Reviews from

Grammy's Memoirs 2018

Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Monster in the House"
Bits and pieces of my life for my grandchildren

28 total reviews 
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow Patty: You have inspired me to write my story about my weird Uncle.

This story is so well written and intriguing that I was on the edge of my seat, eager to see what was going to happen and how you were going to handle it. You Go Girl! You got that spunk and always had it! I am so proud of you and you opened your mother's eyes for good after that experience, I hope anyway.

It is very sad. I actually wrote a poem similar to this. One day I will post it. It is called, "Burglars, Monsters and Murderers!"

It starts off with:

Sometimes we unwittingly introduce our children to
Burglars, Monsters and Murderers,
inviting them in, serving them din,
right at the kitchen table.

It is about my own experience of bringing disgusting, deceitful men into my home around my children. I thought I was in love but some men should never be fathers, or never live. Anyway I will share this poem soon.

Your story is exceptional and will probably be the story of the month.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
    Hi Tier;
    this write came from that deep place I keep hidden away. The Patty of those days was so different. She formed me with her strength and I can never forget that special girl,

    ~patty~
reply by Asem.inspirations on 09-Sep-2017
    She is still a very special part of you and her strength is very much a part of who you are today. That strong little girl only became a strong and wonderful woman. The story was amazing. You should publish it. My stories are deep and secretive like yours but when I read what you write, it gives me strength to tell my stories. Thank you for that.
Comment from Marvin Calloway
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was a great story, until the end. I would think your mother would praise you for being able to see what she couldn't.
Things of this nature should be more of a family decision.
Marv

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
    Hi Marv;
    this was a very sad time, and I think I grew up prematurely that day. If I wasn't an important member of that household, then I would need to be important to ME. A lot happened.

    The next chapter of Grammy's memoirs will give a lot of light to the changes,

    ~patty~
Comment from Natali Holden
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Patty, you made me smile. Jim was not only a monster, but a dumb one at that. He should've known better than to mess with you. We may be girls, but we're dangerous girls. Boys should not mess with us. Exceptional work here!
Natali ;)

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
    Hi Natali;
    thank you so much for reading and for the understanding review. I did find a side of myself that has sustained me through much in life,

    ~patty~
Comment from pbomar1115
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Your instinct was on target about your mother's friend. For one, it shows how different each of us is different from the other. We sometimes see what the other can not and vice versa. And more importantly, you have a memory so fix in your mind that when another guy gives you that feeling, you will lock on to him until something gives. Just a guess. I really don't know for a fact. But it was a terrible experience for a fifteen-year-old girl.

Phillip


 Comment Written 03-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
    Hi Phillip;
    thank you so much for the exceptional review on this piece. I had a great deal of problems with writing this memory, and I'm still reeling as I endeavor to write more about that time in my life.

    Thank you so much for reading, and sharing your thoughts,

    ~patty~
reply by pbomar1115 on 09-Sep-2017
    You're welcome, Patty.

    Phillip
Comment from BOO ghost
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

With this in her hand, she feels safe. She can stop him. She will stop him cold. yeah, ask Wayne Bobbitt about the consequences of a blade. Castration without representation. You see, in 1971, my mother let a monster in the house. Let BOO chase him off. BOO! BOO! My mother was dating, and while it felt a bit weird, He --he, struck BOO's funny bone. this guy, Jim, with her.Hum.. this must be the bad boy. He made my skin crawl. A woman's intuition. usually your gut instinct is right -on. cigarette smoke that now filled our house, he winked whenever he talked to me. yep, a pedophile. A dead ringer. He's weird and icky." ha ha! your sister bolted. Not surprisingly, my sister decided to move out within two weeks of Jim coming to live in our apartment. Oh no, yep,he was trying to groom you. im was telling all his friends that my 'cherry' was his. "Go ahead, you stupid bastard. I've been waiting for you." Oh me,this is killer funny. Maybe you did kill somebody in my gunfighter story coming tonight! Cheers!

BOO Ghost

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 Comment Written 02-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
    Hi Boo; thank you so much for your running commentary on the story - it made me smile in spite of living through it.

    I always love your reviews,

    ~patty~
reply by BOO ghost on 03-Sep-2017
    Mustang. The show has begun. just posted the gunfight. Your in it!
Comment from smbau
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like how you have highlighted a relevant social issues in our society in Grammy's memoirs. Glad that the mother in the story took steps to throw out the monster, if only parents sometimes could take time to understand they children intuitive concerns, may be we could save many from getting hurt. Fortunately in this story, I am so proud of the main character, her smart thinking and action of securing a knife. Living in fear is not living yet she did the best she could with what she had.
Optional suggestions:
"...my life was irrevocably changed." vs "...my life irrevocably changed."
"My spirit was damaged and I still felt uncomfortable..." vs "â?¢My spirit damaged, I still felt uncomfortable

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2017
    Hi there;
    this is a true story, so I guess you are proud of me. I had a very difficult time writing this one, which is why its been so long between memoirs.
    The mother in the story, and real life, did NOT throw out the monster. He left on his own, and the mother didn't know of his transgressions until after he left.
    Thank you for noting the changes, I went and did the edits,
    ~patty~
reply by smbau on 02-Sep-2017
    OMG Patty, am proud of you even more and glad the monster because it could have been worse. Despite the hardship, I think you put the story together very well. Thanks
Comment from emptypage
Excellent
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Tragic, beautifully told story. I don't know where you found the courage to do this.

Your mother... lots of women react the way she did. I'm so sorry you had to endure this.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2017
    Hi Marla;
    thanks for reading this story. It was a hard one to write; or more accurately, it was hard to think back on that time.

    My mother's reaction continued to be weird as I will show in the next memoir; she was a very complex person,

    ~patty~
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello my friend this is well written you described the ordeal very well you can feel the emotion and fear building through the chapter nobody should have to suffer this way I am glad you came through the other side well done on this write regards Jill

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2017
    Hi Jill;
    thank you so much for reading and reviewing this horrid point in my life. I am now scared to death of knives, and I'm just glad to be an adult in my own house,

    ~patty~
Comment from apky
Excellent
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This is beautiful writing. I admire how you are concise, with no wasted words.
I can imagine what it is to live in constant fear of something alive and living under the same roof with you. I believe the fear alone would have paralysed me, if not killed me altogether.

Great to read the memoirs again, Patty. I missed that.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2017
    Hi Aki;
    I guess I hadn't realized how much you enjoyed the memoirs. I know I haven't written any in awhile, because this was next, and I had such a hard time putting it into words.

    The funny thing is that now I have this horrid fear of knives, and I cringe when I see a large butcher knife.

    Thank you so much for reading,

    ~patty~
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Excellent
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Crazy? I would say you were one brave
girl - and strong, since you managed to drive
that evil devil out of the house.

Your mother should have been relieved he didn't
succeed in abusing you.

Well penned, Patty. A horrible experience.

Margaret

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2017
    Hi Margaret; this part of my memoirs had me stymied and it took a long time to pull it out. I think the release of those memories will bring me a great deal of relief.

    thank you for reading and reviewing,

    ~patty~