Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I admired the way you reinforced your theme about disconnection with the fragmented, minimalist form. The repetitions and use of alliteration are effective as well. More cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017

Thank you for the excellent review and for your comments supporting this piece. estory

Comment from Asem.inspirations

Excellent

Good morning estory, thank you for the thorough, well defined and interesting Arthur notes. As I was reading the poem, I said to my self that you were possibly writing for the same reasons that you gave in the Arthur notes. It is clear there is a disconnection. I love how you put it:

This is a poem with connections to...nowhere. It is a poem really about disconnection, about how the human experience is disconnected by mechanical devices and electric systems,

Good job and the poem feels very technical. I'm going to share this with my son. He will love this one as he really loves your poetry, as I do.



connections. Hence the fragmented form, and the incomplete sentences. the music of the poem is

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017

Thanks for the great review and all your interesting comments supporting this poem estory

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a very interesting poem you have penned about the disconnection of so many today in this day and age. Very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with your words. Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017

Thanks for the great review and for your interesting comments about it, glad you enjoyed all the connections estory

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent

This speaks how dots connected to line, mechanical device, electric systems can connect to parts, figures, places, device, facts, data, networks and everything from disconnections; I liked.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017

Thanks for the great review and for your comments supporting the poem estory

Comment from Auto-Manic

Excellent

Nice Job. It seems to reflect today's way of life, to connect with anything or anybody, you plug in, a whole different way of connecting these days than even 20 years ago. Even here on FanStory, the connections we make we never and ether-internet connections.
Makes ya think huh.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017

Thanks for the great review and for your interesting comments. glad the poem got you thinking, that's what I like to hear estory

Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson

Excellent

Wow, that is a lot of connecting or disconnection as you say. Are you part cyborg? lol That was a joke, the way it's written like a robotic machine, lol. You mentioned music in your notes, my friend. I did not hear any, Not such if I was supposed to or not. ~Kerry

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017

Thanks for the great review and for your interesting comments about the poem. The music is a mechanical music. it comes from the repetitions of sounds and words, patterns repeating through out the poem. estory

reply by Kerry Foley Robinson on 13-Jul-2017

Lol, oh OK, just making sure. Have a good weekend

Comment from HarryT

Excellent

This is a deeply thought out work trying to connect with those of us who agree that more connections may actually lead to meaningful disconnections.

The only wording that stop the flow for me was "Connecting together the conversations Out of disconnected" ("Out of disconnected" did not work for me. I wanted the words to be of the disconnected).

I enjoyed the interweaving of sound. You accomplished this task well.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017

Thanks for the great review and for your interesting comments and suggestions about the poem. Glad you got the music, the theme. I am aiming for a fragmented, dense patterns of sound here. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. I will take a look at your suggestion. estory

reply by HarryT on 13-Jul-2017

You are welcome.

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

thank you for sharing this well worded poem about connections and disconnects. It always seems as if the world is much more 'connected' with the new technology, but in truth, we are all more apart than ever. Nothing like walking onto a bus or train and seeing just about every person hunched over the screen of their phone or tablet. No one speaks to the person sitting right next to them!

Well done,

~patty~

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017

Thanks for the great review and for your interesting comments supporting the poem. I think you got exactly what I wanted to say. thanks for reading and enjoying glad it make you think estory