Broken Promise
The realization of the Greatest Gift of All.62 total reviews
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Timmy is so dedicated to parents who do not give a care about him. That is sad, but happens so much in life.
Some idiots like them should never have children.
At least he has his grandmother.
Your last line, the colored one, says all that needs to be said.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2022
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Timmy is so dedicated to parents who do not give a care about him. That is sad, but happens so much in life.
Some idiots like them should never have children.
At least he has his grandmother.
Your last line, the colored one, says all that needs to be said.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2022
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Thank you so much, Brett Matthew, for your extra special six-star review and comments. Yes, sadly, this happens often in today's fast-paced, competitive world. Parents have kids, and the children practically raise themselves. There's more truth in this story than I care to admit. I always appreciate your kind and encouraging reviews!
Comment from lyenochka
Oh, that's both heart-breaking and heart-warming. On one hand, it's a child who has known hardships who has the wisdom to appreciate the "greatest gift of all." You did a great job with the dialogue, first peaking our interest through the neighborhood spy, Helen (good name! Lee named his horse that in his stories. ð???) And then you bring us closer to Timmy and his story and then pan out again to give us the human-level conclusion. Congratulations on the win!!
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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Oh, that's both heart-breaking and heart-warming. On one hand, it's a child who has known hardships who has the wisdom to appreciate the "greatest gift of all." You did a great job with the dialogue, first peaking our interest through the neighborhood spy, Helen (good name! Lee named his horse that in his stories. ð???) And then you bring us closer to Timmy and his story and then pan out again to give us the human-level conclusion. Congratulations on the win!!
Comment Written 19-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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It's hard to believe you are so sweet and kind to go back and read my older stories that offer no reward but words on the page. So often children suffer from things that no one else realizes, like the isolation caused by the pandemic, many stuck, trapped in a dysfunctional family war zone with no hope of escape. Timmy felt lonely and unloved, but for his grandmother. As always, thank you for your kindness and continued encouragement. Your a champ, Helen! And I appreciate you every day! Ric
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I'm thankful for your kind reviews even when you're not posting. I don't take your kindness for granted.
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You don't take me as the type to take anything in life for granted, which makes every day of reading and communicating with you a blessing!
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💖💖
Comment from rockinm76233
Great story that tell the true meaning of this life. To love and be loved. The greatest gift of all. Good job. Keep up the good work. I see you won first with this story. Good call.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2021
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Great story that tell the true meaning of this life. To love and be loved. The greatest gift of all. Good job. Keep up the good work. I see you won first with this story. Good call.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2021
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Thank you so much, Rockinm, for your kind words and generous review. Our health, and to love and be loved are truly all that matters in life. I've stopped entering contests, but hope my writing has improved significantly since I did. I'm more thrilled for talented writers such as you to enjoy my work. I appreciate your encouraging kindness! Ric
Comment from Raul1
This is some interesting talk between Mrs. Stanley and little Timmy. You have written well your story. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Congratulations!
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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This is some interesting talk between Mrs. Stanley and little Timmy. You have written well your story. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Congratulations!
Comment Written 30-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much, Raul1, for your kind words and generous review. Like most all of my posts written as fiction, there is usually a large part truth. Although, I don't often share that secret with others. Appreciate you, Raul.
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Make this a virtual six. Wow. So powerful. You dialogue is impeccable and realistic. No wonder it won the contest and is on the all time best list. great work.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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Make this a virtual six. Wow. So powerful. You dialogue is impeccable and realistic. No wonder it won the contest and is on the all time best list. great work.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much, Theodore, for your kind words and generous review. And spending your time to read for free. I try not to be a showy writer and am never going to woo anyone with my word choices or elegance to win many contests. But, I always hope to touch someone who can relate to what I have to say, just like your writing has done for me. I appreciate YOU! Ric
Comment from KyLady
As I read this story my heart is so touched. I know there are little children in the world that this happens to. Parents don't realize how much damage they cause their children. Timmy was blessed that he had his Nanny to take care and love him. This story seemed so real to life. It was well written about how true life can be. Enjoy reading your stories always touching.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2021
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As I read this story my heart is so touched. I know there are little children in the world that this happens to. Parents don't realize how much damage they cause their children. Timmy was blessed that he had his Nanny to take care and love him. This story seemed so real to life. It was well written about how true life can be. Enjoy reading your stories always touching.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much, KYLady, for taking time to read and review Broken Promise. Sadly, these situations happen more often than we can imagine and many times without someone to step in and fill the voids. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I appreciate your kind words and generous review!
Comment from jenintorre
Wow this is a real tear jerker. I can see why you won the competition. Congratulations. Excellent story with really beleivable dialogue. Take care. Jen.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2020
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Wow this is a real tear jerker. I can see why you won the competition. Congratulations. Excellent story with really beleivable dialogue. Take care. Jen.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2020
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Thanks, Jen! They are easier to write when you can remember them.
Comment from Ronni
Hi Ric,
This kind of story involving kids 'left behind' when it comes to parental
love, care, time and attention, is sadly too often repeated and dismissed
all to lightly as well. so many places and neighborhoods. Been in a
few such ones myself, and my reaction and concern was just like
Mrs. Stanley in this story. I admire the way you incorporated the
boy's seeming strange length of time both immobile, yet visibly
frustrated, as being a child used to long waiting times for parents,
yet steadfast devotion and patience nonetheless. And relief at last,
that Timmy did have a loving grandmother after all whose care and
love for Timmy was both real and visible, and also to Timmy too.
Good ending, and truly, all one needs most, is someone to love them.
Best wishes, Ronni
(I thought it befitting since you kindly reviewed 3 of my works, I'd
oblige and take a look at yours. Quite a compact writing style indeed.)
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2020
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Hi Ric,
This kind of story involving kids 'left behind' when it comes to parental
love, care, time and attention, is sadly too often repeated and dismissed
all to lightly as well. so many places and neighborhoods. Been in a
few such ones myself, and my reaction and concern was just like
Mrs. Stanley in this story. I admire the way you incorporated the
boy's seeming strange length of time both immobile, yet visibly
frustrated, as being a child used to long waiting times for parents,
yet steadfast devotion and patience nonetheless. And relief at last,
that Timmy did have a loving grandmother after all whose care and
love for Timmy was both real and visible, and also to Timmy too.
Good ending, and truly, all one needs most, is someone to love them.
Best wishes, Ronni
(I thought it befitting since you kindly reviewed 3 of my works, I'd
oblige and take a look at yours. Quite a compact writing style indeed.)
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much, Ronni, for taking time to read my stories, which I figure to be far from anything you would ever be interested in reading. This story stems from what I see as a society where so many children raise themselves, sometimes out of necessity of parents busy schedules to make ends meet. But none-the-less detrimental. I appreciate your comments, encouragement, and kindness!
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Hi Ric,
While your type of stories may
not be one of my avid or craving kind of stories to read, but I do sometimes venture out of my most interested type, just for the
challenge of it, and to at least
have some exposure and edification on it and not be
entirely closed to it, which I
think shortchanges both, the
reader and the writer. Such
is the case in reading this story of yours. Immediately
struck a concern and related
images of children lost and
lonely, even with so called
"parents" who nonetheless
ignore and scar them emotionally and often more
psychologically. Have a 'latch
key' kid In my neighborhood. Busy parents, but empty house and alone way too much. Childhood loneliness
does not ever phase out or
without consequences.
This was a good story which
tugged at the emotions and
feelings from start to end.
That to me, is great writing,
regardless what genre it is,
and writer's main goal! So,
by all means keep at it, and
so glad you 'came back' on'
your own and just kept on
with them and your own
unique talent.
Best wishes always, Ronni
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If I got those points across to you, then I did everything I set out to do. As I have learned from a few big name writers, the average person reads and writes at the fifth-grade level (Truth, even the highly educated). Therefore, people like James Patterson try to write so anyone can read and enjoy his work. Therefore, I have finally convinced myself to keep things simple, and hopefully, easy for anyone to understand and relate to in some way. If I can make you laugh, cry, or just think, I've accomplished what I set out to do. Always wishing the best, Ric
Comment from karenina
First, congratulations on being the Contest Winner! Having read through this several times I can see why. Your descriptive lines are so meticulously on point I couldn't help but see through your mind's eye precisely what I would have seen standing beside you. Love the juxtaposition between Helen's personality with George and that between Helen and Timmy. Helen needs that gift of love as much as this forlorn and forgotten little boy! Interesting, as well that your character's concentrate on the very young and the "grands"--and omit except for commenting on their near total absence the middle generation--Timmy's parents. I could go off on a whole sociological rant about how many children are neglected in this way. Instead I will happily send you a "six" and tell you though I attempt poetry with some occasional success--there are a very few prose entries I've posted and I find them exceedingly hard to write well. I hope you've been published... I'm certain you could be.--Karenina
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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First, congratulations on being the Contest Winner! Having read through this several times I can see why. Your descriptive lines are so meticulously on point I couldn't help but see through your mind's eye precisely what I would have seen standing beside you. Love the juxtaposition between Helen's personality with George and that between Helen and Timmy. Helen needs that gift of love as much as this forlorn and forgotten little boy! Interesting, as well that your character's concentrate on the very young and the "grands"--and omit except for commenting on their near total absence the middle generation--Timmy's parents. I could go off on a whole sociological rant about how many children are neglected in this way. Instead I will happily send you a "six" and tell you though I attempt poetry with some occasional success--there are a very few prose entries I've posted and I find them exceedingly hard to write well. I hope you've been published... I'm certain you could be.--Karenina
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Karenina, my dear, I cannot possibly thank you enough for all your kind words and wonderful reviews today. And now, your very generous six-star review that stabs me with a happy stick (whatever that is). This short little story is near and dear to my heart, and you are the first person to catch that Helen, and even George, aren't real happy either. And you are right, many children raise themselves today, and sadly, so many don't have anyone to love and care for them. Of all I have ever written, this is one of my favorites, including "Looking for Lucky" and Burt and Alley. I'm glad you like it. Most of all, I'm glad I could come back after two years and find such a kind and considerate reader and reviewer. You truly have made my month!
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I have done the same here...I've come and gone since 2010...for a year or two break and then I get that tickle that tells me it's time to write (or try to write)--and I re-enlist. I've made a note to look up your other two favorites...and I'm about to "fan" you so as not to miss further offerings! BTW---love your writing nom de plum. Had be going off to read Michael Jackson's lyrics... (smile)--I'll review again soon!-Karenina
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I kinda figured we might have many more things in common. At least good hearts. LOL.
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Good hearts are sorely needed these days!--Karenina
Comment from frogbook
Oh, that was so sad and progressed in such a great way to an end that nearly broke my heart. I take care of both of my grandsons and I could just kick my 2 selfish daughters in the butt, as well as their worthless men. My grandson's are precious and I know they feel very sad inside. Who could give up their own kid?
Well, now see what you did! You caused a bit of a JoAnn rant-haha. The true test of a wonderful writer to bring out emotions others can feel.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Oh, that was so sad and progressed in such a great way to an end that nearly broke my heart. I take care of both of my grandsons and I could just kick my 2 selfish daughters in the butt, as well as their worthless men. My grandson's are precious and I know they feel very sad inside. Who could give up their own kid?
Well, now see what you did! You caused a bit of a JoAnn rant-haha. The true test of a wonderful writer to bring out emotions others can feel.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Thank you so much, JoAnn, my friend, for taking time to read my story. There are far too many children who are forgotten and left to fend for themselves if it weren't for loving grandparents or those with love to give. "Who could give up their own kid?" That's one of those questions that shouldn't have an answer. However, in most cases it's spoiled, self-centered ... and I'll stop right there before I go into a tirade, who are so selfish they only think about what they want. I was raised by my grandparents, and that little boy who sat waiting, I know. Your kind words and extra-special six-star review are greatly appreciated. It's grandparents like you who give children the love they most likely wouldn't be getting in foster care or in many cases in abusive homes, and plenty time end up on the streets alone. Now, I'm writing you a book. I knew I liked you from the very beginning! ((HUG)) Thanks a million! :-)
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Ha, loved the book Ric and seems like your grandparents did a fine job!