Fatal Fun
Be responsible7 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This seven-word poem, Fatal Fun, has the proper word count and
acknowledges the eternal loss of a soul just beginning to live. Tragic.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
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This seven-word poem, Fatal Fun, has the proper word count and
acknowledges the eternal loss of a soul just beginning to live. Tragic.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
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Thanks.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, my friend,
Great way to use your seven words. You wrote a poem using seven words in a concise manner and it makes a big impact on the reader. Good job. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
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Hello, my friend,
Great way to use your seven words. You wrote a poem using seven words in a concise manner and it makes a big impact on the reader. Good job. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
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Thank you.
Comment from nbonner
Such a strong message in so little of words. It's amazing how we can get our message across without a long poem. Thank you for sharing, NB
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
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Such a strong message in so little of words. It's amazing how we can get our message across without a long poem. Thank you for sharing, NB
Comment Written 29-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
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Thanks.
Comment from Poetic Friend
In its brevity, this poem speaks volumes and volumes. Great usage of word economy.
The poem can have double meanings:
1) The obvious is mother was killed in a poem
2)The second meaning is a mother's love taken away from the her family and her world in general.
Either meaning, the poem packs a punch and pulls at heartstrings.
Good luck in the contest.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
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In its brevity, this poem speaks volumes and volumes. Great usage of word economy.
The poem can have double meanings:
1) The obvious is mother was killed in a poem
2)The second meaning is a mother's love taken away from the her family and her world in general.
Either meaning, the poem packs a punch and pulls at heartstrings.
Good luck in the contest.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
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Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem warning against drink and drive. The one drinking ends the fun of life when they take an innocent life after drinking unril they are too drunk.to drive.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
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A very well-written poem warning against drink and drive. The one drinking ends the fun of life when they take an innocent life after drinking unril they are too drunk.to drive.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
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Thanks.
Comment from Lucian Carter
Touching. The idea of a mother losing their child, or a child losing their mother, is heart-wrenching. And you left the poem open to either interpretation. Nice work.
My only suggestion is to break the third line so drunk is on its own line, followed by driver on its own as well. I think that would visually flow better, and emphasize the words killer, drunk and driver even more. Just my two cents, your mileage may vary.
A fine poem encompassing a lot in 7 words. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2017
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Touching. The idea of a mother losing their child, or a child losing their mother, is heart-wrenching. And you left the poem open to either interpretation. Nice work.
My only suggestion is to break the third line so drunk is on its own line, followed by driver on its own as well. I think that would visually flow better, and emphasize the words killer, drunk and driver even more. Just my two cents, your mileage may vary.
A fine poem encompassing a lot in 7 words. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 28-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2017
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Thanks.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written seven word poem about a mothers worst nightmare. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2017
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This is a very well written seven word poem about a mothers worst nightmare. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 28-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2017
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Thanks.