The Lost Boy Revisited
Healing through expression41 total reviews
Comment from E. B. Ross
Bruised cloud's cheeks, falling through silenced sighs, this stuff is like poetry...oh wait, it is!
Beautiful, thoughtful imagery. I hope to God this is not autobiographical...this and "four years oldā??...if so, a big cyber hug to you, pal.
Outstanding work.
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Bruised cloud's cheeks, falling through silenced sighs, this stuff is like poetry...oh wait, it is!
Beautiful, thoughtful imagery. I hope to God this is not autobiographical...this and "four years oldā??...if so, a big cyber hug to you, pal.
Outstanding work.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2018
Comment from IndianaIrish
I remember your lost boy and this one is emotional as well. Written so well with great enjambment, rhymes, alliteration and imagery. Welcome back, Curt, and hope more readers will enjoy your entertaining writing.
Smiles,
Indy :-)
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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I remember your lost boy and this one is emotional as well. Written so well with great enjambment, rhymes, alliteration and imagery. Welcome back, Curt, and hope more readers will enjoy your entertaining writing.
Smiles,
Indy :-)
Comment Written 12-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Thanks again!
Curt
Comment from DALLAS01
What a powerful look into the soul of someone hurt so deeply that tomorrow seems to hold no promise. Your imagery is so vivid as to cause the reader to experience a pang of his pain. Rhymed poetry never seems to have this much of an impact for me, but this is truly an exception.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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What a powerful look into the soul of someone hurt so deeply that tomorrow seems to hold no promise. Your imagery is so vivid as to cause the reader to experience a pang of his pain. Rhymed poetry never seems to have this much of an impact for me, but this is truly an exception.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Thank you Dallas, I am honored by your comments and for the gift of stars.
Curt
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welcome
Comment from estory
There are some great images here, the long lines and rhyme scheme give it a heavy, plodding feel, like footsteps echoing down a long, dark hall. I liked "Let lifeless winds blow as he crawls upon his hands and knees" I think that really puts us in his shoes, "he embraces the darkness that he knows so well" we really see him overlooked, turning back to the lonely darkness, the endless hell. estory
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
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There are some great images here, the long lines and rhyme scheme give it a heavy, plodding feel, like footsteps echoing down a long, dark hall. I liked "Let lifeless winds blow as he crawls upon his hands and knees" I think that really puts us in his shoes, "he embraces the darkness that he knows so well" we really see him overlooked, turning back to the lonely darkness, the endless hell. estory
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
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Thank you for your thoughts,
Curt
Comment from Analie Shepherd
I am very intrigued by this poem. Lovely, lovely flow and structure. The rhyming is so well integrated, one is not really aware of it ... more aware of the balance of the whole piece.
I have one suggestion (suggestion only!) - you have written:
The line "let lifeless winds blow as he crawls upon his hands and knees"
Would you consider "let lifeless winds blow as crawls on hands and knees" ?
Now, that is picky of me, because there is nothing wrong with how you have written it. It is simply that each time I read it through I stumble on that spot ...
I do not know the deeper intent of this piece, but it spoke to me of children wounded by sins of adults. A child caught in the prison of his own shattered world with no one to hear or care.
Thank you for this beautifully written poem.
Blessings, Analie
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
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I am very intrigued by this poem. Lovely, lovely flow and structure. The rhyming is so well integrated, one is not really aware of it ... more aware of the balance of the whole piece.
I have one suggestion (suggestion only!) - you have written:
The line "let lifeless winds blow as he crawls upon his hands and knees"
Would you consider "let lifeless winds blow as crawls on hands and knees" ?
Now, that is picky of me, because there is nothing wrong with how you have written it. It is simply that each time I read it through I stumble on that spot ...
I do not know the deeper intent of this piece, but it spoke to me of children wounded by sins of adults. A child caught in the prison of his own shattered world with no one to hear or care.
Thank you for this beautifully written poem.
Blessings, Analie
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
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Maybe if you read it like this-
letlife-lesswinds blowas hecrawls upon hishands andknees.
Sounds fine to me that way, and I really like to stick to the syllable count when I can.
Thank you so much,
Curt
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Hi again ... so for some reason this seems to happen often, a word was dropped in my reply. What I wrote to you was "let lifeless winds blow as he crawls on hands and knees." I did not mean to leave out the he! Anyway, you like it the way it is and you are the poet, so that is what counts.
Blessings, Analie
Comment from Bill Schott
After reading The Lost Boy, I see this extension as either an exploded moment of the character before he pushes the final needle and dies on the floor of some cheap motel, or the tortured, haunted afterlife that is a prison of what he had become. Dark and painful.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
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After reading The Lost Boy, I see this extension as either an exploded moment of the character before he pushes the final needle and dies on the floor of some cheap motel, or the tortured, haunted afterlife that is a prison of what he had become. Dark and painful.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
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I probably should have said it was a prelude, but it didn't sound right in the title. Perhaps I'll mention it in the author notes.
Thank you for your thoughts, they were helpful.
Curt
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Curt Mongold,
It's a nice piece of poetry beautifully depicting its theme.
Wording is impressive.
Smooth flow with lovely rhyming scheme and lively imagery.
4th stanza is particularly noteworthy.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
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Hello Curt Mongold,
It's a nice piece of poetry beautifully depicting its theme.
Wording is impressive.
Smooth flow with lovely rhyming scheme and lively imagery.
4th stanza is particularly noteworthy.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
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Thank you!
Curt
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Curt, Most Welcome!
~ RP
Comment from kathleenspalding
Ew. Quite the creepy ending! Excellent poem flows well, tells a sad tale, and creates a strong mental picture and mood. Poor kid. Excellent choice of artwork.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
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Ew. Quite the creepy ending! Excellent poem flows well, tells a sad tale, and creates a strong mental picture and mood. Poor kid. Excellent choice of artwork.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
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Thank you!
Curt
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You're welcome
Comment from His Grayness
Truly a remarkable and gripping work here, so very well presented in artwork also. The story begins with immediate GRIP and holds on fully to the very end. I loved it completely and cannot offer anything to make it better. my apologies for not having the sixth star it truly deserves! HIS GRAYNESS
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
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Truly a remarkable and gripping work here, so very well presented in artwork also. The story begins with immediate GRIP and holds on fully to the very end. I loved it completely and cannot offer anything to make it better. my apologies for not having the sixth star it truly deserves! HIS GRAYNESS
Comment Written 08-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
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Thank you my friend,
your comments are the "six" I strive for, and many thanks for your thoughts on this, I am truly honored.
Curt
Comment from mediumhead
Oh my, this is my favourite poem so far. I actually gave me goosebumps. The reality of this poem screams through in a violent and disturbing way. The use of description of feeling for me was beautiful, bitter and a bit more beautiful.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2017
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Oh my, this is my favourite poem so far. I actually gave me goosebumps. The reality of this poem screams through in a violent and disturbing way. The use of description of feeling for me was beautiful, bitter and a bit more beautiful.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2017
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Thank you for your generous gift of stars my friend, for it is indeed a gift to me. Your omments though, are the true gift, for if I can reach a reader with my words, then what more can a poet ask for?
Many blessings,
Curt
