Was I the Child You Lost?
Before my birth.68 total reviews
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Sis Cat, Wow. Your poem is thought-provoking, and the pain of yesteryear is felt. I've read your poem many times, and there is much to ponder. However, the following line from your author's notes leaves me in deepest thought:
"Forgive me . . . forgive me if I feel no sin, but if you're lost, you'll come again . . ."
(especially ... "you'll come again. Come again in the after-life, come again in another pregnancy, or come again ???. Sis, there is so much to ponder, and let's not forget that in the 1960's. Women lacked many social and economic choices, and then ... there was religion. There's a lot going on in your poem, and there's more going on between the lines.)
Beautiful carving - open to interpretation. Today you wrote something brave. Keep the blue waters flowing.
Best wishes in the voting booth. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
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Hello Sis Cat, Wow. Your poem is thought-provoking, and the pain of yesteryear is felt. I've read your poem many times, and there is much to ponder. However, the following line from your author's notes leaves me in deepest thought:
"Forgive me . . . forgive me if I feel no sin, but if you're lost, you'll come again . . ."
(especially ... "you'll come again. Come again in the after-life, come again in another pregnancy, or come again ???. Sis, there is so much to ponder, and let's not forget that in the 1960's. Women lacked many social and economic choices, and then ... there was religion. There's a lot going on in your poem, and there's more going on between the lines.)
Beautiful carving - open to interpretation. Today you wrote something brave. Keep the blue waters flowing.
Best wishes in the voting booth. LateBloomer
Comment Written 03-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
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Oh, thank you, LateBloomer, for your generous, six star review. Yes, I pondered those lines my mother wrote the year I was born. The entire section that I quoted of her poem reads:
"Forgive me . . .
forgive me if I feel no sin
but if you're lost
you'll come again . . .
if not here,
some other place."
I interpret this to mean that she thought the soul of the miscarried child may come again in another pregnancy or be born to another woman. I also have my diaries in which she recorded having nightmares about aborted babies. The 60's and 70's were a very different time for women who "lacked many social and economic choices, and then ... there was religion."
My poem, my mother's poem, and my father's sculpture are dense with many levels of meaning.
Thank you for your review. I feel honored to be nominated for writing something brave.
Comment from Just2Write
My heart ached when I read this poem, Sis Cat - The child still living with the grief of a miscarriage that was his mother's pain.
Survivor's guilt. Was the child that was born the same child that died in the womb? Not an easy question. Some women believe that is possible and in the process of healing and mourning a loss of an infant, some will swear that is what happened to them when they became pregnant a second time.
I believe that each child is a unique gift and that the unborn brother that died is separate from the one that came into the world. Both to be loved for what they were, or are - and neither subordinate to the other.
You give us much to think about with the telling of this poem and sharing the photo of the intense sculpture of a woman and the mystery of life that grows within her.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
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My heart ached when I read this poem, Sis Cat - The child still living with the grief of a miscarriage that was his mother's pain.
Survivor's guilt. Was the child that was born the same child that died in the womb? Not an easy question. Some women believe that is possible and in the process of healing and mourning a loss of an infant, some will swear that is what happened to them when they became pregnant a second time.
I believe that each child is a unique gift and that the unborn brother that died is separate from the one that came into the world. Both to be loved for what they were, or are - and neither subordinate to the other.
You give us much to think about with the telling of this poem and sharing the photo of the intense sculpture of a woman and the mystery of life that grows within her.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
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Yes, Just2Write, the statement my mother made in her original poem "Woe is Me!" in which she predicts her miscarried child may return to be born again opens up my question to ask, "Well, Mom, sense you had a miscarriage five years before I was born, am I that child returned?" I may never know but in my closing lines I resolved to love her and write.
Thank you for your generous, thoughtful review and comments.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is such a sad poem, many women are sure to relate to it. What an amazing sculpture you father created, and the poem, that line really touched my heart. I hope your parents felt the joy of parenthood when they looked for the first time into your face. Superb poetry, my friend. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2017
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This is such a sad poem, many women are sure to relate to it. What an amazing sculpture you father created, and the poem, that line really touched my heart. I hope your parents felt the joy of parenthood when they looked for the first time into your face. Superb poetry, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 12-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2017
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Yes, Sandra, for my parents and for all parents, a miscarriage is a devastating loss. My parents tapped into their fears and anxieties to create the sculpture and the poem. Knowing how things could have turned out tragically like my mother's previous pregnancy five years earlier, my parents, I am sure, felt joy when they looked into my face for the first time. Thanks for your review.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Sis Cat
= This is such a moving poem.
= The history with this is quite touching.
= Your father's artwork is most dramatic.
= Wonderful job with interjecting your emotion.
<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers <> Jax / Jackie
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2017
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Hi, Sis Cat
= This is such a moving poem.
= The history with this is quite touching.
= Your father's artwork is most dramatic.
= Wonderful job with interjecting your emotion.
<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers <> Jax / Jackie
Comment Written 12-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Jax, for your encouraging review which made me smile. Yes, my father's sculpture is dramatic. He would have been pleased to know that.
Comment from doggymad
This was a moving and thought provoking write. Society rarely makes allowances for those who suffer the loss of a baby through miscarriage and still birth.
This wood carving is exceptional and shows that love certainly brought about healing in this case.
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2017
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This was a moving and thought provoking write. Society rarely makes allowances for those who suffer the loss of a baby through miscarriage and still birth.
This wood carving is exceptional and shows that love certainly brought about healing in this case.
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 11-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Freda, for your generous, six star review. I am quite proud of my parents not only for bringing me to life but for collaborating with their talents on the sculpture and poem that inspired my poem. You are right--society rarely talks about miscarriage and stillbirth. My mother never told me that her pregnancy before me ended in a miscarriage, but I am proud of her that she created a poem and an essay about a universal, but little discussed, experience. My father would be quite pleased by your compliment of his art, too. Thank you very much.
Comment from Abby Wilson-hand
excellent poem great great work
my friend the picture you chose is
perfect keep up the great writes
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2017
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excellent poem great great work
my friend the picture you chose is
perfect keep up the great writes
Comment Written 11-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Abby, for your review of my poem you deemed excellent. My father, a potter, collaborated with my mother, a poet. He created the ceramic sculpture "Woe is Me!" while my mother wrote the poem of the same title as an artist statement. Both works of my parents inspired my poem. I will keep up the great writes.
Comment from nancyrabbrose
This is an amazing poem, Sis Cat. TRULY we are blessed, as poets, to be able to write away our pain and make it art. You certainly do that. My mere words here do not capture the feeling I have for your poem, your father's sculpture and your experience and much for your mother. God bless all of us. This earthly experience can be daunting, yet, there are the beautiful moments and beautiful people, such as yourself.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2017
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This is an amazing poem, Sis Cat. TRULY we are blessed, as poets, to be able to write away our pain and make it art. You certainly do that. My mere words here do not capture the feeling I have for your poem, your father's sculpture and your experience and much for your mother. God bless all of us. This earthly experience can be daunting, yet, there are the beautiful moments and beautiful people, such as yourself.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2017
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You are right, Nancy, we are blessed as poets to be able to write away our pain. I am quite proud that my mother wrote the "Woe is Me!" that accompanied my father's sculpture as an artist statement, and that my father left me photos, logs, and poetry of their collaboration to inspire my poem which has touched many women who have experienced miscarriages.
Thank you for your generous, six star review and heartfelt compliments.
Comment from nomi338
I think that when a person is suffering from a deep and wounding pain, they strike out blindly sometimes saying and sometimes even doing things that they later regret. Pain can drive a person to contemplate and even do unthinkable things. To have you to hold in her arms, to be able to kiss your face, to breathe in your fragrance, to see the love reflected in your eyes must have tormented her for her earlier thoughts and comments. When you weigh the love she gave to you and the love that she showed you throughout your life, anything she might have said before you were born is meaningless and of no importance.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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I think that when a person is suffering from a deep and wounding pain, they strike out blindly sometimes saying and sometimes even doing things that they later regret. Pain can drive a person to contemplate and even do unthinkable things. To have you to hold in her arms, to be able to kiss your face, to breathe in your fragrance, to see the love reflected in your eyes must have tormented her for her earlier thoughts and comments. When you weigh the love she gave to you and the love that she showed you throughout your life, anything she might have said before you were born is meaningless and of no importance.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Yes, nomi338, "When you weigh the love she gave to you and the love that she showed you throughout your life, anything she might have said before you were born is meaningless and of no importance."
Thank you for your compassionate, sensitive, and generous six star review. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from Janet Foor
A very deep and thought provoking poem Andre. I can only imagine the anguish of a miscarriage. Your sonnet is a beautiful piece that gives hope to those who have experienced it that they can conceive and still bring life into this world.
well done.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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A very deep and thought provoking poem Andre. I can only imagine the anguish of a miscarriage. Your sonnet is a beautiful piece that gives hope to those who have experienced it that they can conceive and still bring life into this world.
well done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Janet, for your generous, six star review. I am grateful and proud of my mother that she had the courage and the creativity to write about her experience with a miscarriage and mental illness. May women have come forward and shared with me their own experiences. My mother would have been pleased that my poem brings hope to others. Thanks.
Comment from Irish Rain
This is so lovely, and sad. A wonderful question too. What happens to the soul/spirit of a stillborn? Some believe it goes straight to Heaven. Some believe it watches over the mother. Others believe it waits, to be reborn. I think I choose the last. Lovely carving also. Blessings...
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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This is so lovely, and sad. A wonderful question too. What happens to the soul/spirit of a stillborn? Some believe it goes straight to Heaven. Some believe it watches over the mother. Others believe it waits, to be reborn. I think I choose the last. Lovely carving also. Blessings...
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Irish Rain, for your review of my poem which asks a wonderful question. My father would have been pleased that you found his carving lovely, too.
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You are most welcome!!
