Grandma's Teachings
Learning right from wrong contest entry40 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Lol! Oh dear. I don't know whether it was the food that disagreed with his taste buds also disagreed with his digestive system. Perhaps it was more the attitude and language that needed correction than the action.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Lol! Oh dear. I don't know whether it was the food that disagreed with his taste buds also disagreed with his digestive system. Perhaps it was more the attitude and language that needed correction than the action.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Lol. Yep, maybe. Thank you for the great review, L.
Comment from kathleenspalding
Hahaha, good one! Poor kid. (Some grandmothers have no sense of humor, LOL.) Cute poem is excellent for the prompt. I don't see anything that needs to be corrected.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Hahaha, good one! Poor kid. (Some grandmothers have no sense of humor, LOL.) Cute poem is excellent for the prompt. I don't see anything that needs to be corrected.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the great review, Kathleen. I'm glad you had a chuckle at this silliness.
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You're welcome
Comment from Drew Delaney
This is so cute! It brought a smile upon these lips. The rhythm was a little off towards the end. "What did you just say." Maybe something like, just what was it did you say, to add a few syllables. Just a thought. Excellent otherwise,
Drew
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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This is so cute! It brought a smile upon these lips. The rhythm was a little off towards the end. "What did you just say." Maybe something like, just what was it did you say, to add a few syllables. Just a thought. Excellent otherwise,
Drew
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the great review, Drew. Yeah, I was fighting with line as well. I'll give it some thought. I'm glad you liked this silly thing.
Comment from rjuselius
haha. lol. this is a hilarious piece of poetry dear anonymous! i thoroughly enjoyed the humor and it made me snort. bravo my friend!
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings and a big squeeze!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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haha. lol. this is a hilarious piece of poetry dear anonymous! i thoroughly enjoyed the humor and it made me snort. bravo my friend!
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings and a big squeeze!
rebekka x
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the fantastic review and good luck wishes, Rebekka. I'm glad you got a chuckle out of this silliness.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Grandma's Teachings, is a really fun look at what we had to go through as the kid. A fart at my Granny's though, would have been unimaginable.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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This poem, Grandma's Teachings, is a really fun look at what we had to go through as the kid. A fart at my Granny's though, would have been unimaginable.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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I know what you mean. That would have never flown at my grandma's house. Thank you for the great review, Bill.
Comment from LaRosa
oh, my gosh, this was so much fun to read.
You have captured the heart and mind of a child and the reader finds herself rooting for him. We can all relate to his woe: being forced to do something for someone else's sake, dealing with what may have come with the 'noise', and the discipline to follow.
Good for GRandma!
I enjoyed the poetic form that allowed for easy 'spoken' reading. The language and organization were logical and the reader felt she was inside the child's mind as all unfolded. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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oh, my gosh, this was so much fun to read.
You have captured the heart and mind of a child and the reader finds herself rooting for him. We can all relate to his woe: being forced to do something for someone else's sake, dealing with what may have come with the 'noise', and the discipline to follow.
Good for GRandma!
I enjoyed the poetic form that allowed for easy 'spoken' reading. The language and organization were logical and the reader felt she was inside the child's mind as all unfolded. Nicely done.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Thank you so much for the fantastic review, LaRosa. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars. I'm glad you liked this silly thing.
Comment from Hansel1
A fun poem about childhood and family. This piece made me flash back to Thanksgiving dinner at the grandparents' house with the whole family - such a fun time!
I would consider revising the last line in stanza 5. 'and, boy, did it feel good.' While it might be grammatically correct, it does force the reader to slow down, taking them off the lovely meter you've set throughout the piece. Taking out one of two commas should suffice though.
Otherwise, everything read effortlessly. Thank you for sharing your work and bringing a chuckle to my afternoon - Cheers!
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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A fun poem about childhood and family. This piece made me flash back to Thanksgiving dinner at the grandparents' house with the whole family - such a fun time!
I would consider revising the last line in stanza 5. 'and, boy, did it feel good.' While it might be grammatically correct, it does force the reader to slow down, taking them off the lovely meter you've set throughout the piece. Taking out one of two commas should suffice though.
Otherwise, everything read effortlessly. Thank you for sharing your work and bringing a chuckle to my afternoon - Cheers!
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the great review, Hansel. I'll give your suggestion some thought. It does seem to stretch that line out. I'm glad you had a laugh at this silliness.
Comment from doggymad
This was a great write and perfect for the contest. I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of this young lad and his announcement at the dinner table.
I imagine he also learned the usefulness of the term 'sotto voce' from this experience
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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This was a great write and perfect for the contest. I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of this young lad and his announcement at the dinner table.
I imagine he also learned the usefulness of the term 'sotto voce' from this experience
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the great review, DM. I really appreciate the gracious stars. I'm glad you had a chuckle at this silly piece.
Comment from JW
Thanks for sharing this poem. I can actually see something like this happening in real life. However, I do have to disagree that kids should be spanked for being kids.
Having to apologize should have been suffice. After all, even adults (especially older ones) pass gas now and then. :-) JW
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Thanks for sharing this poem. I can actually see something like this happening in real life. However, I do have to disagree that kids should be spanked for being kids.
Having to apologize should have been suffice. After all, even adults (especially older ones) pass gas now and then. :-) JW
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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I agree too, JW. But my grandma grew up old school and would whap your butt a good one if you got out of line. Thank goodness this is just a fictional piece, lol. Thank you for the great review.
Comment from Thal1959
Very charming. The rhymes and rhythm is all fine, and the subject matter has the "effluvium" of old and stagnant childhood memories. Of course, if I were the kid, next time at grandma's place, I would eat a double portion of broccoli and let the whole miserable family have it! (Especially in the close confines of the car going home!)
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Very charming. The rhymes and rhythm is all fine, and the subject matter has the "effluvium" of old and stagnant childhood memories. Of course, if I were the kid, next time at grandma's place, I would eat a double portion of broccoli and let the whole miserable family have it! (Especially in the close confines of the car going home!)
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Hahaha. Sounds like me. Thank you for the excellent review, Thal. I'm glad you liked this silly piece.
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You're welcome - it was my pleasure.
