Nazi Nightmare
Almost caught by Nazis2 total reviews
Comment from janbar
I pray you are right! Your poem evoked fear and desperation. I have only one suggestion: in the third stanza there should not be an "s" at the end of Nazi. Well done. Thank you for sharing you talent. janbar
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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I pray you are right! Your poem evoked fear and desperation. I have only one suggestion: in the third stanza there should not be an "s" at the end of Nazi. Well done. Thank you for sharing you talent. janbar
Comment Written 24-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Thanks for the read and the correction. I have edited.
Comment from Lucian Carter
A good poem, very evocative, very stirring.
The last line, however, is like a sledgehammer to the face. Whether you like the current US leader or not, I'm not a fan of poems with a heavy handed message. Try being a bit more subtle. Try not actually naming Trump, hint instead. I would think people will appreciate your poem's message if they feel they figured it out themselves. Even if you love Trump, that would still make a better poem.
It's too bad, most of the piece is excellent, but that last line drags it down. It does really feel like a nightmare though. So it's a good fit for the contest. Good luck!
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2017
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A good poem, very evocative, very stirring.
The last line, however, is like a sledgehammer to the face. Whether you like the current US leader or not, I'm not a fan of poems with a heavy handed message. Try being a bit more subtle. Try not actually naming Trump, hint instead. I would think people will appreciate your poem's message if they feel they figured it out themselves. Even if you love Trump, that would still make a better poem.
It's too bad, most of the piece is excellent, but that last line drags it down. It does really feel like a nightmare though. So it's a good fit for the contest. Good luck!
Comment Written 24-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2017
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Thanks, I will consider your suggestion.
