Miscellaneous stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "The picnic"Fiction and non-fiction prose
15 total reviews
Comment from --Turtle.
Hi, Craig,
Nice job with this short flash. In a short amount of time, several human quirks are captured... the love to judge and condemn others, the forget of harm done by one's own choices. And dead meat is more than just dead meat. It's a tale tellable in a billion different but done tightly here in a few short lines.
I thought of my husband, scolding me for questioning a rule ... reinforcing the reasons why it's important, as he then breaks a different rule in the same breath. Blindspots of unnecessary.
It would seem unnecessary to kill for sport, and another line drawn to kill for consumption when there are other options. Loss of life and suffering is arbitrary to what is safe under the us umbrella.
I will admit, I kind of knew where this was going when the second person chimed in with mourning... but only because I'm well versed in your writing voice. : )
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2017
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Hi, Craig,
Nice job with this short flash. In a short amount of time, several human quirks are captured... the love to judge and condemn others, the forget of harm done by one's own choices. And dead meat is more than just dead meat. It's a tale tellable in a billion different but done tightly here in a few short lines.
I thought of my husband, scolding me for questioning a rule ... reinforcing the reasons why it's important, as he then breaks a different rule in the same breath. Blindspots of unnecessary.
It would seem unnecessary to kill for sport, and another line drawn to kill for consumption when there are other options. Loss of life and suffering is arbitrary to what is safe under the us umbrella.
I will admit, I kind of knew where this was going when the second person chimed in with mourning... but only because I'm well versed in your writing voice. : )
Comment Written 24-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2017
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Thanks for the lovely, thoughtful review, Turtle. I think you do know my writing too well - I'll make it a mission to try and produce something that surprises you :) Many thanks, Craig
Comment from BeasPeas
Fantastic write, Craig. As a vegetarian myself I loved this. Where do humans draw the line against killing the creatures we share the earth with? One is killed for sport and the other is killed for its flesh. People like to think meat comes in neatly wrapped cellophane rather than focusing on the horrific death slaughter house animals endure. Thanks for sharing. Marilyn
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2017
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Fantastic write, Craig. As a vegetarian myself I loved this. Where do humans draw the line against killing the creatures we share the earth with? One is killed for sport and the other is killed for its flesh. People like to think meat comes in neatly wrapped cellophane rather than focusing on the horrific death slaughter house animals endure. Thanks for sharing. Marilyn
Comment Written 23-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2017
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Thanks for the lovely comments, Marilyn. Of course, I agree with you. We seem to find it easy to make a distinction that I'm sure doesn't mean a great deal to our fellow creatures. Their fate is the same either way. Cheers, Craig
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Agreed, same fate. But the slaughter house animals KNOW what's coming, that's the terror of it. They see their fellows before them being killed and desperately try to climb concrete walls to save themselves. Horrific. At least a bullet is quick. It seems in this day and age there could be a more humane way, other than the entire world going vegetarian. Marilyn
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I'm thinking you are vegetarian Craig. Well done with this comparison, the dialogue and then the barbecue. We are all complex creatures aren't we. Good luck in the contest,
cheers,valda
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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I'm thinking you are vegetarian Craig. Well done with this comparison, the dialogue and then the barbecue. We are all complex creatures aren't we. Good luck in the contest,
cheers,valda
Comment Written 21-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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You got me, Valda - what gave it away? lol
Thanks for the kind words and good wishes.
Craig
Comment from F. Wehr3
I liked this, Craig, and found the ending funny. I'm not sure I can equate the eating of meat for nourishment versus the killing of animal for sport. I don't believe it's an apples to apples comparison. Still, it's a good story.
Good luck in the competition,
Russell
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2017
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I liked this, Craig, and found the ending funny. I'm not sure I can equate the eating of meat for nourishment versus the killing of animal for sport. I don't believe it's an apples to apples comparison. Still, it's a good story.
Good luck in the competition,
Russell
Comment Written 20-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2017
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Hi Russell,
I doubt the animals appreciate the distinction, Russell - they wind up just as dead either way. What we mostly get from meat are cardio-vascular disease and cancer, and there are better sources of protein. But the point of this little flash-fiction was to ask people to think, not to tell them what to think.
I'm grateful for the kind comments and the good wishes - many thanks. Craig.
Comment from tfawcus
A pretty good response to the challenge, Craig. Trust an Aussie to bring a BBQ into it! Strange the way we are revolted by the killing of some animals and not others. I remember when my daughter had pet guinea-pigs, we had a Peruvian friend to stay. He was amazed that we had them as pets rather than as dinner!
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2017
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A pretty good response to the challenge, Craig. Trust an Aussie to bring a BBQ into it! Strange the way we are revolted by the killing of some animals and not others. I remember when my daughter had pet guinea-pigs, we had a Peruvian friend to stay. He was amazed that we had them as pets rather than as dinner!
Comment Written 20-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2017
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Don't tell my other half that, Tony. Her mother has pet guinea pigs - or are they hamsters? One or the other - either way, I know she wouldn't want them becoming dinner! Cheers, Craig
Comment from Scarbrems
Oh, very nicely done. Smooth. Not a word out of place. A good point well, and entertainingly made. I haven't read any other entries for this yet, but I'd say this will take some beating.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2017
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Oh, very nicely done. Smooth. Not a word out of place. A good point well, and entertainingly made. I haven't read any other entries for this yet, but I'd say this will take some beating.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2017
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Thanks for the kind words, Emma, and also for the lovely shiny stars. Both are very gratefully received :) Craig
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent flash fiction. A good little bit of misdirection at the beginning and leading to the conclusion that it is okay to eat animals if they are cooked to perfection on the grill. They must be from PETA, People who Eat Tasty Animals. Kidding, Craig. lol
Excellent work and good luck to you in the contest.
Gloria
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Excellent flash fiction. A good little bit of misdirection at the beginning and leading to the conclusion that it is okay to eat animals if they are cooked to perfection on the grill. They must be from PETA, People who Eat Tasty Animals. Kidding, Craig. lol
Excellent work and good luck to you in the contest.
Gloria
Comment Written 17-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Haha! Thanks, Gloria. The lovely shiny stars are much appreciated - as is the humour. It's a beautiful sunny spring day here. A picnic would be lovely, but might give the grill a miss :) Craig
Comment from JennaG
I really liked this piece! Not only does it have a clever, surprise ending, but it's also a strong ending that makes the reader stop and think. I flinch and my heart sinks a little every time I come across one of those horrific hunting stories/pictures on Facebook or elsewhere. But, at the same time, I never hesitate to enjoy eating a nice, juicy steak. You've made a great point here! Your story is skillfully written and I wish you the very best of luck in the contest! :)
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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I really liked this piece! Not only does it have a clever, surprise ending, but it's also a strong ending that makes the reader stop and think. I flinch and my heart sinks a little every time I come across one of those horrific hunting stories/pictures on Facebook or elsewhere. But, at the same time, I never hesitate to enjoy eating a nice, juicy steak. You've made a great point here! Your story is skillfully written and I wish you the very best of luck in the contest! :)
Comment Written 17-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Thanks, Jenna, for the positive review. Very much appreciated - Craig
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Love your zinger ending, Craig! Yes, we think it's awful when people hunt for sport, but oh yes, it's okay to eat the animals that have been killed to feed us.
Your flash fiction makes a great satirical statement. In a mere 100 words you told an excellent story! Well done! Best wishes for the contest. ~~ Connie
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Love your zinger ending, Craig! Yes, we think it's awful when people hunt for sport, but oh yes, it's okay to eat the animals that have been killed to feed us.
Your flash fiction makes a great satirical statement. In a mere 100 words you told an excellent story! Well done! Best wishes for the contest. ~~ Connie
Comment Written 17-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Thanks, Connie, for the lovely review, and for the good wishes too. Much appreciated - Craig
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written hundred word flash fiction. We all eat meat and we find proteins and iron in meat to make us healthy and strong. A lion or giraffe is hunted for their skin and human pride.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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A very well-written hundred word flash fiction. We all eat meat and we find proteins and iron in meat to make us healthy and strong. A lion or giraffe is hunted for their skin and human pride.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Thanks for reviewing, and for the kind words, Sandra. Craig