Cheater Caught
His fetish destroys him6 total reviews
Comment from Mustang Patty
Quite the interesting twist to the usual tale of two women trying to get revenge on the cheating husband/boyfriend. Well told - I have a few notes for you,
A few nits: 'Sheraton Crossroads in Mahwah, NJ.' (It is best to NOT use abbreviations in our writing-spell out New Jersey.)
'He's about 6'2", very muscular, is greying slightly, and has a slight Russian Accent."' (Again, things need to be spelled out - six foot, two inches OR six foot, two.)
There are some other uses; pm instead of 'at night.' Numbers should be spelled out, etc.
~patty~
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Quite the interesting twist to the usual tale of two women trying to get revenge on the cheating husband/boyfriend. Well told - I have a few notes for you,
A few nits: 'Sheraton Crossroads in Mahwah, NJ.' (It is best to NOT use abbreviations in our writing-spell out New Jersey.)
'He's about 6'2", very muscular, is greying slightly, and has a slight Russian Accent."' (Again, things need to be spelled out - six foot, two inches OR six foot, two.)
There are some other uses; pm instead of 'at night.' Numbers should be spelled out, etc.
~patty~
Comment Written 28-Jul-2017
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hello there writer. I think you've thrown a wonderful shock into your story. Who would of guessed. I mean the man cheating is sort of normal these days but a woman who also has the equipment to please another woman. Wonderful lol! Great twist. Good luck. xoxo Kiwi
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Hello there writer. I think you've thrown a wonderful shock into your story. Who would of guessed. I mean the man cheating is sort of normal these days but a woman who also has the equipment to please another woman. Wonderful lol! Great twist. Good luck. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 27-Jul-2017
Comment from Mistydawn
What a great story and the ending took me by complete surprise. It's very well-written, descriptive the dialogue seems natural what the character would say. It held my attention start to finish and the ending wow, what a twist. Great job, good luck on your contest.
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What a great story and the ending took me by complete surprise. It's very well-written, descriptive the dialogue seems natural what the character would say. It held my attention start to finish and the ending wow, what a twist. Great job, good luck on your contest.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2017
Comment from Auto-Manic
Ha! well, stranger things have happened, and damn, what a way to find out. Liked it, and when one of the girl has a schlong bigger than his but is still a girl, that's a song by AeroSmith. Rudy you poor bastard. HA! was a good read, moved along well, and had a great ending.
Nice job
AM
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Ha! well, stranger things have happened, and damn, what a way to find out. Liked it, and when one of the girl has a schlong bigger than his but is still a girl, that's a song by AeroSmith. Rudy you poor bastard. HA! was a good read, moved along well, and had a great ending.
Nice job
AM
Comment Written 27-Jul-2017
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks two women sit at a deserted bar, after drinks, Rudy leaves but Gina enjoyed having free raw sex in the hotel room; she is a fetish in such an immoral act; I liked.
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This speaks two women sit at a deserted bar, after drinks, Rudy leaves but Gina enjoyed having free raw sex in the hotel room; she is a fetish in such an immoral act; I liked.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2017
Comment from Possummagic
Hahaha " BUSTED" !! I really enjoyed that tittilating little piece. I still have a smile on my face and want to read MORE! Lol what are the odds eh? That your husband would be your new friends lover? I love the " sting" arranged by the pair to catch him unawares and vulnerable! I also loved the twist that Gina was a hermaphrodite.
Really well written piece of work, good luck in the contest.
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Hahaha " BUSTED" !! I really enjoyed that tittilating little piece. I still have a smile on my face and want to read MORE! Lol what are the odds eh? That your husband would be your new friends lover? I love the " sting" arranged by the pair to catch him unawares and vulnerable! I also loved the twist that Gina was a hermaphrodite.
Really well written piece of work, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2017
