the thoughts and voices in your head, they follow you everywhere. I hope the last sentence helps him. What would Superman do? I'll wait and see. Well done! Sandra xx
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2019
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That was excellent! What a nightmare that boy is living, and you can't run from the thoughts and voices in your head, they follow you everywhere. I hope the last sentence helps him. What would Superman do? I'll wait and see. Well done! Sandra xx
Comment Written 04-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2019
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Thank you! I appreciate your kind and helpful review along with the generous rating. Thanks for starting my day with a positive note!
Comment from Sylvia Page
This is a well-written post that conveys the boy's feelings and fears. It also gives the story another angle that his baby sister is being abused by his older brother and is supported by his father. He wants to protect her but is frozen in his fears for what might happen in his weakened capacity. Very well expressed. Thank you.
Sylvia
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2019
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This is a well-written post that conveys the boy's feelings and fears. It also gives the story another angle that his baby sister is being abused by his older brother and is supported by his father. He wants to protect her but is frozen in his fears for what might happen in his weakened capacity. Very well expressed. Thank you.
Sylvia
Comment Written 04-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2019
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Thank you! I appreciate your kind and helpful review along with the generous rating. Thanks for starting my day with a positive note!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Beautiful and intriguing story, I like how you put the bad and the good voice whispering on the boy's ear. Is this part of the step to adulthood? I really liked this part:
Whether this boy, who was no stranger to the uncertainty inside him, was prepared, or not, he would soon make a choice that would decide the fate of both his future, and the future of the world armed with only the lessons learned from his collection of superhero comic books.
"Are you scared...boy?" The shadow continues hissing.
Its voice changes to the familiar sound of his angry, older brother. "You are NOTHING, loser! You can't save her! You fail at EVERYTHING!"
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2019
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Beautiful and intriguing story, I like how you put the bad and the good voice whispering on the boy's ear. Is this part of the step to adulthood? I really liked this part:
Whether this boy, who was no stranger to the uncertainty inside him, was prepared, or not, he would soon make a choice that would decide the fate of both his future, and the future of the world armed with only the lessons learned from his collection of superhero comic books.
"Are you scared...boy?" The shadow continues hissing.
Its voice changes to the familiar sound of his angry, older brother. "You are NOTHING, loser! You can't save her! You fail at EVERYTHING!"
Comment Written 04-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2019
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Thank you! I appreciate your kind and helpful review along with the generous rating. Thanks for starting my day with a positive note!
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Fantastic thoughts, fantasy continues to grip over children, and some adventurous and fantasy loving boys still feel, as some go on collecting books on superheroes and the like, still the fantasy loving boys do not always recognise but keep waiting for such characters all their lives; well said, well done. Thanks for sharing; liked your excellent work; enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2019
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Fantastic thoughts, fantasy continues to grip over children, and some adventurous and fantasy loving boys still feel, as some go on collecting books on superheroes and the like, still the fantasy loving boys do not always recognise but keep waiting for such characters all their lives; well said, well done. Thanks for sharing; liked your excellent work; enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2019
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Thank you! I appreciate your kind and helpful review along with the generous rating. Thanks for starting my day with a positive note!
Comment from kahpot
" His gift maturing as himself" bloody wonderful and I haven't started yet, (The boys back tensely...) as this paragraph started with Eu Els name ( his back )- hope you do not mind my suggestions, I am just excited and think I'm helping? " fatal as is own denial"- again that wonderful use of words, forget my statement about the boy as it has become clear as I read on (apologizes) next chapter see you soon****kahpot
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" His gift maturing as himself" bloody wonderful and I haven't started yet, (The boys back tensely...) as this paragraph started with Eu Els name ( his back )- hope you do not mind my suggestions, I am just excited and think I'm helping? " fatal as is own denial"- again that wonderful use of words, forget my statement about the boy as it has become clear as I read on (apologizes) next chapter see you soon****kahpot
Comment Written 20-Aug-2018
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi there;
I found myself glued to the piece, as I read and followed the path his dream would lead him on. I loved the last line, as wondering about the actions of a superhero would be the best advice to get out of this dream,
Well done,
~patty~
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2017
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Hi there;
I found myself glued to the piece, as I read and followed the path his dream would lead him on. I loved the last line, as wondering about the actions of a superhero would be the best advice to get out of this dream,
Well done,
~patty~
Comment Written 12-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2017
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Thank you. I'm happy you were able to connect with this chapter.
Comment from royowen
What does one do when confronted by something as terrifying as what the boy is facing...I think I would do the same thing, do what the Hebrews did going into battle against immeasurable odds, singing the song of where their hope lay. Good scribing, with enough malevolent spiritual echo to be convincing. Well done, good scribing, blessings, Roy
Typo : your heartbeat boy, it('s) teases me.2: Whether(,) this boy...
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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What does one do when confronted by something as terrifying as what the boy is facing...I think I would do the same thing, do what the Hebrews did going into battle against immeasurable odds, singing the song of where their hope lay. Good scribing, with enough malevolent spiritual echo to be convincing. Well done, good scribing, blessings, Roy
Typo : your heartbeat boy, it('s) teases me.2: Whether(,) this boy...
Comment Written 11-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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Thank you. Your comment and supportive rating is what I needed to hear. Appreciate your corrections as well. Thank you again!
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Thank you. Your comment and supportive rating is what I needed to hear. Appreciate your corrections as well. Thank you again!
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Well done.
Comment from apky
I thoroughly enjoyed the chapter, and especially your incredible talent for description which puts the read right on the scene:
The lyrics resurface a kind of reminder that inspires hope, a vision of choice, and a lifelong burden of responsibility that would weigh upon Eu El's skinny shoulders...the same shoulders that struggled to complete a single pull-up in middle school gym class last year. Whether he was prepared, or not, this boy, who was no stranger to the uncertainty of himself each day, and armed only with the creativity of superhero stories from his vast comic book collection, would soon decide the fate of both his future, and tomorrow's world.
Great write.
Best,
Apky
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2017
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I thoroughly enjoyed the chapter, and especially your incredible talent for description which puts the read right on the scene:
The lyrics resurface a kind of reminder that inspires hope, a vision of choice, and a lifelong burden of responsibility that would weigh upon Eu El's skinny shoulders...the same shoulders that struggled to complete a single pull-up in middle school gym class last year. Whether he was prepared, or not, this boy, who was no stranger to the uncertainty of himself each day, and armed only with the creativity of superhero stories from his vast comic book collection, would soon decide the fate of both his future, and tomorrow's world.
Great write.
Best,
Apky
Comment Written 11-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2017
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Very touching comment. I'm flattered and happy that you were able to connect with this chapter. I hope you are able to reading my future chapters to this developing storyline.
Comment from Sanku
The apparition in the bedroom is frightning .but still it feels as if it is going to make him realise his potential.
the lines of old songs punctuating this narrative add etra eeriness to the story
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2017
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The apparition in the bedroom is frightning .but still it feels as if it is going to make him realise his potential.
the lines of old songs punctuating this narrative add etra eeriness to the story
Comment Written 11-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2017
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Very touching comment. I'm flattered and happy that you were able to connect with this chapter. I hope you are able to reading my future chapters to this developing storyline.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I have to admit to finding this strangely compelling. Something I can't quite put my finger on.
The tone is very good and although you tend to longer sentences, in this instalment they carry there meaning throughout, which is not easy.
He continues to singing to himself - delete the first 'to' here.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2017
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Hi there,
I have to admit to finding this strangely compelling. Something I can't quite put my finger on.
The tone is very good and although you tend to longer sentences, in this instalment they carry there meaning throughout, which is not easy.
He continues to singing to himself - delete the first 'to' here.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2017
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Thank you. I'm trying :) So glad you are taking the time to once again comment and read my chapters. :) i labor full time. By night, as long as I have caffeine in my system by the time I get home, I love to sit and type. Thank you again!
