Grandma's Teachings
Learning right from wrong contest entry40 total reviews
Comment from Ogden
You are an unrepentant iconoclast, aren't you? I'll bet you're posting a biographical story. That kid didn't learn a moral lesson. In fact, the experience only reenforced his recalcitrance.
Dragon, you fixed almost everything and wrote a darn good piece, as I knew you could, but still couldn't resist the pleasure of challenging the rules. As you've seen, I've upgraded the rating anyway, and now we'll see how alert the committee will be.
(I'd like to see you write something that doesn't reflect the anger in your nonconformist nature. Of course, that's none of my business, but I'm interested, nevertheless.)
Don
Hi,
I authored "Learning Right From Wrong Children's Poetry Contest," and I have some comments about what you wrote.
I'll gladly upgrade my rating to five stars if you comply with the contest terms. Your post doesn't come close to the main point of the prompt that species the poem must be about a young child who learns the difference between the right or wrong moral decision.
It should be written as an object lesson for children. It will be read by, or read to, children, for whom the entry isn't appropriate.
It's ironic that your satire, instead, teaches a lesson on how to cheat. The disclaimer can not un-teach the lesson.
Unfortunately, the poem embraces exactly what you rail against in your notes. It's obvious you're a good writer, so I hope you will return to the scene of the crime, and give it another go.
Don (aka Ogden)
P.S. As well-written as it is, your piece has major problems, that probably would give you pause. If you'd like an explanation, pm me.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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You are an unrepentant iconoclast, aren't you? I'll bet you're posting a biographical story. That kid didn't learn a moral lesson. In fact, the experience only reenforced his recalcitrance.
Dragon, you fixed almost everything and wrote a darn good piece, as I knew you could, but still couldn't resist the pleasure of challenging the rules. As you've seen, I've upgraded the rating anyway, and now we'll see how alert the committee will be.
(I'd like to see you write something that doesn't reflect the anger in your nonconformist nature. Of course, that's none of my business, but I'm interested, nevertheless.)
Don
Hi,
I authored "Learning Right From Wrong Children's Poetry Contest," and I have some comments about what you wrote.
I'll gladly upgrade my rating to five stars if you comply with the contest terms. Your post doesn't come close to the main point of the prompt that species the poem must be about a young child who learns the difference between the right or wrong moral decision.
It should be written as an object lesson for children. It will be read by, or read to, children, for whom the entry isn't appropriate.
It's ironic that your satire, instead, teaches a lesson on how to cheat. The disclaimer can not un-teach the lesson.
Unfortunately, the poem embraces exactly what you rail against in your notes. It's obvious you're a good writer, so I hope you will return to the scene of the crime, and give it another go.
Don (aka Ogden)
P.S. As well-written as it is, your piece has major problems, that probably would give you pause. If you'd like an explanation, pm me.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Yeah, I know it's not complying to a rule or two. I'll get it fixed before the deadline. One thing though, the rules nowhere say that it needs to be a piece that's going to be read to or by a child. Nor does it mention that it should be written as an object lesson for children. The rules say to create a situation in which a young child learns the difference between a right or wrong moral decision. If the child learns this by a harshly devastating, inappropriate situation the lesson is still learned. If the child is taught that something wrong 'is' right then again, they still have learned a difference. Right or wrong is how it's seen through the one teaching it.
I didn't see on the contest page that this was actually a children's poetry contest. If it is on the page please tell me where to find it.
Thank you for the review, Don. I mostly just wanted to rant. I'll have it changed or remove it before the deadline.
P.S. One other thing, when it's a 'blind' contest my name really should be left from sight in the review so it remains anonymous.
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I'm sorry. I see it right there. It does say children's poetry contest. I'll have it complying to rules before the deadline.
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You are correct about your identity. I made you anonymous again.
But it's obvious that a children's poem will be read by, or to, children. And the prompt does specifically say it should be written as an object lesson for children: "Create a situation in which a young child learns the difference between a right or wrong moral decision." The child in the poem must learn that lesson from being in the middle of a conundrum. Not by being lectured to by a writer.
I didn't mention two other problems that you should address. The most important of all the issues is that your children's poem should be understandable to young children. The subject matter, concept, terminology, and language, in "Photoshop Your Dreams," is not. It's definitely a piece written for adults. The cartoon has no meaning to the kiddies. Which brings me to the other issue.
Although you removed the balloon copy from the cartoon, you used two illustrations - which now is a moot point. I try to keep the playing field even n my contests, and keep the focus on the topics.
There still is time for you to write another entry from scratch. You didn't reply to my P.S. In case you are considering using basically the same piece in this contest, or in any other way, there are some facts about it that are likely to affect your judgement. Let me know if you want me to share them with you.
I hope you understand I'm trying to help. With so few entries, given your ability, you should have a good shot at waking away a coveted FanStory phony-money prize.
Don
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I'm not worried about winning this contest. I just wanted to speak my mind about the injustice of what my poem is saying. I didn't thoroughly read all your rules before I entered. I just saw the 'wrong from right' aspect of it and quickly jumped at the opportunity. I know it's wrong, I know this. Like I said, I'll either have it changed before the deadline or it'll be taken out when I get disqualified. Winning the contest isn't why I entered.
Comment from Oatmeal
Anything here with my name on it is mine...I wrote it. I have no pictures or jokes.
Understandable and thought provoking but especially insightful comments.
Very descriptive and created impressions that are very vivid and understandable.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Anything here with my name on it is mine...I wrote it. I have no pictures or jokes.
Understandable and thought provoking but especially insightful comments.
Very descriptive and created impressions that are very vivid and understandable.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 08-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the fantastic review, Oatmeal. I really appreciate the gracious stars. I'm glad you liked my silly little rant.
Comment from Irish Rain
Oh my goodness, I certainly hope no one truly did this. That would be awful. I'm afraid I haven't actually looked at some of the winners in recent contests, but I will! Blessings....
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Oh my goodness, I certainly hope no one truly did this. That would be awful. I'm afraid I haven't actually looked at some of the winners in recent contests, but I will! Blessings....
Comment Written 08-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the great review, Irish. Yeah, just watch the first couple announcements on the home page and you'll find it. It's a shame some people have to go to these lengths but what can you do? The site just lets it happen, claiming it isn't breaking any site rules. I just have to speak my mind about it once in a while, lol. I really appreciate the gracious stars. Thank you again.
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So, to the site, this is ok?? Unreal.
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That's exactly the response I had as well but I can't fight the system so all I can do is whine about it, haha. Thank you again for the great review, Irish.
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I can only say, 'Wow.'
Comment from Beverly Botelho
As a poem I love it! It is creative (and not imitative). It rhymes, it shines with originality. Unfortunately you did not write this with the readership in mind - it is supposed to be written for a child, remember! But it's true and I love it.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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As a poem I love it! It is creative (and not imitative). It rhymes, it shines with originality. Unfortunately you did not write this with the readership in mind - it is supposed to be written for a child, remember! But it's true and I love it.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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I was reading it to my kid as I was writing it. He got a kick out of it. Thanks for the review.
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Perceptive child with an advanced taste in literature: which by the way, I consider it. Good luck in the contest.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks how to learn right from wrong and keep using one's originality in thoughts and expressions and maintain morality and values in world of competitions of creativity; I liked.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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This speaks how to learn right from wrong and keep using one's originality in thoughts and expressions and maintain morality and values in world of competitions of creativity; I liked.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the great review, ALD. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Comment from pome lover
your photo shopping is very good. I didn't know that was happening. I do know that some people are allowed to review with a sentence or two and I have to keep adding more after I have finished what I wanted to say, to have an acceptable amount of words.
At any rate, I hope the culprits read your post and take heed.
good luck.
Isn't this supposed to be about a child?
pome lover
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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your photo shopping is very good. I didn't know that was happening. I do know that some people are allowed to review with a sentence or two and I have to keep adding more after I have finished what I wanted to say, to have an acceptable amount of words.
At any rate, I hope the culprits read your post and take heed.
good luck.
Isn't this supposed to be about a child?
pome lover
Comment Written 08-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the great review, pome lover. It's not actually suppose to be about a child. It's suppose to be about teaching a child right from wrong. I really appreciate the gracious stars. Thank you again.
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most welcome
Comment from Ricky1024
"Capturing and altering cartoons or any Copy-te post and portraying it as yours is an infringement and serious crime."
"Your better off creating it from scratch."
"This was well written with great flow."
"Grammar good."
Complete Synopsis-*****
Thanks,
Ricky 1024.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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"Capturing and altering cartoons or any Copy-te post and portraying it as yours is an infringement and serious crime."
"Your better off creating it from scratch."
"This was well written with great flow."
"Grammar good."
Complete Synopsis-*****
Thanks,
Ricky 1024.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the great review, Ricky 1024. I really appreciate the generous stars. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Comment from c_lucas
I quit doing contest
Years a go because of the cheating
I trust my jokes are original
And have yet to be proven wrong
***
Thank you for a legitimate complaint. This is very well written.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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I quit doing contest
Years a go because of the cheating
I trust my jokes are original
And have yet to be proven wrong
***
Thank you for a legitimate complaint. This is very well written.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the great review, C L. Yeah, I haven't entered a contest in a good while either. I just had to speak my mind when I saw this old joke had took place in a recent FS contest. I looked it up and sure enough this exact picture was used with the words taken out and used as their own. I just had to rant about it, lol. Thank you again.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
This is a brilliant witty poem.
Which describes the art of photoshop in such a funny way.
The alliteration is fantastic which brings your words alive with hilarious effect.
and a perfect picture to accompany.....I take it, it is an original
Mitchell
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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This is a brilliant witty poem.
Which describes the art of photoshop in such a funny way.
The alliteration is fantastic which brings your words alive with hilarious effect.
and a perfect picture to accompany.....I take it, it is an original
Mitchell
Comment Written 08-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Lol, yep, that's all me. Thank you for the great review, friend. I'm glad you liked my little rant.
Comment from lalajovanoski
Hello my friend, I very much enjoyed reading this beautifully written poem for the writing prompt. I think that the rhyming scheme is very nicely done throughout. The structure and flow is very soft and smooth. Go to literation. Thank you for sharing this. God bless you. With love, Lala
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Hello my friend, I very much enjoyed reading this beautifully written poem for the writing prompt. I think that the rhyming scheme is very nicely done throughout. The structure and flow is very soft and smooth. Go to literation. Thank you for sharing this. God bless you. With love, Lala
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the fantastic review, Lala. I really appreciate the gracious stars. I'm glad you liked the piece.
