The Eidolon
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Chapter 6 - Drew's Bedroom"Family heinously murdered. The question is by who?
11 total reviews
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Good morning, Brett: I was happy to see that you posted as we are getting deeper into what went on in Drew's mind. I am experiencing eager anticipation of what is going to happen next.
I love it how at first you mentioned that his findings made it seem that Drew Larsen was a normal. You mentioned some of the normal things that he possessed that many boys owned also.
"There was nothing to indicate Drew Larsen possessed a violent nature."
You then, described his check of Drew's computer and this is where it got creepy. I could feel Darden's shock turn to fear upon first finding the information in Drew's computer files about serial killers but especially Otis Jackson. He was the killer that he (Darden) killed. Then he finds his wife and children's photos among that file, also. This was when he really knew that this was about revenge on him
and then he gets the phone call.
What an intriguing story! I am enjoying this story, very interesting and very well written. This part also deserves a six. I have to learn to hold on to a few for you. You are an exceptional writer.
Hey, I re-promoted an old poem that I wrote, called "Still." When you have time go to my portfolio and check it out for me, let me know what you think.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Good morning, Brett: I was happy to see that you posted as we are getting deeper into what went on in Drew's mind. I am experiencing eager anticipation of what is going to happen next.
I love it how at first you mentioned that his findings made it seem that Drew Larsen was a normal. You mentioned some of the normal things that he possessed that many boys owned also.
"There was nothing to indicate Drew Larsen possessed a violent nature."
You then, described his check of Drew's computer and this is where it got creepy. I could feel Darden's shock turn to fear upon first finding the information in Drew's computer files about serial killers but especially Otis Jackson. He was the killer that he (Darden) killed. Then he finds his wife and children's photos among that file, also. This was when he really knew that this was about revenge on him
and then he gets the phone call.
What an intriguing story! I am enjoying this story, very interesting and very well written. This part also deserves a six. I have to learn to hold on to a few for you. You are an exceptional writer.
Hey, I re-promoted an old poem that I wrote, called "Still." When you have time go to my portfolio and check it out for me, let me know what you think.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Appreciate your insights.
Will review the request.
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Brett.
I reckon he might have something with the serial killer website and document.
Another very interesting and tense chapter, mate. Eerily suspenseful at the with the phone call.
Well done.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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G'day Brett.
I reckon he might have something with the serial killer website and document.
Another very interesting and tense chapter, mate. Eerily suspenseful at the with the phone call.
Well done.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 05-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
If it was tense then perhaps I accomplished my goal with it.
That was the atmosphere I attempted to create with this posting.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
OH wow you got my attention totally.
This is quite an addition to the mystery and I seem to be thinking hyptomysm for some reason. No problems noted and very well written
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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OH wow you got my attention totally.
This is quite an addition to the mystery and I seem to be thinking hyptomysm for some reason. No problems noted and very well written
Comment Written 04-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Wanted to delve some more into Drew's character.
Perhaps I achieved that goal here.
Comment from pbomar1115
The story warms to mystery and suspense. The murders take after the ones committed by Otis Jackson, who slaughtered a family. This information was found on Drew's computer.Then something unanticipated pops up, like the detective's first name, which Darden never shared with anyone.
Phillip
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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The story warms to mystery and suspense. The murders take after the ones committed by Otis Jackson, who slaughtered a family. This information was found on Drew's computer.Then something unanticipated pops up, like the detective's first name, which Darden never shared with anyone.
Phillip
Comment Written 04-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Appreciate your insights.
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You're welcome.
Phillip
Comment from Spitfire
The plot thickens.
One suggestion--simple rearrangement:
He found a document the boy called DARDEN
I think you should follow this up immediately with his reaction.
Maybe... "What the hell," he muttered, then froze.
His picture was included on this site because he was the law enforcement officer who killed Jackson
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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The plot thickens.
One suggestion--simple rearrangement:
He found a document the boy called DARDEN
I think you should follow this up immediately with his reaction.
Maybe... "What the hell," he muttered, then froze.
His picture was included on this site because he was the law enforcement officer who killed Jackson
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
The suggestion has been incorporated into the posting.
Appreciate your insights.
Comment from MTF1955
That was an excellent chapter. Gave me the chills. Their has to be another player and I'm sure we'll find out soon. Can't wait. Mary
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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That was an excellent chapter. Gave me the chills. Their has to be another player and I'm sure we'll find out soon. Can't wait. Mary
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Appreciate your insights.
If it gave you the chills, then maybe I did something right in how I penned the chapter.
Comment from Sankey
Wow! Where are we headed now? Plenty of mystery once again. You keep us enthralled with forecasts of more suspense. Good read and no spags this time around.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Wow! Where are we headed now? Plenty of mystery once again. You keep us enthralled with forecasts of more suspense. Good read and no spags this time around.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Much more to come so stay tuned.
Comment from doggymad
Plot coming along very nicely. Interesting collection of murders in the file, but still there is something more sinister at work here.
I see trouble coming for Darden and his family
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Plot coming along very nicely. Interesting collection of murders in the file, but still there is something more sinister at work here.
I see trouble coming for Darden and his family
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Appreciate your insights.
Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written chapter. Drew's bedroom is as creepy as the murders he committed. He seems quite disturbed in more than one way. It is going to be interesting to find the root of this disturbed soul.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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A very well-written chapter. Drew's bedroom is as creepy as the murders he committed. He seems quite disturbed in more than one way. It is going to be interesting to find the root of this disturbed soul.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Thanks.
Comment from Possummagic
This is a really intriguing chapter. I could think of no other reason for Drew to have Dardens cases regarding multiple murders than to attract Dardens attention to him. This information has to have been accessed by Drew well before the alleged murders and his family's murder mirrors one of the cases on his computer. The phone call is a mystery because Drew would never get access to a phone. I cannot fault your writing, therefore I can only try to interpret your story. It's a very enjoyable read and flows perfectly. PM
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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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This is a really intriguing chapter. I could think of no other reason for Drew to have Dardens cases regarding multiple murders than to attract Dardens attention to him. This information has to have been accessed by Drew well before the alleged murders and his family's murder mirrors one of the cases on his computer. The phone call is a mystery because Drew would never get access to a phone. I cannot fault your writing, therefore I can only try to interpret your story. It's a very enjoyable read and flows perfectly. PM
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Appreciate your insights and the review.
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You are most welcome. PM