Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Hi Marv. I think this is an excellent chapter in your story. It's amusing and interesting and I followed along well. I like Abby's little ruse: "I started to say no, but Abigail spoke first. "Please, you can't repeat this to anyone. We ARE working on a film." Then she whispered in the man's ear. The last words I heard her say were, "He dies in this one." Great transition and I think this incident is the pivot point. Marilyn

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017

Yours is a very encouraging review. I appreciate the compliments.
You may not recall, but this is typical Abigail behavior. She improvises a situation and follows through with it.
I'm not sure about 'pivot point.'
Thanks for the 5 stars.
Marv

reply by BeasPeas on 10-Aug-2017

Hi Marv--I meant pivot point for this chapter.
I guess I should have said transitional point in this chapter. I go chapter by chapter--not knowing your intent for the entire story. Marilyn

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

Upbeat and campy. I liked it. It's your author's voice coming through. Since I don't recall reading another novel you've written, I'm not sure if it's typical to the genre or not. But it reads well.

"Really!" she said, loud enough for several patrons to turn their attention in their direction. [Since it was a woman who spoke, and they would have been drawn to her voice, I would change the second "their" to "her direction," that way eliminating momentary confusion.

I could hardly hear him say, "Don't tell anyone, especially your big- mouth sister." [To me, "barely" would fit in better than "hardly" in this sentence, but dang if I can tell you why.]

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017

Thanks for the nice review.
Years ago, I asked a man to read my story aloud, to a group. He read a few lines, stopped and said, ?I like your voice.? Even though I had never heard the expression before, I knew exactly what he meant. I know this is the way for me and this story.
I agree with your suggestions and have made the changes.
Thanks for the compliments.
Marv

Comment from Curly Girly

Excellent

A hungry kid with a smart answer--have you any hot dogs?
Cute.

especially your big- mouth sister."
especially your big-mouth sister." / spacing issue: big-mouth

A good, well-written chapter.

Nicole

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017

Thanks, Nicole, for your nice review. I appreciate the compliments and the 5 stars.
Marv

Comment from pome lover

Excellent

again, fascinating, Mr. C.
Of course, I don't remember chapter 45, it's been so long, but Abby is devious, huh? I'll have to go back and see what's going on. And our protag's name? It's not mentioned here.
Interesting chapter with a little hanky panky going on. Is our hero married? clever back and forthing. :)
will have to see why she has always lied to him.
I liked the last sentence, too. - cute.
pome lover

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017

Thanks for reviewing, my friend.
Here's the sentence you overlooked: You know why we're here, don't you, Russ??
He's not married. Has a few girl friends that think they're the only one.
Thanks for the compliments and the 5 stars.
Marv

reply by pome lover on 09-Aug-2017

ah - Russ! yep - overlooked that. sorry. (you've had so many names it's hard to keep up with you :)
Russ is a bad boy, leading women on. probably deserves to be lied to. another :)

Comment from Eternal Muse

Excellent

A very vivid story with an excellent use of a dialogue, and a good plot. I like your characters and their interaction with one another. Will there be a sequel?

I loved your artwork with the priceless old typewriter on it.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017

Thanks for reviewing.
I appreciate your use of the word, 'vivid.' Thanks for the compliments regarding dialogue and plot.
Abigail is a young lady that Russ has never met in person, only talked to on the phone. This was pretty fast work on both their parts.
A sequel!? I'd like to think so, but this may only be near the midpoint of the novel.
Got lucky with the artwork. I'm using it for Signman Says, also.
Thanks for the 5 stars.
Marv

Comment from apky

Excellent

Abby seems like a girl after my own heart:

When she reconsidered, she said, "I'll do both." The satisfied look on her face, conveyed to me the matter was settled. I signaled our waitress for another round.

But, okay, I'll take heed to the warning:

The rest of the lunch went as you might expect. Of course, in Abby's case, you shouldn't expect anything that you might expect.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017

Thanks for reviewing.
With Abby, there's never a dull moment, especially when you're speaking on the phone with her.
The cute ones are more alive than the ravishing ones.
Thanks for the 5 stars
Marv