The Eidolon
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Chapter 5 - Part 1: Chasing Ghosts"Family heinously murdered. The question is by who?
9 total reviews
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Good morning, Brett:
You are an exceptional writer. I can see this whole story as you explain it and I could relate to some of the feelings that Darden was feeling as he entered the home:
He paused to listen to the sounds the slaughterhouse made.
A strange feeling someone sinister awaited him in one of the rooms that constituted the place overcame him. This betrayed a false conviction.
In solitude, the Detective had entered other murder houses before that were related to cases he worked. Each time he did, he experienced the sensation of a hovering presence. None ever materialized.
This is so real, I could imagine that eerie feeling he was getting deep in the pit of his stomach. You really explained this so well.
I also was not aware that Darden was not assigned to this case or I forgot that he wasn't. I could imagine how attached he feels to this case since it has so many similarities of his old case.
Yes, this is still very interesting. I am enjoying your story.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2017
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Good morning, Brett:
You are an exceptional writer. I can see this whole story as you explain it and I could relate to some of the feelings that Darden was feeling as he entered the home:
He paused to listen to the sounds the slaughterhouse made.
A strange feeling someone sinister awaited him in one of the rooms that constituted the place overcame him. This betrayed a false conviction.
In solitude, the Detective had entered other murder houses before that were related to cases he worked. Each time he did, he experienced the sensation of a hovering presence. None ever materialized.
This is so real, I could imagine that eerie feeling he was getting deep in the pit of his stomach. You really explained this so well.
I also was not aware that Darden was not assigned to this case or I forgot that he wasn't. I could imagine how attached he feels to this case since it has so many similarities of his old case.
Yes, this is still very interesting. I am enjoying your story.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the chapter.
Appreciate you pointing out what you liked best about it.
Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from pbomar1115
I would not venture to guess why, Drew would kill his family, but for whatever reason for the little boy's confession, it has to be within reason for a thirteen-year-old. I'm looking forward to Detective Darden solving the case.
Phillip
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2017
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I would not venture to guess why, Drew would kill his family, but for whatever reason for the little boy's confession, it has to be within reason for a thirteen-year-old. I'm looking forward to Detective Darden solving the case.
Phillip
Comment Written 26-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of chapter four.
Always appreciate the comments, support, and reviews I receive.
As the story unfolds all questions will be answered.
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You're welcome, Brett.
Phillip
Comment from Abby Wilson-hand
I had to go back and start from the beginning of the story you sure have a nac with words my friend what a great story so far can't wait to read more. I'm not a story reader I do have to admit I usualy only read poetry but for some reason I come back and read what you have wrote .awesome job you are a great writer
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2017
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I had to go back and start from the beginning of the story you sure have a nac with words my friend what a great story so far can't wait to read more. I'm not a story reader I do have to admit I usualy only read poetry but for some reason I come back and read what you have wrote .awesome job you are a great writer
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2017
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Thank you very much for your comments. Appreciate them!
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Excellent piece to weave the personalizations of the players and the surroundings. No problems noted and I hope you are able to do this with the other players
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2017
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Excellent piece to weave the personalizations of the players and the surroundings. No problems noted and I hope you are able to do this with the other players
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this posting.
Can not say this enough, I really do appreciate your comments, support, and reviews.
Comment from doggymad
This story is drawing me more and more into the psychic realm. I sense some hidden evil spirit that has brought this young man to murder his family.
I did not know that a child could be deemed to have the wherewithal to premeditate a murder
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2017
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This story is drawing me more and more into the psychic realm. I sense some hidden evil spirit that has brought this young man to murder his family.
I did not know that a child could be deemed to have the wherewithal to premeditate a murder
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this part of chapter four.
I reckon it does dwell slightly in the psychic realm.
Appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from country ranch writer
Why wasn't the computer taken into the chain of evidence why? Why was it not noticed? Did it get there before or after the slaying? What insight could it have into the case?
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2017
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Why wasn't the computer taken into the chain of evidence why? Why was it not noticed? Did it get there before or after the slaying? What insight could it have into the case?
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2017
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That was what Darden was wondering. You think of all things it would have been if only to gain insight into Drew's character.
Glad you enjoyed this portion of chapter four.
Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from Rasmine
Good chapter. I love the descriptions of his thought process.
The description of Emily Larsen's congealed blood was gross and cool at the same time. I didn't know fungus grew in blood.
Now to the next!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2017
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Good chapter. I love the descriptions of his thought process.
The description of Emily Larsen's congealed blood was gross and cool at the same time. I didn't know fungus grew in blood.
Now to the next!
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2017
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Thanks for the review.
Appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from Possummagic
I'm still enjoying reading this story. I like to think that Detective Darden finds it difficult to believe that Drew could have killed his whole family in cold blood. Maybe he can turn up some evidence that will prove Drew innocent. If so, I wonder why he admits to being guilty? I enjoy your writing style.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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I'm still enjoying reading this story. I like to think that Detective Darden finds it difficult to believe that Drew could have killed his whole family in cold blood. Maybe he can turn up some evidence that will prove Drew innocent. If so, I wonder why he admits to being guilty? I enjoy your writing style.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this section of chapter four.
Appreciate your comments, support, and the review.
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You're welcome. I am enjoying the story. PM
Comment from Sankey
Once again an enthralling chapter full of mystery and as usual the readers wanting lots more. Only one error I found, thanks again for a good read. would enlighten him, and support his h[u]nch
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Once again an enthralling chapter full of mystery and as usual the readers wanting lots more. Only one error I found, thanks again for a good read. would enlighten him, and support his h[u]nch
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of chapter four.
Appreciate your comments and support.