The Eidolon
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Chapter 2 - Part 2: Visitation"Family heinously murdered. The question is by who?
11 total reviews
Comment from teols2016
Drew seems like such a lovely kid. I like how you describe the institution and the people working therein...a serious place with serious employees. I wonder if Drew, being a minor, wouldn't have an adult present, like a doctor or lawyer, while being interviewed by the detective. Otherwise, well done.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2017
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Drew seems like such a lovely kid. I like how you describe the institution and the people working therein...a serious place with serious employees. I wonder if Drew, being a minor, wouldn't have an adult present, like a doctor or lawyer, while being interviewed by the detective. Otherwise, well done.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2017
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Thanks.
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, Brett,
Good Part II. How would you divide that up in book form? I always used *** but some use ------- across the whole page. In a book it's just spaces cause it's usually has no space between the paragraphs.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2017
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Hello, Brett,
Good Part II. How would you divide that up in book form? I always used *** but some use ------- across the whole page. In a book it's just spaces cause it's usually has no space between the paragraphs.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2017
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The four parts would all be chapter one of the book.
FanStory's format is either write chapters the way I do or make them excessively long.
I prefer to break them up into more digestible pieces for my readers.
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Good morning, Brett:
Okay, I am happy to see that we are continuing this story. This is part two but am I missing something? Did I miss read when the Officers actually found the boys family murdered. I vaguely remember you mentioning the bloody scene and how even the young child was murdered also. I think I will go back to your profile to re-read part one but I am enjoying this story. It is very well written and I intend to follow it to the end...Good Job!
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Good morning, Brett:
Okay, I am happy to see that we are continuing this story. This is part two but am I missing something? Did I miss read when the Officers actually found the boys family murdered. I vaguely remember you mentioning the bloody scene and how even the young child was murdered also. I think I will go back to your profile to re-read part one but I am enjoying this story. It is very well written and I intend to follow it to the end...Good Job!
Comment Written 17-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Chapter One.
Believe Chapter 1 - Part 3: Visitation will answer that question for you.
Appreciate you taking the time to read this accounting and to write a review.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
A child with attitude and yet an underlying question of feelings and motive. Nicely done and the wait is worth the time. Leaving off wanting us to ask more
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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A child with attitude and yet an underlying question of feelings and motive. Nicely done and the wait is worth the time. Leaving off wanting us to ask more
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Chapter One.
Always appreciate your comments, support, and reviews.
Comment from country ranch writer
This sounds kind of iffy to me I do not think he planned on killing his folks. There is more than meets the eye with that therory going on although it don't look god for the boy.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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This sounds kind of iffy to me I do not think he planned on killing his folks. There is more than meets the eye with that therory going on although it don't look god for the boy.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Chapter One.
Appreciate you taking the time to read it and to write a review.
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Smilea
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Brett. Ok so you've given this juvenile beautiful devil a clear thought process and left the read intrigued as to what is up! I don't know where you came up with the story idea but, it is definitely going to be a stunner! Well written cast of characters so far. We know who these people are which is always a plus. :) deborah
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Hi Brett. Ok so you've given this juvenile beautiful devil a clear thought process and left the read intrigued as to what is up! I don't know where you came up with the story idea but, it is definitely going to be a stunner! Well written cast of characters so far. We know who these people are which is always a plus. :) deborah
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Chapter One.
Appreciate the comments, support, and review.
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I feel the same way about prose as you do about poetry. I am not a prose writer, however, I do learn from every read. I apologize if I do not review prose properly ... take care deborah
Comment from Spitfire
This takes off with the meeting of the Detective and the boy. I might suggest you start chapter one there and fill in the details about the mental institution gradually, using it to support a certain scariness about the place, one that doesn't seem to frighten the boy.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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This takes off with the meeting of the Detective and the boy. I might suggest you start chapter one there and fill in the details about the mental institution gradually, using it to support a certain scariness about the place, one that doesn't seem to frighten the boy.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Chapter One.
Appreciate you taking the time to read it and to write a review.
Comment from doggymad
Drew sounds so angelic but you give the reader the an insight into the psychotic side of him.
It is obvious he has little time or respect for the police force. I am not trying to figure out what the revenge is for
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Drew sounds so angelic but you give the reader the an insight into the psychotic side of him.
It is obvious he has little time or respect for the police force. I am not trying to figure out what the revenge is for
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Chapter One.
Appreciate you taking the time to read it and to write a review.
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I am really eager to follow
hugs
Freda
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Sometimes a chapter just needs to be longer Brett. I wish you had delved deeper into his reasons... the reason he planned the crime long, long ago. Somehow the boys needs were not met and he rebelled. That is what I am thinking. Interesting. Nancy
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Sometimes a chapter just needs to be longer Brett. I wish you had delved deeper into his reasons... the reason he planned the crime long, long ago. Somehow the boys needs were not met and he rebelled. That is what I am thinking. Interesting. Nancy
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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His reasons will come out.
Appreciate you taking the time to read this portion of the chapter and to write a review.
Comment from apky
Another great read, Brett, left off at a point where I want to come back and find out what happens next.
"For safety('s) sake, I'd keep him in here forever,"
Fastened to the utilitarian strip of leather were flexicuffs, a type of plastic hand restraints. Brownlee also arrayed a can of inflammatory pepper spray, an incapacitating Taser, and a hand-held walkie-talkie on his belt. These were all tools of his trade. ~ I often wonder if this sort of "tools of trade" are really necessary for such young offenders. These offenders are more often than not a reflection of what's wrong in our society.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Another great read, Brett, left off at a point where I want to come back and find out what happens next.
"For safety('s) sake, I'd keep him in here forever,"
Fastened to the utilitarian strip of leather were flexicuffs, a type of plastic hand restraints. Brownlee also arrayed a can of inflammatory pepper spray, an incapacitating Taser, and a hand-held walkie-talkie on his belt. These were all tools of his trade. ~ I often wonder if this sort of "tools of trade" are really necessary for such young offenders. These offenders are more often than not a reflection of what's wrong in our society.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the chapter.
Appreciate you taking the time to read it and to write a review.
Also appreciate the catch.